Getting married to a DJ means I’ll never hear the end of a song ever again.

Next Monday March 9th at 7:15pm in The Main Room see @MermaidComedyHr x Facial Recognition Comedy Women’s History Month show ft. Sasheer Zamata, @asabrinawu @PallaviGunalan @FizaaDosani @ReallyZahra @valerie_tosi @kariassad & more! Get Tickets at https://t.co/2zDeuaxUJc

Is blasting Sean Paul's "We Be Burnin'" insensitive or hilarious at this time? Asking for a friend 🫢

We’re back this Tuesday 6/18 at 8pm at @TheComedyStore !! Show info: https://t.co/JDyGAootQj

Statement from Melania Trump supporting her beloved husband:

#BREAKING: LA County has declared a state of emergency to get vital supplies and resources to locals faster during the storm. https://t.co/Timpi0d6zZ

Y’all better come!!!

Y’all better come to this!!!

South Asians back @TheComedyStore! Oct 19th at 8pm with a killer liner up! get your tickets now! https://t.co/dQBwfSPGxu

Saw Oppenheimer on IMAX last night. Good movie. But was it worth the $50 and holding it in for 3 hours? No.

It seems like the whole point of the new season of And Just Like That… was to flame the dumpster fire the series has become. We’re all just masochists holding onto this series hoping the SATC franchise will redeem itself.

I had a sitcom I created about my life. I was not the highest paid actor. I was not the highest paid writer. The show was named after me. People ask why I haven’t done created another show. Sometimes I get close but then remember how I was treated and I stick to stand-up.

Of all the annoying billionaires to sink in a submarine, they couldn’t take one of the Kardashians down there?

There’s nothing like a looming deadline that will send me down a gluttonous binge of memes and viral SNL clips.

As a woman in her thirties, I feel really out of place at parties now. I went to a wild house party over the weekend. The guys were already passed out on the floor and the girls were running around topless. They were also all under the age of 2.

We had to share fun facts about ourselves on a work call today. The LA native complained about the weather. Who is going to tell this person gloomy weather is not a novel experience? READ THE ROOM, LINDA.

Not a single comedian hating on @mattrife is hotter than him.

It’s 2 years later and none of the multi-millionaire geniuses I met on @Clubhouse have followed through on their promises to me send me their guides on how to be a successful entrepreneur, influencer, mindfulness life coach, thought leader guru.

Y’all! Tuesday night is the first time we’re bringing @FacialRecComedy to @TheComedyStore so make sure you don’t miss it! Get your tickets now! This is the best deal in Hollywood. @FizaaDosani @PallaviGunalan @melshoshahi @shitfromkiran @Subhah

https://t.co/Tp2HLxZgSV