Adrian Dad
@StyloDad
Followers
6K
Following
68K
Media
468
Statuses
59K
https://t.co/shKPWS5UcB Dog ate my bio
Canada
Joined April 2020
I told my kids that they had enough Halloween candy and then I woke up in the oven
8
137
210
If you think about it, selling survival food that you can store for 25 years seems like a terrible business plan
8
12
65
🎯 You will probably get a bigger buck this year if you wear these shirts. It's science... we think...
0
0
2
That Beaver Supermoon won’t seem so enchanting, when you’re fighting off a werewolf with your selfie stick.
2
38
61
Beaver supermoon sounds like something you would see at a nude beach.
14
74
269
Sometimes all we can do is tell jokes when things aren’t okay because it makes us feel okay and that should be okay, okay?
11
44
134
My marriage is 50% love, 50% competitive parallel parking.
4
35
128
90s kids didn’t go to therapy. We just yelled “INSANE IN THE MEMBRANE” and kept it moving.
10
107
397
Big shout-out to my neighborhood for being too dangerous for Christmas caroling.
6
166
350
I get my best ideas in the middle of scalding hot showers… also my most insane, but never mind that.
8
9
55
I was never supposed to know, but after my parents died, I found out I was a Screen Gems Production.
5
30
68
If you’re into bad girls, I’m pretty bad at a lot of things… *winks with both eyes*
11
92
478
Ice Road Truckers, The Motion Picture: Icier, Roadier, and Truckier
3
25
72
I'm saving money on rent by moving into an abandoned cobweb
5
31
98
“Paris Hilton is the same age as me and she’s still incredibly hot,” I whisper as I light a candle in the cathedral.
3
11
53
I didn’t plan on using my extra hour to do wellness checks on my Canada sports friends, but here we are.
4
19
67
The weird sounds coming from the bedroom are just me trying on some jeans.
4
80
170
My husband just googled if Vlad Guerrero won a World Series and what?
5
2
14