Sarah Phelps
@PhelpsieSarah
Followers
44,064
Following
3,897
Media
2,487
Statuses
111,377
Screenwriter. Pervert. BBC Monster. Befuddler of Lord Sugar. Broken, sweaty ape. @phelpsiesarah .bsky.social
Joined March 2014
Don't wanna be here?
Send us removal request.
Explore trending content on Musk Viewer
Pedro Sánchez
• 391126 Tweets
Wizkid
• 298053 Tweets
woozi
• 218755 Tweets
Wasit
• 171005 Tweets
Scotland
• 112930 Tweets
#TimnasDay
• 76865 Tweets
Uzbek
• 76661 Tweets
Thiago Silva
• 73152 Tweets
#محمد_بن_سلمان
• 55526 Tweets
Mufasa
• 53318 Tweets
Jerome
• 39138 Tweets
The Lion King
• 37756 Tweets
Arhan
• 25257 Tweets
Blue Ivy
• 23456 Tweets
Rock in Rio
• 19071 Tweets
Medina
• 18725 Tweets
ドラゴンボール
• 18189 Tweets
Ridho
• 16634 Tweets
ARMY ARE FOREVER BEHIND BTS
• 16106 Tweets
Sananta
• 14272 Tweets
Qちゃん
• 11901 Tweets
Barry Jenkins
• 11517 Tweets
鈴木千裕
• 11258 Tweets
Gajadi
• 10615 Tweets
GRACIE
• 10475 Tweets
His poor wife. How fucking humiliating and horrible.
485
688
23K
Fuck - and I simply cannot stress this enough - off.
Police boss criticised after saying women "need to be streetwise" about powers of arrest
312
168
780
132
2K
17K
Fuck off.
Opinion: Let’s try “Dry Covid” – lockdown is the time to kick our national alcohol habit for good
2K
145
599
261
1K
14K
200 wankers whinging about my beautiful first born child Johannes, you’re blessed these two grace your grunting muddy existence. Now shit off and let all the children boogie,
289
989
13K
Lewis Capaldi being held aloft by the crowd as his tics overwhelmed him is massive, so important. really beautiful. Nobody would have got that a few years ago, would they? this love, care, kindness, understanding, this matters so much. We inch forward, we do, despite all. ❤️
69
622
13K
My smashing brother is having an assessment this morning and if he passes, he’ll be driving a bin lorry which will s an essential service and I’m really proud of him.
95
108
8K
Three. Billion.
Tories face legal challenge over £3bn of 'missing' coronavirus contracts
74
1K
2K
73
2K
8K
Fucking hell.
294
2K
7K
I've got a fucking name, you wankers
74
457
7K
Anyway, that’s a story about my darling silly 3 legged lurcher. She just knows. My other dog is a sociopath tho. She knows but she don’t care. Here’s Beulah the sweetheart. ❤️❤️❤️
251
72
7K
Private Eye were all over the Horizon scandal (and Fujitsu's other catastrophic HGM contracts) like a rash from the off. Private Eye are terriers, they dig and dig, they latch on and they don't let go. get yourselves a subscription, mates. The work matters. It really matters.
If only you had a Private Eye subscription hey lads…but at least we know you watch the telly
(The TV show was superb BTW, massive congrats to everyone involved…but FFS it’s been 10+ years of this horrendous scandal destroying innocent lives)
30
272
2K
72
1K
6K
My darling mum died at 3 minutes past 1 this morning. God but cancer is so remorseless but at the very very end, it was gentle, she was at home and we were all with her. We loved her so very much. Go well across the shining river. Go well.
704
38
6K
When this shit is over, remember the brands who did the right thing and fuck the ones who didn’t.
.
@LOCCITANE_UK
are paying their staff while they are closed.
@homebargains
have put together a £30 million fund to make sure their staff are paid up until December. Meanwhile Jabba the Hut Philip Green has laid off
@Topshop
staff without any pay. No redundancy, holiday. Wanker.
213
2K
10K
60
997
5K
Mates, I haven’t smoked a cigarette for 363 days. THREE HUNDRED AND SIXTY THREE DAYS.
222
21
5K
Sandria's a cunt.
This is Sandra. Sandra is so FUCKING ANGRY she's perfectly fine with kids dying!
Don't be like Sandra.
916
1K
5K
179
442
5K
Put bees in charge.
