I know a bad tweet when I write one

Nailed It...♑️🐐

If they’re going to make us use self-checkout, they could at least put the bar code in the same place for every product.

Hitting snooze like who dis bitch think she is.

THAT was only Monday? Well shit.

Welcome to 50....if you think you're done peeing...no your not

Columbus Day is just a made up holiday to sell more Christophers.

I’m bored *opens twitter* *closes twitter* *opens twitter* *closes twitter* *opens twitter* *closes twitter* *opens twitter* *closes twitter* *opens twitter* *closes twitter* *opens twitter* *closes twitter* *opens twitter* *closes twitter* *opens twitter* *closes twitter*

You’re not meant to be for everyone.

Me: I need a haircut Her: No you don't Guess I'm a hippie now. ☮️✌️

I need a Shazam for people’s names.

Going as a sexy dissappointment for Halloween.

capricorn don’t need anger management, they just need people to stop pissing them off.

The best workout is the one you can stick with

Unpolished edges. Unbreakable spirit. Unstoppable energy.

Someone go put my laundry in the dryer

“You rock” implies “you paper”, “you scissors”

Good morning 💋

It’s all happening. Everything you’ve ever wanted is already set in motion, just by the sheer act of your desire. Everything always works out for you. You’re on the right path and everything is flowing toward wellbeing and abundance. Now get out there and act like it.

https://t.co/oyru9h6BN9

Every little thing she does is magic ✨️