Tashy McTashface
@TashP351
Followers
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Following
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Media
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Statuses
110K
A whore in the kitchen, a cook in the bedroom, and a crap mum.
Joined May 2010
Me, helping my husband look for his “hand wash only” jumper I shrunk in the wash and binned last Thursday.
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The Bond party starts in 2 and a half hours, so that gives me time to transform from “hungover twat” to “mysterious hungover woman.”
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From 2018. I’m guessing Scott’s lottery numbers never came in.
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RT @allontheboard: Today is gonna be the day for all @oasis fans to celebrate the band being back together on stage for the first time sinc….
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My friend has a condition where she has to be early to everything. We’re going to a party tonight. I said I didn’t want to be early. She started throwing numbers around “20 minutes before on time” and being shit at maths I just agreed. Incredible negotiation on my part.
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Conversation with Eva: . “Mum, can I get a takeaway tonight please?” . “Sure, or there’s a pizza in the freezer if you like?”. She replied “Yeah, but it’s out of date.”
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This is Friday Dog. Friday Dog only ever plays one song, and it’s only ever on a Friday.
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I’m going to as party as Solitaire from James Bond on Saturday, but Paddington has tried on the head piece before me and I think I’ll just send him in my place because I won’t be able to top that.
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Saw Jurassic Park Rebirth last night. Did NOT disappoint. Especially the bit with the T Rex taking a well deserved nap from all the roaring etc, on his back, snoring his head off like he’d just stumbled back from the pub. What a legend.
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RT @mrliamdurkin: @TashP351 “Lads, I’m skint. Can anyone lend us a Tashy Holdsworth”?. *it’s a £50. Obviously.
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Elderly couple on a first date in the coffee shop today, they came up to the till separately to pay. When the lady got to me, she said she’s paying her half because they’re just friends at the moment and “there’s another gentleman caller in the mix.”. What a fucking legend.
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It’s ok. We sat outside and I got pissed. 👍🏻.
Neighbourhood watch summer party planning meeting tonight. Been at work all day in the boiling heat. Went to shops in boiling heat. Did a PT session (in more boiling heat). So a glass of sherry in a hot stuffy lounge with a clock chiming is just what the doctor ordered. 🫤.
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Neighbourhood watch summer party planning meeting tonight. Been at work all day in the boiling heat. Went to shops in boiling heat. Did a PT session (in more boiling heat). So a glass of sherry in a hot stuffy lounge with a clock chiming is just what the doctor ordered. 🫤.
Went to neighbourhood watch meeting last night AND IT WAS THE BEST NIGHT OF MY LIFE. It was literally like being in an Agatha Christie book. At one point even the clock chimed!. Everyone was about 109, mega posh and me & my friend got drunk on awful sherry and it was brilliant.
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Now going to eat the whole pack on the way home otherwise they’ll melt by the time I’m back. 180 cals totally worth it.
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