Inevitable Gassy
@OldGassy1984
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Following
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Statuses
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Huge TV star rumoured for Tess Daley and Claudia Winkleman’s Strictly replacement https://t.co/lrSbAqq2Cv
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Huge TV star rumoured for Tess Daley and Claudia Winkleman’s Strictly replacement https://t.co/lrSbAqq2Cv
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Aunt Flora (Poppy’s mum) is getting a lot of stick for this. She also has to wear her ski wear she normally reserves for St. Moritz to keep warm. Well done Starmer.
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BBC1 8.30pm I AIN'T HALF BOT, MUM! More hilarity about an army of right-wing outrage merchants putting up a ridiculous show of nonsense about the UK, while being stationed somewhere in India.
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Me ordering a mince pie, like a normal man: "Can I have a Christmas mince pie please. Make sure it's a Christmas mince pie not a generic one."
Tesco can plaster tinsel all over the box, but apparently the word “Christmas” is too risky for their “Merry Mince Pies”. Welcome to the era of corporate tiptoeing so as we don’t offend the murderers and rapists flooding the country. We are doomed. Bah humbug
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"No, no. As I recall, I was aware of Thailand's reputation for fine tailoring, and so I asked for 40 costly suits to be brought to my room."
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‘I was on a mission to spread Christianity to Thailand and meant to order 40 Protestants for my hotel room’
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The word 'Christmas' MUST be inserted after any use of the word 'merry'! We demand: The Merry Christmas Wives of Windsor! The Merry Christmas Widow! Robin Hood and his Merry Christmas Men! 😂😂
Tesco can plaster tinsel all over the box, but apparently the word “Christmas” is too risky for their “Merry Mince Pies”. Welcome to the era of corporate tiptoeing so as we don’t offend the murderers and rapists flooding the country. We are doomed. Bah humbug
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🎵 Get lost, you 'merry' mental man ... 🎵
Tesco can plaster tinsel all over the box, but apparently the word “Christmas” is too risky for their “Merry Mince Pies”. Welcome to the era of corporate tiptoeing so as we don’t offend the murderers and rapists flooding the country. We are doomed. Bah humbug
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"I did tell you I was good at foreign affairs."
Andrew had 40 prostitutes brought to his five-star hotel in JUST four days during taxpayer-funded trip to Thailand, royal historian Andrew Lownie tells bombshell Daily Mail podcast
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BBC1 8pm ONLY TOOLS AND CHANCERS There's trouble for spiv Nige Boy and dimwitted brother Dickie when Uncle Lee accidentally orders a three-wheeler motability vehicle!
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“Ring bolt.”
I will ring bolt London then squeeze it extremely tight with my zero tolerance, deterrent and accountability policies until every single illegal and extremist is forced out or realises that London no longer welcomes them and that my specialist teams will hunt them into
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Andrew Windsor sends out one of the gardeners to pick up a few things... "Four Tea-Haws"
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RT @Parody_PM: Boris Johnson discusses the human flaw allowed him to become PM despite being a corrupt, lying, entitled, self-serving sack…
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“ah but this can’t be true because what you probably don’t know is that I’m allergic to prostitutes…a long running side effect following my tour of duty in Iraq.”
Andrew ‘had 40 prostitutes brought into five-star Thai hotel within four days’
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The Ghost of Clacton Pier, by M R James Classic Gothic horror, telling of a ghastly spectral figure who returns to haunt Clacton on one night each year, moaning "I'll tell you what", before mysteriously disappearing again. (Not suitable for children).
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Man in the office on Hallowe'en, scared witless by 'a ghastly wailing as though produced by something not of this earth', is relieved to find there's a rational explanation.
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It’s Friday and this man is blissfully unaware that the UK is sliding inevitably into civil war.
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