This image was sent to me with explanation that the keeper forgot to put the frames in so bees built as they felt fit. Airflow/temp regulation!
Bees know best. A maze Zing. Beautiful
#BeekeepersHour
312
11K
42K
30
602
4K
wanking and cocaine
Look at your bodies, women! Breasts, ovaries, and a womb. God created you for the magnificent job of creating and nourishing new life! What can be more important than this?!?!
3K
99
930
77
444
4K
Mates, just been to local Italian with entire fam for my mums 80th. Everyone there sings Happy Birthday when the cake comes out.. Rick Astley is in restaurant which means RICK ASTLEY JUST SANG TO MY MUM. I tell her this. She says ‘who?’ Sake.
75
123
4K
I want this team to fucking win so all those tiny sour shits who spat rheum on them taking the knee have to praise them like they should.
38
176
4K
Fuck you, Philip Green and Arcadia. You piece of absolute shit.
77
351
4K
it was a fucking vigil.
my rage is hotter than a thousand suns.
41
236
4K
I am never not going to feel wall-eyed blood curdling fury at this being done to us, to this country. for ambition, for regulatory bonfires & rabid cupidity, for spit frothing ideology. fuck them. and get that cunt Farage off my telly.
57
410
4K
Kathy Burke.
Amazon has added a 'Samuel L. Jackson' voice option for Alexa.
What other celebrities would you like to see added to Alexa?
1K
122
626
121
212
4K
Oooh the placement. It burnsssss
"Everyone try and look happy for the PM's final Cabinet photo"
2K
734
7K
191
214
4K
And only a few short days ago we were cunts for not going to Pret.
21
218
4K
Bloody hell!!
The Sixth Commandment review – as immaculate a piece of TV as you will ever see | Television | The Guardian
323
226
4K
Here is a very sad but sweet story; so yesterday I took Beulah my 3 legged rescue lurcher to the vets for a dental. We’re there early but everyone is tense and suddenly a man and his late teens son come in with a beautiful big Airedale collapsed on n the mans arms..
165
400
3K
Back in the late 70s and 80s, we'd walk down the street with my cousin Andy & people would shout at us. Things would get thrown at us. At him. My sweet, gentle cousin.
But look at this. This is completely wonderful. He's completely wonderful. George, you absolute superstar.
🚨EXCITING NEWS🚨
Our NEW CBeebies House presenter, George will be starting soon! ❤️
He loves cooking and dancing, and he can't wait to be your friend.
🥘🕺🤗
1K
4K
32K
49
194
3K
hello. today, I did my first Couch to 5k "run" *
I have sustained an SERIOUS ATHLETIC INJURY
i am NOT SVELTE.
but I did it and 18 months ago I smoked 60 a day so.
*sweaty grunting stumble
also, i am now having a gin.
128
19
3K
🔥🔥🔥 Polish women entirely fucking done with this shit 🔥🔥🔥
In Poland, millions of women across the country are striking after the government banned abortion. Refusing to go to work, drive, cook at home, or do anything until the ban is dropped. Poland's President today indicated they may have to change or reverse the law. ✊🏼
955
52K
176K
31
401
3K
DAY 68 OF NO CIGARETTES
I genuinely can't believe that I've done this. you can't overestimate my reliance on camel blues. i didn't think i;d ever chalk up 5 days, let alone 68. fucking hell. i'm proper chuffed.
168
13
3K
genuinely, hand on heart, what's the fucking point of lobbing soup over Van Gogh.
232
94
3K
And thanks to all of you, those who enjoyed it and those who didn’t. See you next time when I rewrite Pride and Prejudice in a crack den. You’re all lovely. A bientot, mes enfants.
#TheABCMurders
224
143
3K
Cunty.
If Mark Francois was the eighth dwarf what would his name be?
3K
255
783
164
199
3K
I haven’t smoked a cigarette for 200 days. TWO. HUNDRED. DAYS.
164
10
3K
My mum lives 3 hours away from me. People in her road have left their numbers through her door in case she needs groceries. Her neighbour put a Sunday dinner up for her on a tray & left it on her porch. People are fucking gorgeous. Thank you, Mum’s neighbours.
14
57
3K
stop asking Thomas Markle anything. Leave Meghan alone, you absolute fucking ghouls.
