Crank Soldier
@SoldierCrank
Followers
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Following
21K
Media
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Statuses
947
Avid zynner. PinkPantheress admirer. Twitter’s largest micro-influencer.
Joined September 2022
@DripMasterFlex1 Not dirty. Don’t have long hair if you don’t want it pulled. And I hate kerby as much as you fucks.
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@Ben55936384 @MNSPORTSWRLD @AndyS2504 @AvenueVikings @IMissWinning @BarryOnHere You are really really retarded if you actually think this lol.
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@SixersKyle @BleacherReport @On3sports Umm Kyle no amount of money would make me do this… everything okay at home??.
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@Maniax_19 @DripMasterFlex1 Is it your first year watching football? It used to be a penalty then they changed it. Hair is part of the uniform :).
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@SomethingEra2 @RotoSurgeon @SeifertESPN botched the reporting so bad everyone is saying this now SMH.
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@Meesalou @DinkytownDingus @bobnetherlands Well, Mary Ellen, I do not like you therefore I am now choosing to block you! Bob voyage!.
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@CFxtry @dklmarxist All you “own” is a piece of paper. You donate money to a billion dollar organization lol.
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@_MLFootball @ProFootballTalk “Different vision” yeah we won’t pay him 15 mil plus. Nobody should. Love the guy but he’s an aging white receiver with low upside.
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@ReXmattheWZ @BN_OTAKU @NFL @jjmccarthy09 @UpAndAdamsShow @Vikings You are dumb, stupid, uneducated, and a downright waste of space.
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@enzothebaker123 @Vikings @Minwoo27Lee @usbankstadium @GolfonCBS Too bad you don’t know how to spell skol. Yet another “L” for Enzo.
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Walked into my hometown bar and everyone clapped. Guess my 3 interceptions in 2014 weren’t forgotten 😎.
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@hbms_graduate @The_JBS Good point! I was a hardcore trumper until I played fallout new Vegas and gained class consciousness.
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@MsTikq @juggernaug115 @ua_9748987 To some it was. The unangax native people of the islands. What’s your problem? Just giving you the facts.
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Time to start putting women in football terms. She said yes to the date? That’s a first down. Uh oh she fucked your fucking best friend???? THATS A FUMBLE.
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@TheFalconer2219 @Ace12551 @upholdreality Buddy just learned the word rhetoric and wants to sound smart.
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@HonoluluBlues_ Yeah, he didn’t call plays. How hard is that for you to understand Honolulu Blue Balls?.
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Spending the weekend with the inlaws, awkward boners inbound.
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Just watched @DickBrisket get carted off the field after a nasty testicular injury #prayfordick.
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@JakeAndSports @AdamSchefter Yes the NFL should consider who owns the naming rights to a stadium before making decisions. You truly are an elite mind.
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@MsTikq @juggernaug115 @ua_9748987 Technically yeah. The Aleutian Islands off of Alaska were occupied by Japanese troops.
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Perfect day to get drunk and explain the intricacies of 3-4, 4-3, and nickel package defenses to women in my family.
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Mama I got hoop dreams 🏀 I’m either making it to the league or dying in the streets.
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It’s so cold out I could really go for a warm Reese’s penis butter cup.
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They fucked up giving a white boy like me a new PinkPantheress album.
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Had to make sure the boys got to bed. @chemtrails1965 only got halfway in his doorway but it’s a job well done!.
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My wife thinks my alcoholism has gotten out of control. Little does she know, I’m just getting started.
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The jets might be the most underrated team in the league. Time to join the bandwagon.
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Anyone wanna paint their balls like Easter eggs with me? Let’s get festive.
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GOD IS GOOD! I never thought I’d see the day I’m playing college football!! I’m taking my athleticism to Southern New Hampshire University (online).
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Apparently Monday afternoon Saratoga wasn’t a great first date idea….
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@the_det_times I have inside sources that say he won’t be ready til week 10. Apparent penis contusion.
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Why does society make me work when I could be at home playing with my knob all day.
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@PhilMackey @colemanfierst @colemanfierst Don’t let this goofball trick you, all he wants is to farm impressions with awful takes.
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I played a whole clash royale match without looking up from my phone while driving down the interstate today!.
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The packers are a poverty franchise. Best jets win since that day in 2001.
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@KdottFrmMN @R0mans1_22 @NFL_Super_Fan @the_det_times Go easy on them, they’ve been drinking lead water their whole lives.
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@LSimmerz @itmightbekd Your state takes more from the federal government than you give to it. The definition of a welfare state!.
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Spreading conspiracy theories at the local Perkins with @Lsimersforreal and an associate that would like to remain anonymous.
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@JeffStottlemyer @MySportsUpdate Jeff, respectfully, nobody would care if you disappeared forever.
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Walking around my hometown wearing my letter jacket wondering if the kids these days remember the time I sent our JV football team to state with a 300+ yard performance.
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She let me hit bc of my childlike curiosity and my unwillingness to leave.
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None of my kids wanted to watch the wild game with me tonight. Probably a good thing because it’s making me drink 🍺.
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@drewscardshop @MySportsUpdate Oh is this the year you take the north and never give it back?.
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As a legally blind “slow learner” I could probably run a defensive scheme better than the Vikings.
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This beer is starting to taste like I should get involved in the Syrian civil war.
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The Vikings are gonna make me relapse on weed, booze, amphetamines, downers, barbiturates, lean, coke, addy, and crack.
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I’m one Dr Pepper away from recreating the atrocities made famous by Mao Zedong.
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If I dropped everything and practice 24/7 I’d be in the mlb in a MONTH.
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In tears my roommate admitted that he has relapsed on the pot. He promised he’d never touch it again. Am I the asshole for kicking him off the lease?.
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