WulfHelm 💙🖤
@Wulf_Helm
Followers
9,045
Following
9,950
Media
18,456
Statuses
50,431
Bretwalda of the Angli. Please use your Gods responsibly. Hinc videre possum domum tuam.
The Mead Hall. Wulferhampton.
Joined April 2021
Don't wanna be here?
Send us removal request.
Explore trending content on Musk Viewer
SAROCHA REBECCA IN KAZZ
• 990570 Tweets
#Aぇǃgroup
• 149165 Tweets
Tottenham
• 126026 Tweets
ナイジェリア
• 71140 Tweets
インプレゾンビ
• 60954 Tweets
Varane
• 54794 Tweets
WNBA
• 51253 Tweets
Mike Johnson
• 49311 Tweets
#OurShiningStarYoshiDay
• 48897 Tweets
#芳典に夢中な私はもうSTUPID
• 48418 Tweets
MAY THE 24TH BE WITH YOSHI
• 46896 Tweets
Speaker Johnson
• 41898 Tweets
Julie
• 41368 Tweets
MC KristP and Guest Singto
• 40574 Tweets
HAERIN SWEET 18
• 34893 Tweets
#MileFlyWithBulgari
• 34817 Tweets
MILE FLY TO ZURICH
• 25655 Tweets
Cássio
• 24274 Tweets
Alito
• 16333 Tweets
Menem
• 14414 Tweets
Rhaenyra
• 13858 Tweets
ジュニア卒業
• 12353 Tweets
twenty one pilots
• 11703 Tweets
Pinned Tweet
The sun will rise in the East tomorrow.
Your attendance is not required.
It would be nice if you were there though.
90
61
558
As a company Director I wish to offer my sincere apologies to
@BorisJohnson
, my employees, my customers, my suppliers and the British public for failing to properly prepare for problems
@BorisJohnson
spent the last five years telling me would never happen.
187
6K
21K
Apparently you have to pick a side, pick a flag, pick an ideology, pick a religion.
Well I pick humanity and fuck your sides and fuck your flag and fuck your ideology and fuck your religion and double fuck each and everyone of you who thinks a single human death is justified.
186
871
5K
Anyway
Eggs
You're probably wondering why your class A eggs (table egg) are more expensive than they used to be
Well there's a funny story there
And when I say funny I mean
@Nigel_Farage
is a cunt
61
484
4K
A lot of accounts I like and value are slagging off Starmer
As a matter of record I'm no Starmer fanboi
But fucksake, writing him off before he's even set foot in the door?
Have you seen who's running the country now?
297
495
4K
Boris Johnson's phone
Test and trace
Baroness Owen of Alderley Edge
Michelle Mone
We've not forgotten have we?
119
1K
3K
I remember lock down
I went to work every day, being a key worker
Never went to no parties though
Just rocked up day after day, did my thing, went home
Wept a little for the dead
But never went to no parties
Did I get it wrong?
226
541
3K
I was never a fan of Corbyn.
Voted for him.
But not a fan (putting it mildly)
My opinion has not changed.
I'm not a fan of Starmer.
But I'll vote for him.
Because if you think the alternative is better you're no better than a Tory.
358
457
3K
So Prince William will be attending the Euro finals on Sunday.
Football chant writers do your thing.
263
369
3K
Scott Benton forgetting to mention that;
A. Boris Johnson bought some for £322,000
B. Boris found after purchasing them that their use was illegal.
C. They were never used and eventually sold for a £300,000 loss.
D.
@ScottBentonMP
has a majority of just 3,690.
115
820
3K
Dear followers.
To be clear.
@Keir_Starmer
doesn't light a fire in my heart.
But, he's honest, decent & wouldn't sacrifice you Nan for a few fucking votes.
If you have a problem with this, with common human decency, FUCK OFF.
Thank you for listening.
55
207
2K
Perhaps too early to call it but I'm beginning to suspect
@BorisJohnson
may not be up to the job.
138
252
2K
If you're complaining about the heat just imagine how your grandchildren will feel.
44
553
2K
True.
If you leave a dog poo, you will be fined £80 pounds, but if you do this to our beaches, you will get a tax cut.
438
14K
39K
15
840
2K
Ian Levy MP for Blyth Valley.
Ian voted to fill our waterways with raw sewage.
Ian has a majority of 712.
151
1K
2K
Christmas trees are German.
If you are offended by the putting up of a CHRISTMAS TREE In the uk 🇬🇧,
Then you are living in the wrong country,
And I don’t give a flying fuk where you were born
2K
706
4K
68
87
2K
Brexit broke us.
The same nation that celebrated the Olympics in 2012 is the same nation that voted for madness in 2016.
