Dolphin Pilot
@TheAmitie
Followers
7,655
Following
1,291
Media
23,547
Statuses
301,991
social worker, Jew, dodger fan. he/him
Los Angeles
Joined August 2009
Don't wanna be here?
Send us removal request.
Explore trending content on Musk Viewer
PayPay
• 254412 Tweets
ロッキン
• 46340 Tweets
#XMen97
• 38537 Tweets
$FURY
• 38257 Tweets
BINI HOT SUMMER QUEENS
• 32098 Tweets
#ときのそらお披露目生誕祭
• 23984 Tweets
San Isidro
• 18795 Tweets
#歌うランキングSHOW
• 18596 Tweets
#笑ってコラえて
• 16976 Tweets
バッカーノ
• 16840 Tweets
大井記念
• 14076 Tweets
ドラマティカ
• 11931 Tweets
Pinned Tweet
There’s a portrait of Glenn greenwald in his attic that’s getting smarter and smarter
94
2K
17K
Real MLK: the Vietnam war is bad, unions are good, police are bad, communism is good
American history MLK: I want everyone to hug
52
8K
49K
Haha outsmarted that Detective Columbo, dude has no idea I’m the murderer. He’s just got one more question for me and then I’m off the hook
102
6K
47K
I cant imagine anyone fucking up a witch Hunt metaphor, one of the most straight forward metaphors in our language, worse than this
503
11K
36K
Making it sound like the nypd shot him
Breaking News: Shinzo Abe, Japan’s former prime minister, collapsed after a gunshot was heard as he delivered a speech, the country’s public broadcaster said.
637
2K
4K
45
2K
34K
Tarantino literally made a movie about a former slave murdering and butchering a bunch of white supremacists and had a dozen jokes about the KKK and how stupid they are less than 10 years ago
You could never do this joke from Blazing Saddles today
435
160
2K
63
1K
19K
Remember when that poacher lady got killed by an elephant and then the elephant went to her funeral and trampled her again? Lol
80
796
18K
My [35m] feral hogs [3m, 4m, 3f, 5m, 2f, 7f, 6m, 8m, 1f, 5f, 2f, 2m, 4m, 3m, 4m, 3f, 5m, 2f, 7f, 6m, 8m, 1f, 5f, 2f, 2m, 4m, 3m, 4m, 3f, 5m, 2f, 7f, 6m, 8m, 1f, 5f] are unionizing
44
2K
17K
Only took two weeks to get an answer to this question
Ben Shapiro defends Harlan Crow's Hitler artifacts and dictator statues: "I mean, that seems like a reason you might own this stuff is to remember the things that you hate"
3K
432
3K
25
909
16K
Think of all the rejected versions of this joke they didn’t publish… and this is the one they went with
275
569
15K
My (30m) coworker (60?m) told me not to kill a seabird, said it was bad luck, but I did. What should I do?
101
2K
13K
Republicans are like "look at this beautiful Christmas meal I made for my family"
30
360
9K
Philadelphia when their sports teams are winning: haha! Yes! Fuck yes!!!
Philadelphia when their sports teams are losing: I’m going to suicide bomb myself at the rocky statue
40
619
9K
I’m gonna do it. I’m gonna blame Martin Scorsese for matt Damon saying the f-slur
57
219
6K
Say what you want about the boys, but I’ll love it forever for being one of the few shows that managed to satirize this time in history and also made a bunch of maga shitheads confused for thinking they’re the good guys
18
154
6K
The way it ends with the hardest body slam a jeweler could ever give… my god
3
22
6K
@classicallyabby
Madonna didn’t kill anyone by promoting DARE and silencing harm reduction research, so I’d say she’s quite a bit better
9
69
5K
I think this is sincere and all the replies seem to be treating it sincere so if it’s bait, A+ job
7
10
4K
@EggerDC
Are you saying we should audit every PPP loan to make sure it went to the employees? I think that’s a great idea
37
156
4K
It says CUM lol
Next week
0-5 UConn travels to 0-5 UMass for the biggest game of the year.
164
1K
8K
7
222
4K
The dude screaming SHUT THE FUCK UP is my new favorite asmr
3
52
4K
Sometimes I just think of this image of Tom Hanks in cloud atlas. It brings me peace
48
329
3K
Quitting my easy as shit job as guitarist so I can focus on the real problem: the antifa menace in a country I don’t live in
Mumford and Sons lead guitarist and banjoist Winston Marshall recently came under scrutiny for his support of right-wing provocateur Andy Ngo. Now, he's leaving the band so he can "speak freely" about the "evils of political extremism."
