Delighted to see that The Daily Mail has had the good sense to quote me regarding the government’s sensible idea to disperse sewage in coastal waters in a safe manner whilst beaches are empty. The Daily Mail continues to be an example of rigorous & well researched journalism.👍

The Reform Christian Church: Its patron saint is St. Judas Iscariot. Let us pray🙏🏻 ‘Our Nigel,which art in parliament, Farage be thy Name; Thy fascism come; Thy will be done in Dubai,as it is in Clacton.’ As for that Jesus bloke, he’s a bloody leftard.😤 https://t.co/VXpeQtDLif

We are struggling in The Ashes. So how about these replacements? Boris-Enjoys stroking his balls on the off side & he always has an erect Silly Mid On. Rishi-Loves a bit of spin. Nigel-Always stumps people regarding his tax affairs. King Charles-He’s married to an old bat! 🏏

We’re rehearsing our village pantomime! Huw Edwards plays Baron Hardup. Carol Malone & Priti Patel are the ugly sisters. Gregg Wallace plays Buttons, who hilariously keeps losing his trousers. Richard Tice is Aladdin. And here’s Boris Johnson as Mounjaro the Christmas fairy! 🎭😊

I couldn’t decide between deck-builder or city-builder... so I made BOTH. A cozy but compelling roguelite city-builder where you place buildings from your deck to settle islands. Unlock, swap and combine technologies to twist core rules and discover powerful card combos.

Even as a Tory I must admit Reform MPs are devoted to serving their constituencies. For example Lee Anderson selling his ‘funny’ 30p football shirts in Ashdown & Nigel Farage’s outstanding work in Clacton. Oh & here is Richard Tice working hard in his constituency of Skegness. 📃

My wife Bunty & I had the privilege of visiting Nigel Farage in his campaign office during the last election. He was so lovely & allowed Bunters to take a photo of him (shown below). There was absolutely no hint of him exceeding electoral expenses & being involved in fraud. 😊

There is only one person responsible for England’s appalling performance in The Ashes and that person is RACHEL REEVES. By raising income tax in her budget she has put unbearable fiscal pressure on our top order batters. She also blatantly lied about Bazball. She MUST resign! 😡

‘It’s from Daddy. He says he’s had a bit of a weird time of late. Apparently he went to a World Cup draw and ended up being presented with some sort of World peace prize…’

The new Liz Truss Show, EVERY Friday on GB Noise! Will Liz trickle down live on air? 😬 Will she show us her pie, or maybe her wet lettuce? Will Kwasi pop along & boast about his economic growth? Could there be live fracking on air? 😳 Tune in & find out! https://t.co/aiYnPwAcSL

Here’s Albert Steptoe MP stating what would be called ‘The bloody obvious.’ He’s not the sharpest tool in the shed is he? 🥹

Ha Ha Nigel! We’re gradually taking over your party from within: Danny Kruger Jonathan Gullis Nadine Dorries. By the time of the next election WE will be in charge of your party old boy. And you’ll be stuck in Clacton unable to stop us. Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha (evil, sniggering laugh.)😝

Jonathan Gullis has defected to Reform. What a coup for them! Jonathan will add: Hair Grunts An odour of hay An itchy hole Fungi Wrinkled shirts Porridge Jizz Conker hairs Squirrel food And damp patches wherever he sits. He truly will be a great asset. 🇬🇧

Pssssst… Don’t tell my wife Bunty. But I’ve arranged a special, personal Christmas greeting for her. 🎄 It’s from a top celebrity! I wonder if he’ll show her his Yuletide log? 🎅 Do you think she’ll be impressed?

I preferred it when Rod Stewart sung Such lovely songs such as ‘Sailing,’ ‘Mull of Kintyre’ and ‘Margaret May.’ Now he’s become all radicalised, wallpapering his rooms in animal skin and sending back his gongs. 😬 https://t.co/pzbmewBZtR

It’s my birthday! Bunty has given me breakfast in bed allowing me to smear jam on her croissants. Later on Jill in the village shop is giving me a taste of her Lemon drizzle. Then Bunty & I will settle down & watch our DVD of Liz Truss’s greatest moments🥳 https://t.co/UmtcruCbt6

Oh my goodness…😳 And I thought that whiff of urine & excrement I caught, whenever I met Nigel in the TV studio, might be due to a minor incontinence problem or an unchanged nappy. 😱

Nigel Farage… A fascist and racist during his schooldays? I just don’t believe it!

First Post Budget Poll: ➡️REF – 11% (-2) 🔵CON – 42% (+2) 🟢GRN – 8% (+1) 🔴LAB – 12% (-) 🟠LD – 11% (-) 🏏LBW -3% (+1) 🍆VD - 8% (-3) 😆LOL - 6% (+2) 🛒VAT - 20% (-) 👨‍🦳OAP - 5% (-2) 🤕 DIY - 4% (-) Conservatives to form the next government with 436 seats in Parliament. 🇬🇧

Rachel Reeves. With regard to your budget, please listen to Hilary from our village. She’s married to Roger & sings soprano in the church choir. People aren’t bothered about the minimum wage or income tax. They want a return to good old fashioned Quality Street! DO SOMETHING! 😡

‘You, Boy! Go and racially abuse everybody you meet …but not in a hurtful or insulting way!

I’m worried about Richard, the supposed Reform candidate in some council by election or other in Lincolnshire. Look at the faraway look in his eyes. The sadness. The furrowed brow. The dull listlessness…😔 Is he being held hostage against his will by Andrea Jenkyns? 😱