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Sir Michael Take CBE Profile
Sir Michael Take CBE

@MichaelTakeMP

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Following
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The former Conservative MP for Dorset East. 🇬🇧 I can also be found here too: https://t.co/czJlwAsKtK

Gussage All Saints, Dorset.
Joined May 2020
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@MichaelTakeMP
Sir Michael Take CBE
3 years
Delighted to see that The Daily Mail has had the good sense to quote me regarding the government’s sensible idea to disperse sewage in coastal waters in a safe manner whilst beaches are empty. The Daily Mail continues to be an example of rigorous & well researched journalism.👍
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@MichaelTakeMP
Sir Michael Take CBE
7 hours
RT @MichaelTakeMP: Bunty & I received a special invitation yesterday. ‘You are both cordially invited to the annual Nigel Farage riots tak….
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@MichaelTakeMP
Sir Michael Take CBE
12 hours
Bunty & I received a special invitation yesterday. ‘You are both cordially invited to the annual Nigel Farage riots taking place this August 2025. RSVP.Please dress appropriately.’.I’m thinking we look rather smart in anticipation of this soirée.
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@MichaelTakeMP
Sir Michael Take CBE
1 day
Being patriotic I’m adding to the flag count down here in the village. And Ramrod my beloved brown Lab is only too willing to help, being the patriotic dog he is. Between myself and Ramrod I think we’re doing a jolly good job!.What do you think?.🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧
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@MichaelTakeMP
Sir Michael Take CBE
3 days
Get the Union Jacks out.Get the matches out.Mummy’s f*cking home!.And she’ll be singing us her favourite nursery rhyme:.Rock-a-bye baby, in the treetop.When the fire burns, the cradle will rock.When the bough flames, the cradle will fall.And down will come baby, migrants & all.🥺
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@barstoolsports
Barstool Sports
3 days
RT @PardonMyTake: Tuesday night max woke Big Cat up with a flashlight at 2am because he thought we were going to get sued. @forthepeople ht….
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@MichaelTakeMP
Sir Michael Take CBE
4 days
Benidorm:.The last bastion of the British Empire. When you listen to these two you realise the sun never truly sets on our great empire and that God is an English man. P.S. Where are their bloody Union Jacks?.🇬🇧.
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@MichaelTakeMP
Sir Michael Take CBE
5 days
Can I ask a question?.And please forgive my ignorance…but is President Trump erm skibidi?.🤔
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@MichaelTakeMP
Sir Michael Take CBE
6 days
A Summer Poem. B̲ronzed & tanned a burnished gold,.O̲n his Summer holidays,.R̲esting his sap filled conkers,.I̲mbibibing merrily with teats on display,.S̲paffing furiously on fungi stained sun loungers. 🇬🇧
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@MichaelTakeMP
Sir Michael Take CBE
7 days
I see Reform UK have been promoting their exclusive bloody football shirt everywhere. What they haven’t shown you is their away kit:.😙
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@MichaelTakeMP
Sir Michael Take CBE
8 days
Who remembers the good old days?.Big boots.Pledges.Great Maths.Fantastic chess.Brilliantly packed dishwashers.Helicopter rides aplenty. ‘And what business do you work in?’ was his catchphrase. Rishi Sunak will be remembered as one of the greatest Prime Ministers of all time. 🇬🇧
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@MichaelTakeMP
Sir Michael Take CBE
8 days
Why all the oohs, aahs & applause?.I frequently do this with my conkers when I’m stood in my morning shower. 🚿
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@MichaelTakeMP
Sir Michael Take CBE
9 days
If DJ Vance had come to our village pub we’d have:.Given him free mascara. Offered him food,drink & moisture. He’d have tasted Jill’s famous baps on a luxury sofa. He’d have danced with grans. His conker hairs captured in a bottle,would be kept as a relic in the village church.❤️
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@MichaelTakeMP
Sir Michael Take CBE
10 days
I’ve always said Reform have lacked intellectual heavyweights. Not anymore!.Introducing Councillor Maxine and Andy. The Boycie & Marlene of the political world. You can ask them about asylum seekers but don’t test them on their four times table. Bosh!.🇬🇧
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@MichaelTakeMP
Sir Michael Take CBE
11 days
What Vice President DJ Vance keeps in all those cars in his convoy:.Illegal fishing rods.Industrial quantities of mascara.Suitcases full of fake tan.Chaka Demus and Pliers.Men with guns.David Lammy’s fish.All the UK ‘A’ Level results.Ronnie Pickering. 🇺🇸.
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@MichaelTakeMP
Sir Michael Take CBE
12 days
There is something hugely satisfying in seeing Kemi pouring her creamy products over a stiff dry cone. 🥵.This is what our great nation wants!. Incidentally how can Mel Stride be both inside & outside the ice cream booth at the same time?.Call it Conservative magic!.🇬🇧
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@MichaelTakeMP
Sir Michael Take CBE
12 days
Dame Andrea Jenkyns is a HUGE asset to Reform. She was always an incisive Conservative MP admired by us all for her ability to clearly outline policy. Look at her here, superbly articulating Reform’s plans for asylum seekers in the UK to C4 Linekerist Christmas Guru-Murphy. 🤩
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@MichaelTakeMP
Sir Michael Take CBE
14 days
Rupert Lowe has spotted another boat full of illegal migrants in our waters….🥺.
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@MichaelTakeMP
Sir Michael Take CBE
14 days
Great to see Eric Pickles my old chum and former Chairman of The Conservative Party enjoying the football at the weekend. 👍.
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@MichaelTakeMP
Sir Michael Take CBE
15 days
That should read teats not tests!.😄.
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@MichaelTakeMP
Sir Michael Take CBE
15 days
When you bombard the high streets with Greggs….When you allow fully grown men to wear trainer socks….When you tolerate men baring their tests in public….When you approve of tight leggings, threesomes, tattoos and Crocs….This is what you end up with:.😳.
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@MichaelTakeMP
Sir Michael Take CBE
16 days
Seeing two respected politicians like David Lammy & Vice President JR Ewing get their rods out in public like this is both outrageous & upsetting. Former Tory MP Peter Bone was sacked for obscene behaviour like this. Both Pres. Trump & Labour MUST take disciplinary action NOW!.😡
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