534
187
928
20
135
3K
Anyone wanna see a clip from House that was considered OK at the time and is now very not OK
127
91
3K
In baseball, I think the ball should vary in size and the umpire reveals the size of the ball that day like the iron chef
20
376
3K
Nobodys posted this one yet, I fuckin howl laughing every time I remember it
19
185
3K
Ah someone spoiled the fun and it’s a clear fake post, but it’s a really good one. Hats off,
@atdanwhite
13
14
3K
Ah yes, this shot. The shot no one could ever forget, from the movie about cephalopodic aliens speaking English and teaching humans time travel
ARRIVAL (2016)
Cinematography by Bradford Young
Directed by Denis Villeneuve
Explore more shots in our database:
37
30
164
20
180
3K
It is Muppets canon that 9/11 wouldn't have happened if Kermit wasnt born
15
750
3K
@JDVance1
All evidence points to the exact opposite. Not even joking. This is maybe the wrongest thing anyone has ever posted
12
36
2K
People with adhd have object permanence, you can just call this disorganized without having to use terms you don’t understand
68
87
2K
Media literacy is at an all-time low when someone points out the IDF said X, and then someone else responds with “CNN said X too,” without adding “CNN said the IDF said”
8
201
2K
Ben Franklin, inventor of racism, died on his chamber pot. His last words were: I hate Philadelphia and hope no one thinks Im from there
20
504
2K
[MCU fans when a character called the Mountain King shows up while in the halls of the mountain king plays] GUYS YOURE NEVER GONNA FUCKIN BELIEVE THIS
5
69
2K
You gotta be a really bad writer to make up something this extraordinarily bad
25
57
2K
@eeberquist
I’ll also add two of my favorite Hell ones, which made it obvious Gary is petty sometimes
11
49
2K
Ok need you all to stop being so horny, you’re horny replying to a guy who posted a video of a woman. I can’t help you at all
19
28
2K
No idea why he wore this, but if I had to guess, he lost a bet
12
3
2K
@rachelmillman
Bought my dog son a ball launcher and all he does is stand in front of it and let it hit him in the face
25
199
2K
JOE ROHAN: you know I’ve heard a lot about how cool that ring is and how putting it on makes you really powerful
SMÉAGOL: that’s right, joe
14
196
2K
Just want to share this with you all. A triumph of engineering
38
267
2K
Idk how to tie this into the TikTok ban thing, I just wanna share this
11
236
2K
Lmfao
This is the most important line of
@RonanFarrow
's Musk piece. His power comes from the state's total failure to build basic infrastructure.
128
2K
6K
29
464
2K
Lil nas x wrote a song deliberately to trigger conservatives and they bit into the bait until the hook stabbed their brains
16
101
2K
What do you think the song Roxanne is about
To me, it’s about a woman who turns on a red light in the house regularly and the guy is saying hey, please don’t turn that on tonight, I don’t like it
49
56
2K
@bungarsargon
@metal_gear88
@elonmusk
Really love that you couldn’t get a quote from a blue collar worker because you don’t know any
1
13
2K
Why does a hockey player not swallow the puck whole and then skate full speed into the net
23
364
2K
@damienredicamn1
How bad is your life that the first and only person you can call in a kidnapping situation is your landlord who doesn’t even bother helping you
5
16
2K
This dude is like 60 years old, just got out of rehab for Benzos, and still tweets like a 20yo incel on Reddit
15
61
2K
JUST IN: NASA has successfully crashed a spacecraft into the moon of an asteroid as part of a test to see how it affects the motion of an asteroid in space
260
765
4K
4
151
2K
One of the best parts of 30 rock was that Liz lemon was a liberal who thought she was open minded but was really doing a bunch of virtue signaling and no better than donaghy
10
56
2K
Jesus Christ. Don is just handing him softballs and he’s acting like this is 60 minutes during the cigarette congressional hearings
7
88
2K
Look, you can be a film snob, you can hate marvel movies. An entire team of writers wrote like 30 movies, interwoven, and it all made sense. Even if it's mediocre content, that's an incredible thing
46
65
1K
What character NOT from the Marvel universe do you think would be worthy of wielding Mjolnir?
3K
113
2K
6
87
1K
this would've paid for 2/3rds of what's required to battle climate change lol
The world’s 500 richest people lost a combined $203 billion through the first 96 minutes of trading in the U.S
1K
1K
3K
8
237
1K