Hayley...
@allhaylsatan
Followers
590
Following
343
Media
1,165
Statuses
12,744
Explore trending content on Musk Viewer
Chiefs
• 115523 Tweets
Cowboys
• 96153 Tweets
連休最終日
• 84569 Tweets
Falcons
• 55564 Tweets
Susana
• 46845 Tweets
Mahomes
• 39175 Tweets
Paredes
• 34038 Tweets
Serving Humanity
• 25064 Tweets
Mayito
• 24149 Tweets
KARIME COLUCCI
• 23738 Tweets
GARIME TOP DOS
• 23709 Tweets
Cousins
• 22041 Tweets
Maha Paropkar Diwas
• 21384 Tweets
KARMA IS GALA MONTES
• 20617 Tweets
maria becerra
• 19862 Tweets
Kelce
• 18585 Tweets
イチロー
• 18224 Tweets
#LaAcademiaDisney
• 14823 Tweets
PM VLOG PART 2
• 14752 Tweets
Anahí
• 11259 Tweets
It’s The People’s Princess weather aka bike shorts and crew necks casually thrown on w high cut white socks only
28
2K
24K
Beyoncé said let’s make love in the summertime and now it’s illegal to have sex from September-May
1
88
674
When I don’t have a package to track it’s like well what am I supposed to do today
0
35
452
Do not do this
Ask your mom who to vote for. Vote for who she say
5K
2K
18K
1
52
401
@hunteryharris
It’s giving… email body - text set to size large on iPhone screen - typed by agent and sent to Don, that was then screenshotted and cropped to post
1
7
387
Remembering my first corporate party in 2017 that I got really drunk at and then came into work the next day and the CEO opened an all hands meeting with the line “as a reminder we do not get drunk, as employees, at work events”
0
1
328
I’m sick and tired of my crushes not responding to my Instagram stories like why else am I trapped on this god forsaken app for the love of GOD
0
37
262
At this time, we’re unfortunately perusing other candidates. Thank you for your time!
0
3
147
In many ways this would be the perfect lesbian couples costume
2
4
109
My dentist today told me that those floss pic things don’t work (and by using them I actually haven’t been avoiding cavaties) and I was so shocked about the flossers that I said “no…no…there must be some misunderstanding”
6
1
95
Me hiding on the Transformers set to be close to Megan Fox
0
4
91
Fell to my knees over aparagus lattice
parmesan-crusted chicken schnitzel over white asparagus caesar salad
12
155
4K
0
1
87
Obsessed w this IG glitch that gave me a Buildings of New England x KKW collab on my feed
2
0
80
Trying to carry on at work business as usual, working through the NYC climate apocalypse, while the room glows yellow and it smells like BBQ outside
0
12
76
I live in a building with worlds thinnest walls and I hate to report a 16 y/o boy moved in above me with his mom and the walls are so thin I can hear him watching porn on low volume at 3:15pm ❤️
3
0
74
I wear mostly all black every day but sometimes I just can’t shake the feeling I’m dressed as a 7th grade stage crew member on their way to tech rehearsal at the middle school auditorium
0
3
73
Please, please do not settle into the mindset of “a day off” if you are white. Don’t play this like you have a summer Friday or something. Do the work, do the reading and most importantly - open your wallet. Reach out to me if you need resources!
0
16
72
If I have a crush on you I really do need you to be promptly watching my Instagram stories like you never know when I’ll be funny/charming/cool/cute and you wouldn’t want to miss that would you?
2
15
65
I can’t believe I didn’t scream louder from mountain tops about men’s abuse and their grossities when I was in college & friends would share things. That behavior was/is so hurtful. Denouncing someone in private w/ words is not the same as doing so in public w/ action + tenacity.
