I appreciate the sister who got this shot of my sign today. #Charlottesville #JusticeForBreonna #JusticeForAhmaud #JusticeForGeorge #BLM #SayHerName

Just donated. Do it if you can

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https://t.co/cbSohUnYk0

Corporate empathy: “We know many of you have had your legs snapped clean in two. If you need any help finishing this marathon, just raise your hand!”

we often focus on mis/disinfo at scale but it’s these insular and self-congratulatory circles of information sharing among rich assholes that, as ever, are gonna get people killed

Could not have predicted the level of passion and commitment it would take to open a produce bag without licking a finger, but I did it for you America 🇺🇸

Thanks @bobotron. You are still the only man I’ll ever tweet.

Clarissa? Salute Your Shorts? Google will not confirm.

Does anyone remember what kids’ show from the 80s or 90s is the reason I know the words “medulla oblongata”?

Unlike most comedians, I have not been encouraging my fan base to vote because my fan base is entirely composed of research librarians, hyper-competant young professional women, and gay guys whose offices could not function without them. They've got a voting plan.

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Sexy Missing Garbage Day

I can only assume this is a bill to increase funding to the Texas State Library and Archives Commission! Right?

That's @ut_rds providing some topnotch service

this Twitter account that replaces "big data" with "batman" is maybe the only pure thing in the world

We've already raised a quarter-mil for challengers to swing-district GOPers voting for Trumpcare: https://t.co/faKxjK1Iyn ... and counting

#ACHA People dying of cancer really shouldn't have to stress about this stuff! So frustrated right now.

#ScienceMarch #atx

Trying to take a good selfie can sometimes be a struggle… #FridayFunny #ShareTheLaughter