And now we are torn, a house devided against itself, doomed to fail.
How do we come back from that?
153
285
1K
Welcome to that part of the decline and fall of Great Britain where your bronze swimming award has more value than a knighthood.
57
298
1K
Personally I feel quite sorry for
@NadineDorries
. Sometime in the next two years she's gonna be looking for work and, I'll be honest here, I don't hold out much hope.
159
114
1K
The face you make after telling the poor of Tamworth to fuck off and they turn around and tell you to fuck off you monumental prick.
Good riddance to bad rubbish.
49
221
1K
I don't give a fuck about Tony Blair, he is yesterday.
I don't give a fuck about Jeremy Corbyn, he is yesterday.
I give a fuck about tomorrow.
Tomorrow is about people, we need to give a fuck about people.
60
187
1K
This wanker just tried to bring a live weasel into the house.
Yes. There was screaming.
No. The weasel was not dead.
Yes. The weasel bit me.
Yes. This wanker also bit me.
Yes. The weasel was released into the wild.
Did I mention that I'm bleeding?
240
93
1K
Never trust a person who doesn't like dogs.
Never ever trust a person who dogs don't like.
Trust me on this.
145
113
1K
I thought for sure he'd recognise a sinking ship when he saw one.
121
186
1K
If you're complaining about the heat imagine how your grandchildren will feel.
26
315
1K
When you've got some urgent despoting to do but you had a dodgy kebab last night.
119
160
1K
Dear
@SuellaBraverman
. This 👇 is what a hate march looks like.
CC
@RishiSunak
Fighting has broken out as people shouting ‘England ‘till I die’ attempted to reach the Cenotaph 👇
2K
2K
5K
69
484
1K
Binned a few Keiths today.
Planning on binning a few more.
If your shtick is to attack the current
@UKLabour
leader because he isn't your 'perfect' socialist saviour the feel free to fuck right off.
It's time for the grownups, your time is done.
75
99
1K
I'm starting to suspect that Brexit wasn't such a good idea after all.
81
99
1K
In the midst of 'Raynergate' we should all remember that
@JamesDalyMP
has a parliamentary majority of just 105.
97
331
1K
I'm as British as it gets.
You do not speak for me
@SuellaBraverman
.
"The British people want us to fix this problem, the system is rigged against them"
Home Secretary Suella Braverman says today's Court of Appeal ruling on the government's Rwanda plans is "disappointing"
3K
113
513
66
194
1K
Trying to come up with a collective noun for Conservatives, Unionists, Nationalists & Tories.
Struggling tbh.
387
157
985
So I've just written off £4.3 billion of fraudulent covid payments, but Sharon from Sheffield who got overpaid 65p on her child support, I'm sending the bailiffs after that bitch.
27
348
946
Sadly wild haggis are extinct and it's all farmed rubbish these days.
Douglas McTavish was a great haggis hunter but it was not until his later years that he finally snared four in a single hunt. Here he is presenting his winning catch..
Loch Awe 1924
115
351
1K
117
154
974
White. He meant white.
35
203
942
Here be the thing.
Come May the 5th you can vote your heart, your soul or your conscience.
May I respectfully suggest you lend your vote to the best placed progressive to unseat a Tory.
LibDem, Green or Labour.
It's the only way the good folk win.
34
325
918
I sent
@RishiSunak
a final note stating that unless he stopped being a cunt by 11:00 a state of war would exist between Wülferhampton and & the Tories.
I have to tell you now that no such undertaking has been received and consequently Wülferhampton is at war with the cunts.
133
139
939
For those of you struggling with Mastodon I've done my best to simplify it.
115
126
880
Things the
@Conservatives
can't be trusted with.
The economy
The
#NHS
National security
Our waterways
Piss ups in breweries
The environment
Education
Transport
Social care
Media regulation
Policing
Scissors
Standards in public life.
Did I miss anything?
202
348
873
The story so far.
•150,000 + dead
•2 bungled lock downs
•£37 billion failed test & trace
•Release of Covid + patients to care homes
•NHS/Social Care collapsing
•PPE contracts to mates
•Russian donations
•Lies on a bus
•Yellowhammer
•Missed 5 Cobra meetings
51
381
814
I have no confidence in folk who have no confidence in Keir Starmer.
22
82
823
We're living through something horrific right now
You're being told to choose one bunch of murdering bastards over another bunch of murdering bastards
And you, you're actually picking a side
How about we tell both sets of murdering bastards to go fuck themselves
Just me?
91
114
842
Incredibly disappointing to see French border control problems once again adding to traffic mayhem just as families are trying to getaway for the Easter holidays.