0
6
68
My favorite song off of Lady Gaga's Born This Way album
1
13
61
In my language we call this Queen Mother
Denver mayoral candidate Renate Behrens wants to convert churches, factories, offices and parking lots into affordable housing. She also claims she would "install obstacles" to discourage car use in the city. Behrens is German-born and says she's running because she "needs a job"
145
865
17K
0
4
63
When people pronounce niche as “nitch” instead of “neesh” I feel like the police need to be involved
1
4
62
Just drank a VERY tall glass of water I can't wait to have clear skin!
0
5
61
This and a blunt
0
8
48
Every f*g on the LIRR to Fire Island with a little fanny pack and a dream while Callie and I have 3 coolers filled with marinating chicken, potato salad, veggie skewers, dips, orange wine…
2
0
49
Is this dead ass the green line on Harvard Ave
0
8
46
If you can imagine getting up from your couch on camera, on a zoom call, only to discover you’ve bled through your tampon onto your light pink couch where a huge red blood stain has formed for all zoom participants to see up close then you reader, can imagine my Monday afternoon!
3
0
46
How does Common have time to introduce Hamilton at the Tonys when he has to work at EmCafe tomorrow morning!!!?
0
5
45
I need to take shrooms and watch the white lotus intro on repeat like 34 times
14
0
35
This reads as a threat more than a support message
0
0
38
FOR WHO KIMBERLY??? SAY MORE! Denounce write ins for your husband and log off for the week
1
4
40
It’s crazy that people like...pretend their parents don’t pay their rent like? Performative struggles are so....ugly? Are you guilty that your rent is paid and you still don’t contribute financially to disenfranchised communities? You pressed about the uber split? What is it!!
1
2
37
Idk how to say this but we’re at the same hotel in Cabo that the Free People influencer trip is at rn and the girlies are getting their motherfucking content at the pool yes mama!
1
0
37
I was just admiring a man’s outfit on the subway and just realized he’s a literal postman. He’s wearing the USPS post delivery service uniform and I almost asked him where he got his pants.
0
0
36
Whenever I’m around random extended family I’m like…do you guys know I am cool and hot? Or do you perceive me as something…else 😵💫
1
0
37
I think when Rupi Kaur girls do that thing where they finger different fruits for art projects it is SO funny like get ur nasty paws off of that perfectly ripe nectarine those are expensive
1
2
36
PLEASE respect my privacy and the privacy of my family as we sort this out. Media wants to spin this to make me look bad but you have NOT been given the full story.
Woman smashes window at Popeyes because $4 meal doesn't come with soda
238
1K
3K
0
3
33
What if I started Haim-ing it up and went full time middle part?
3
0
35
Oh no the doctor just called and confirmed I’ve been diagnosed with the need to snack on fruit roll ups and unfortunately it’s terminal
2
0
36
Hi I’m not sure where to do this but is this the right place to address the new shirt I bought after seeing some person’s TikTok?
7
0
34
Netflix please lower your voice
I don’t mean to @ myself, but if you loved Diane from It Takes Two and Chessy from The Parent Trap — you might be gay now.
117
769
6K
0
1
34
Being at my parents house means my high snack is a leftover pork tenderloin sandwich with spicy apple slaw not unlike the usual 5 cheetos, a glass of warm tap water, and a hard boiled egg I have in NY
0
0
33
Some of you grew up in homes with finished basements and it really shows
0
4
30
I can’t believe this! I can’t believe congress passed the law that if you’re my barista and we talk for more than 0.03 seconds we HAVE to fuck. This is insane! USA! USA!
1
0
32
There is nothing quite like diarrhea in the Amtrak bathroom…God does not exist here…
1
1
31
Sadly went to sleep December 14th 2021 and woke up March 13th 2020 like the rest of gay Brooklyn
2
0
32
Whoever sent me this today and whoever it was intended for are both icons
2
0
31
Unfortunately quitting my well paying & stable full time job after witnessing a coworker use a coffee cup that says “hustle juice”
1
0
30
Obsessed with feeling like 3:45 is the end of a work day. If you email me at 5:45 which is fully inside our working hours? No ma’am. That’s night time.