14
174
3K
sure my mentions are gonna be a mess but I'm genuinely moved by his delighted grin, I don't see how you can't be when you think back to that small boy walking behind his mothers coffin, the cynosure of all eyes. & I stan Meghan & Mail readers are seething so yay!
Prince Harry announced that his wife Meghan, the Duchess of Sussex, had given birth to a baby boy, saying "’we're both absolutely thrilled".
Read more about the new
#RoyalBaby
here:
208
709
5K
80
158
3K
they’ve never been inside a school have they.
"I would be very comfortable with my children going back (to school) in a safe environment, with social distancing."
@BrandonLewis
says the government is working closely with schools to ensure they can reopen "in a safe and appropriate way".
#Breakfast
204
10
68
130
289
2K
hello and welcome to future me.
I’ve no idea of the origins of this but this wonderful lady made me laugh so much, I want to share the joy. We need a little titter and I hope this 29 second clip brightens up your day.
609
6K
22K
50
420
3K
This. Anti-depressants gave me my life back. Asking for help took me so long, I was so ashamed of needing help & but thank god for SSRIs. Please, if you're having a difficult time, don't be like me & leave it. please don't be ashamed. x
68
551
2K
God, I was driving and the news came on and my eyes went hot. I hope there were good dogs on her bed.
30
41
2K
Naga is absolutely done with this shit.
Govt minister Chris Philp is asked if what Rishi Sunak said yesterday was respectful. He avoids the question. He is then confronted with what Briannas father said about Sunaks words.
#BBCBreakfast
410
933
3K
71
229
2K
A pair of goldfinches on the feeder by the back door and I stood in the kitchen hardly breathing so I didn’t scare them off and mates, the elation. The euphoria at seeing the goldfinches.
101
27
2K
Do you know who would be absolutely loving this? Agatha. And it’s amazing, really, that the character to fire the nation up should be Hercule. Job done. I’m proud.
193
60
2K
Fucking hell. You despicable shits.
Grenfell files ‘lost forever’ after laptop wiped, inquiry hears
2K
5K
5K
44
261
2K
Oh god do I watch the PM addressing the nation or do I just inject meth into my temples.
85
65
2K
Look who I just picked up from hospital! The magic of IV fluids and All The Good Drugs. God I’m so relieved 😍😍😍
77
17
2K
PLACED A CHILD IN ISOLATION FOR WEARING SUPERMARKET VERSION OF SCHOOL UNIFORM
EXCUSE ME WHAT THE FUCK
Holderness Academy has defended placing a child in isolation for wearing the supermarket version, insisting parents were made aware of the policy in June.
1K
795
3K
76
326
2K
for all the pearl clutchers honking about the fucking ploughman's lunch, it was invented in the 50s as a marketing strategy. it's not a cathedral or stone fucking henge, if it was, your pack of cunts would probably plough a fucking road through it. now shit off.
62
166
2K
I've succumbed to the Lakeland heated clothes rail. I've even bought it a cover. and pegs. I've never felt so alive.
209
37
2K
Everyone involved in this, in front of and behind the camera, is outstanding. I’m proud of this. I hope you’ll watch. It’s a brutal story but an important one.
#TheSixthCommandment
141
232
2K
Look, I've suddenly got loads more followers and I just want to warn you that when shit isn't kicking off in my mentions, I am well boring and it's mainly dog pics, swearing and cooking fuck ups. you can't say you weren't told. x
139
21
2K
Last year, George Eustice claimed just shy of £200,000 in expenses.
Environment secretary George Eustice on how families can deal with soaring food costs: “Generally speaking, what people find is by going for some sort of value brand rather than own branded products they can actually contain and manage their household budget.”
1K
683
2K
37
743
2K
And so it begins....
#ThePaleHorse
Rufus Sewell (
@FredrikSewell
) is the widowed antique dealer troubled by witches, in
@PhelpsieSarah
new adaptation of Agatha Christie's
#ThePaleHorse
- coming
@BBCOne
in 2020 -
60
133
800
154
119
2K
@Jacob_Rees_Mogg
so... we've got all this power and influence? Cool!
ya big old saucy tax-dodger.
9
98
2K
Twat Nest.
BREAKING: Laurence Fox, Nigel Farage and Toby Young announce they are opening a bank. What should they call it?
2K
92
532
118
141
2K
Sometimes you fry an egg for tea and it’s so astonishingly delicious you wonder why you eat anything else.
86
46
2K
The entire fucking country’s in a ket hole.