0
141
224
8
180
814
If you're old like me you may remember that the loudest sound of summer was the hum of insects.
The absence of that sound is bad news.
Trust me on this.
93
107
786
A defibrillator.
95
56
770
That Penny Mordor Homeopathy tweet cost me a few followers, apologies if I wasn't clear.
Homeopathy is championed by three types of people and three types of people ONLY.
The delusional, the fraudulent and the both.
Welcome to my TED talk.
47
77
733
Are we so want of fellowship, so bereft of basic humanity, so lacking in basic fellow human feeling that we would stand on a Dover cliff and point at our sad, desperate bretheren seeking safe haven and claim that they were the source of all our ills?
I say no
What say you?
121
152
742
379 people failed to live with covid yesterday.
Nanns, Gramps, Mothers, Fathers, Sisters, Sons.
Humans.
People.
Are you angry yet?
34
245
721
Right now I miss Tony Blair & Gordon Brown.
And if your reaction to that is 'yes but Iraq' feel free to fuck off.
56
82
716
Parental advisory.
In the next six to twelve months you're going to have a new government. If you think it will cure all ills on day one you're fooling yourself. The work before us is the work of a generation, at least.
Sorry.
50
107
730
Brexit didn't work because Brexit was betrayed is a take my German Jewish great Grandfather would recognise at a thousand paces.
17
138
694
Diary of a retired person.
06:45 glance at the clock, snigger, go back to sleep
09:00 get up
09:30 drink some tea, take the hounds of death for a walk
10:00 toast
13:45 sandwich
14:37 garden centre
16:10 gin & tonic
16:13 another gin & tonic
19:00 wine
21:06 bed
Repeat
141
34
717
Ash nazg durbatulûk, ash nazg gimbatul, ash nazg thrakatulûk, agh burzum-ishi krimpatul.
95
79
705
Another Tory government.
186
86
703
Folk who confuse accent with intelligence is a bigish part of what's wrong with this country.
Is bad grammar unprofessional?
Labour's Angela Rayner says she won't change her 'working-class' way of talking for Parliament.
Do you think she's right not to compromise her background? Or do you think we should all strive for a high standard of speaking?
#JeremyVine
2K
43
456
62
83
673
Things you can see from space.
1. The Pyramids.
2. The Great Wall of China.
3. This Lad's balls.
Zelensky: “Our military managed to replenish its arsenal due to the many pieces of equipment it took on the battlefield. Enemy tanks, armored vehicles, ammo will now work for our defense. What could be more humiliating for the invaders? We’ll beat the enemy with its own weapons.”
2K
22K
120K
12
102
676
Keir Starmer didn't leave his cancer stricken wife to shack up with his girlfriend and on the way didn't do the nasty with an American pole dancer with a sideline in IT.
Kier Starmer can probably telly you with a reasonable degree of accuracy how many children he has.
21
164
654
Does anybody still use an air fryer or is it at the back of the cupboard with the Breville sandwich maker, the juicer and the bread maker?
769
29
665
If you've found yourself blocked or unfollowed by this account today perhaps ask yourself this.
In the midst of the worst Tory government in living memory, and I include Thatcher here, did you choose to attack the only viable alternative?
If so I don't want to know you.
Sorry
39
39
623
OK, I confess, I struggle with the serious and my default position is to take this piss because I don't have the mental architecture for the serious stuff but if your default position is that one set of deaths is somehow better than another set of deaths then you, you're a cunt.
24
61
648
Strange but true. We are where we are because someone once ate a bacon sandwich wrong.
54
86
618
Tomorrow I will reintroduce working from home for all my people who can.
I like my folk alive but perhaps that's just me
@BorisJohnson
?
16
76
610
I'm not a fan of pile on's but I'll make an exception in this case.
55
257
587
150,000 + dead
Two bungled lock downs
£37 billion failed test n trace
PPE contracts to mates
Fishing betrayed
Farmers ruined
Exports crashed
NI in flames
Grenfell
£800 wallpaper
The Union collapsing
1% for the
#NHS
Empty shelves
Nandos n KFC
Afghanistan
Have we had enough yet?
55
257
588
Think of it this way.
Cunt we've always known was a cunt proves cunt we've always known was a cunt is a cunt.
46
101
599
We're making jokes about pork markets and innovative fucking cheese or jam or some such shite but the honest truth is our future is now in the hands of a person who struggles with the concept of basic fucking human dignity.
Despair is the new us.
18
107
578
Sunak and the Sajd took the Boris coin. Through covid & fuck up after screw up after 180,000 deaths after whattheactualfuck the nodded their little heads & did what Boris said.
They aren't heroes. They're rats looking for the next ship.
Remember that.
28
134
587