2
0
30
It’s so much pressure when a hot person sits across from you on the train bc you were just trying to sleep your way to work but now you have to sit up and act like a cool mannequin for 30 mins
0
0
29
This tweet starts with the exact, verbatim way I would want one of you to write my Eulogy…
Eating ass. Dick veins. Horny crypto outrage bait. Pickle pics. Nutty shit. Mascots having sex for clicks. I wrote about how we reached this get-viral-quick chapter of gimmick marketing in a long history of brands acting horny on social media
43
107
613
0
3
28
This beautiful mystery woman has 2 things I don't: rain appropriate gear & an irrelevant servant to carry her around
1
6
29
High and dog sitting my parents dog and I don’t know how to tell him (the dog) that I don’t love him but that I still respect him and am happy for him
0
0
29
There's no reality where I'm just eating one bowl of cereal it's always fucking 6 bowls and a Honey Nut Blackout later that I am satisfied
0
3
26
I brought up Carly Rae the other day at work and a str**ght person deadass said “oh like the Call Me Maybe girl?” like I have to laugh....some people really are still asleep....
0
2
27
Dum as absolute shit. Never have weed. Openly shit on my rug. Pass.
0
1
26
Is there ANYTHING more safe than putting on a random episode of The Office when you’re high
0
0
26
I was weirdly embarrassed to watch Bend It Like Beckham as a kid and now I realize it’s just because I was gay and horny for the entire soccer team but wasn’t quite sure what was going on
1
1
28
The holidays remind me how time consuming being a lesbian housewife is… and that I should, in fact, make housewifing a full time job (deviled eggs, twice baked potatoes before the 2nd bake, homemade dill cocktail pickles, maple Dijon ham)
1
0
27
It sucks that people can be hot and have relationships and successful careers while also listing their education as Hogwarts on Facebook
0
0
27
Straight women love to be like
“Happy Birthday to my soulmate, my twin flame. My witchy sister in this crazy life! My sole obsession, with whom I spend more time & energy than anyone in the world. I am in love with her & can’t believe Josh is marrying her. Anyways HBD Jessica!”
1
0
28
Luann airing her divorce drama on Bravo
3
0
28
You: ya spring is nice, Easter soon... that's cool
Cousin who went to a state school & joined a sorority who your grandparents like better:
0
1
26
Just remembered my high school lunch period was 22 minutes long and started at 10:50 AM 🤩
1
0
27
Cheaper by the Dozen was...a simpler time. Taking a mans underwear and soaking it in raw meat? A little butch queen and a freak who carries around a frog? I could not ASK for MORE wow
0
0
25
I have once again re downloaded Tinder and I can’t stop soliciting advice for my broken toe. It’s going really well, I found a podiatrist in some stroke of luck and am now en route to buy a toe splint, per the advice.
Gonna delete the app once I find the right splint though
0
0
27
It’s 5PM and I just realized my intern never showed up today?
0
0
24
Alexa please draft tweet:
“The Amanda Show died so that iCarly could live”
Send the tweet, Alexa
1
0
27
Everyone deserves to go out and get drunk but not everyone deserves to take that to their Instagram stories
1
0
26
Time will pass but the stage crew kids working on a middle school theater production will stay the same
1
0
24
My ideal date is you take me to Chick Fil A and pay for my chicken sandwich while I listen to Lady Gag with headphones on, checking Twitter
1
1
25
So severely scared of the impending Fourth of July social media posts so I’m trying to prematurely unfollow people who would hit the internet with a “Land of the Free because of the Brave” or something WORSE like “Proud to be an American”
1
1
24
After a long time thinking about this decision, I’ve decided that after doing 8 jumping jacks and 4 push ups, the best thing for my body right now will be for 6 more months of rest and down time
0
1
25
Alexa fetch me the carriage I’d like to go for a jaunt about town
2
3
24
I’m so sorry to be doing this over Twitter but if you’ve come in contact with me in the last 2 weeks I recommend you go get tested because I just got diagnosed with having the most perfect, zip code owning ass in the whole world!
2
0
25
Let’s go lesbians!
0
0
24