Thick Madame
@MaataVermillion
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Medical Doctor || SRH & Mental health enthusiast | Anime and African prose ❤️|| Edo 👑 | 5'3 ||
Onigashima
Joined November 2019
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Last Seen Profiles
Imagine leaving for the airport 11hrs early to confuse your village people, only to come on Twitter and see your cousin alerting them😭
My cousin is traveling to the UK tonight, flight leaves at 10pm but she left for the airport around 11am 😂😂
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Marrying someone from the same culture/country is very important cos I need to know we have the same priorities.
Not the one you’ll say we should use our life’s savings for our dog’s surgery🤲🏻
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Ladies and Gentlemen, the person making the dress I'm meant to collect today
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I won’t sleep with your husband, no matter how much he disturbs me
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Kind of disingenuous to refer to him as “Louis Vuitton CEO”, like that’s enough to make him the richest.
He’s CEO of LVMH ; An empire that includes Louis Vuitton, Moët & Chandon, Hennessy, Sephora, Christian Dior, Fendi, Givenchy, Marc Jacobs, Stella McCartney, Bulgari etc.
Louis Vuitton CEO Bernard Arnault, overtakes Elon Musk to become the world's richest person.
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Those planning to use Zobo as contraceptive, please ensure the moi-moi at the naming ceremony is very spicy, I don’t like bland food 🙏🏼
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"Don't forget, this photo has no filter, and I am so beaurifuul"
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Me to little child: "sweetie could you squeeze your hand tight" or "could you show me your power"
Child:
Parent to child: "make a fist darling"
Child: *makes fist*
Me:
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No use hoarding palliatives 🙈
God really outdid Himself when he crafted this face, because what!!!
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You left plates for your mum to wash but she blamed an innocent girl?
Let this be the last time you ever ask anybody to walk with you🫵🏼
Fareeda I use to think I didn't care about these things but something happened long time ago while I was in the dating pool.This babe followed me to the family house and it was only mumcy around. The kids all were out so mumcy dished food for us
Walk with me
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Your WCW has satisfied the examiners in Medicine, Surgery and Community medicine!!!!
I AM A MEDICAL DOCTOR you guys!!!!😭😭
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First week of 400L
Consultant: *asks question*
Me: “I don’t know sir”
C: *asks the girl next to me*
Her: “I don’t know either sir”
C: “That one is beautiful (*points to me*) so she can get away with not having stuff, but YOU cannot”
Double homicide
What’s the funniest/worst insult you received/ heard about during medical school?
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You guyyyyyyyyyyyys
Just found out this Man and I are RELATED!!!
Look at God Y’all, what if he’d said yes
Uwese baba ooo🤲🏻
Slid in a man’s DMs for the first time in this lifetime and the next💆🏽♀️alas, no road🤲🏻
I did not die sha😂😂
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Hope say una nor count me 👀
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Today, I'm being inducted into the Medical and Dental council of Nigeria(MDCN)..
It is 100% official!!!
Dr Martha. O. Orbih MB;BS ABUAD
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If Sanwo-olu shows up to do his usual performative photo-op in front of that elevator, you people should try and pour water on him
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Once you ask a babe for a Photo, she’ll select a 10/10 stunner.. putting her best foot forward and making you salivate
Ask a Nigerian man for picture and watch him send you one unflattering selfie that shows the inside of his nose 😭
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My Final year project is currently published in a journal with various names (none of which are mine), including my supervisor’s husband who doesn’t even work at my school 🙃
One country is putting medical students on publications to boost their chances in applications, another country is stealing the final year projects of their medical students and publishing it as their own original work 💀
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@iamGiftedstill
@meonimisi
My wife and kids was waaaaaaay funnier, no contest.
But Black-ish tackles a lot of present day societal issues 🤔..
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Cheers to my best year yet 🍾🥂 Happy birthday to Meeeee! 🎉🎂🎈🎁
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Agreed
But Sweet potato fries is their Daddy's daddy >>>>
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I just called him to confirm and he truly hasn't started making the dress and now his hand has been spiritually attacked.
Something I told him is for a ceremony tomorrow 🙃
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It’s past 4pm?
After 1 year of continuous shege..
Say hello to the latest unemployed MO💃🏽💃🏽💃🏽💃🏽💃🏽💃🏽
I may be a House officer today, but that’s why I love tomorrow ..
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Patient: I actually wanted to be a doctor when I was younger. Infact, two of my siblings are doctors, one is a Consultant Peadiatrician.
Me: Wow! It’s not too late for you to join them
Patient: Hmmm.. well, then again, I’m richer than all of them combined
Me :
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The “accept you’ll never see this kind of wealth” takes are very odd tbh
It’s not like it’s a video of her family’s fleet of Ferraris or their mansions.
She shopped designer and flew First class, why should that be unattainable in your lifetime?
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Need the gynaecologists on this app to be as noisy as septicians
I know nobody owes anybody anything
But there are women using Postinor for regular contraception ffs!
Stand up and help your community😩
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@Chef_Kachi
It's a man ooo😭 and he said he woke up this morning and just found the hand wasn't working
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#Bridgerton
Penelope: "You've sworn off women then?"
Colin: "well, for the time being"
Penelope: "I..am a woman"
Colin: "You are Pen, YOU DO NOT COUNT"
Penelope: "Of course, your friend..how good to hear that"
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Ah yes..That part where the Obstetrician uses the green armytage forceps to grab the Hb S gene and strangle it😍
@kunle_pata
@MizCazorla1
I know someone who is AS and married AS but all his three children are AA. Although they were all born through CS.