“The bongs cost £500,000… but we’re working up a plan so that people can bung a bob for a Big Ben bong”
Boris Johnson says “we need to restore the clapper, in order to bong Big Ben on Brexit night, and that is expensive”
#BBCBreakfast
2K
367
1K
67
213
2K
Hey. Hey people. Hey, Pals. day 28 of no cigarettes.
DAY 28.
123
8
2K
TWENTY YEARS AGO
I remember writing the line and thinking 'I am NEVER going to get away with this' but I did and Charlie Brooks just CRUSHED it.
#EastEnders
#Janine4Eva
#sliponshoes
40
110
2K
So now, get up.
Vale, Hilary Mantel. Go well across the shining river.
That sleek, scything, muscular mind, that dark & brilliant wit. Her sniper's eye for the tiny, fluttering detail. The humanity. The stories. The words. What a writer, what an artist.
Devastating news. Vale.
29
285
2K
today, my beloved brother
@phelps965
is clean & sober for 11 years. he was saying that back then, he doubted he'd get a single clean day. he's got 11 years. So proud of him, his courage, tenacity & humility. if ur battling addiction, i hope this helps a little. U can do this. x
25
34
2K
So if Sunak is stopping GPs from assessing if people are too sick to work and handing that responsibility to contractors, who is getting the contract and how much do they donate and did they give the PM a ride in their helicopter
23
334
2K
One complaint. One. Let’s just say that again. One. Complaint.
70
405
2K
today I ran for 6 minutes. i know it's puny but i wouldn't have managed that when I was smoking.
94
7
2K
I never thought I would ever say this about a conservative MP but my admiration and respect for the fearless
@Anna_Soubry
is off the scale. Send your flying monkeys, I do not give a shit. Go Anna. Drag them. Drag them all. 🔥🔥🔥
Conservative MP
@Anna_Soubry
says government's Brexit White Paper "is in tatters" because
@Jacob_Rees_Mogg
and a small cabal of MPs are running the country
#r4today
235
651
1K
44
299
2K
Boris Johnson's a bit fucking quiet right now. I've got a nasty feeling.
79
107
2K
the fuck is going on with littering? this is ... new and strange? 186% increase in Mum's local park where deer are raising fawns, my brother says the lakes where he keeps an eye on fish & birdlife are infested with plastic shit& disposable bbqs.. take ur shit home u fucks!
64
164
2K
My dear, darling, wonderful, brilliant friend.
Friday Night Dinner star Paul Ritter dies of brain tumour at 54
1K
4K
22K
74
10
2K
Serena is DONE with your absolute SHIT. 👑👑👑🔥🔥🔥
Serena Williams when asked about taking a break from fighting for equality.
#Wimbledon
- ESPN
286
6K
22K
19
190
2K
When my mum was 80 we took her for a posh lunch with all the family. Rick Astley was in the same place & when they bought Mum's cake out & we sang Happy Birthday, Rick joined in. So basically, Rick forever.
and this is so fucking great. G'wan son. Batter those skins.
28
81
2K
oh pals, this just floored me.
There was a baby chimp born at The Sedgwick County Zoo, the baby had to be put on oxygen for a few days. This is a clip of it being reintroduced to its mother for the first time.
3K
55K
396K
47
209
2K
thinking on Mo Mowlam a lot today, how she ws being treated for a brutal cancer during negotiations for
#GoodFridayAgreement
that story when there was this terrible impasse & she took off her wig & her naked chemo scalp was such a rebuke, the impasse broke.
23
115
2K
DRAG THEM, ALEX!!!’
Here’s
@AlexScott
reminding us all that 4 yrs ago when women’s football needed larger stadia, many clubs said NO
They know who they are!!
157
2K
10K
10
92
2K
I was a bit of a dick about doing the speed awareness course but I haven’t stopped thinking about it. Shocked by how much I drive like a stressy careless twat. Thinking about doing an advanced course or something like that so I’m not a car-twat.
141
35
2K
And right at the bottom of the list.. don’t mind me, just over here breathing into a fucking bag!
116
22
2K
The pubs we were given financial incentives to go to? Those pubs?
What is behind the rise in coronavirus infections across the north of England?
Health Minister Edward Argar says social distancing isn’t being followed and thinks people going to the pub has fuelled it. RC
#KayBurley
279
71
186
23
253
1K