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Finally summoned enough courage to do this. Please support me🥺
I'm an aspiring Face Model in Benin-city, & Available for collaboration with brands including Make up artistes, Photographers & Content creators anywhere in Benin-city & Abuja.
Pls RT this if you see it abeg🙏🥺
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I’ve gone down the Rufus and Ejiro rabbit hole guys😭
Why does Benin pidgin/accent make everything sound sweeter 💯 😍🤭🤣
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Everyone is laughing about common knowledge now, but one medical student somewhere is currently telling his chiefs the answer is Asherman syndrome 😭
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Dear future LOML
Please note that this is how I want you to ask me out. Thank you🙏🏼
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Medical student:.. LMP was 10/12/19.. Patient is nulliparous
Consultant:are you sure you clerked this patient
Student:Yes sir
Consultant: *turns to patient* How many times have you been pregnant
Patient: I've had 4 aboshans, last one was a year ago,no period since then.
Student:
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All jokes aside, Medical school shredded my self-esteem and confidence
Went from an intelligent 16 year old who wanted to take over the world to a tired adult who cringes at the very thought of residency training cos it’ll be more of the same
What’s the funniest/worst insult you received/ heard about during medical school?
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When I remember I now suffer from PCOS, Endometriosis, and Salpingitis thanks to the Fresh Yo and Shortbread I ate during my last period
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When you’re importing baddies, you won’t tell us
After baddie runs way with flight money, we can’t have peace?😭
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It took 1hr to get this girl out of the elevator?!
Stretcher, neck collar, O2 , blood etc should have already been in place
Ortho, neurosurg should have been waiting outside
No one could set central line? The hospital doesn’t have anaesthesiology team on call??This is maddening
You had one hour to get ready for this emergency!!! No one could get blood, no oxygen, no one on ground could set central line. The consultant didn’t think of neck collar for the patient until a HO suggested it. When the patient got there that’s when you now start looking for
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5 Female doctors standing in a group; all wearing ward coats with "Doctor" boldly written, over corporate outfits or scrubs
Patient: Nurse! NURSE!!! Aunty Nurse!
Male orderly/attendant wearing scrubs walks by
Patient: Doctorrrrr!
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Not like I’m jealous or anything, but sometimes I just stare at my friends who found LOML in early Uni days and I wonder how it feels to be God’s favorite?
Didn’t have to kiss no frogs, nothing, just you and the person that loves you, imperfect but committed to being together…
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The Doctor will see you now.. and then maybe later when we outside?? Idk 🤭
TGIF 💃🏽
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I don go over-inform Informed consent, now Patient don pack bag go house say e nor dey do surgery again
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Men will know you 48hrs and declare you’re everything they’re looking for in a woman
Awon “you tick all my boxes”
Me wey dey craze?
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I didn’t enjoy tax payer subsidies ooo
My Father spent millions on my education
Nobody should play with me
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I will still snatch Tunde the chess guy from that girl😒
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Cardiologists and Gastroenterologists right now
Okro regulates blood pressure. Forget Amlodipine and Nifedipine.
Garlic and honey will eliminate your Ulcer. Worked for my dad.
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Nigerian doctors coming online to see Y’all brokeshaming their official car
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I’m so happy I was single during HJ
I once had a 24-hr call so busy that the food I brought from home went bad. I didn’t sleep a wink
Patient’s father even went “doctor you’re sleeping” when my eyes were closing taking he
Imagine dating someone then and they tell you this😂
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Revenge cheating just means you never had any principles to begin with.
No self-respecting person is doing that when they can just leave.
Me I can’t be a big person oh, if you cheat on me I MUST cheat back. Full measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over 🤩🤩
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Chapter 24!! 🥳🥳🥳
Older, wiser and more self-aware..
Hopefully coming into the best time of my life 🙏
Happy birthday to Me 😊
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Me when I see people that know Neuroanatomy
@drkeithsiau
Small anterior horn means no plexus is emerging from here
So can't be C5-T1 nor lumbosacral plexus level.
I see lateral Horn which houses intermediolateral nucleus...C8-L3
So by exclusion, it leaves Thoracic level below T1
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Junior surgery posting VS Last day of Senior Surgery Posting (By the special Grace 🙏)
#MedTwitter
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It’s the weekend 💃🏽
I’m not the Doctor on call
I’m the Dr on call’s friend
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I’ve been so upset all day. I’ve cried, I’ve slept, I’ve cried again
I did not know Dr Vwaere, but this tragedy has touched my entire being
This entire country just irritates me
God rest her soul 🕯️
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@FEMMY466
Dyg😭 they made it seem like LV alone is the source and I’ve known about this guy for a long time, so I was irritated
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Life hack: If dealing with mental health issues of any kind, step into a teaching hospital near you, open card, and ask to see a Psychiatrist .
You get to spill your guts to a Pro, get a diagnosis, prescription for meds (if warranted) and follow-up, all for like 1k per session
It’s been exactly one year since I had a preliminary call with a therapist and in the process of stating my problems, I started crying. Next thing I heard was “I charge 500k for 3 sessions”
water dry comot for my eyes 🤣
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This is the happiest day of my life 🥺😭😭
Somebody's son has found me ooo💃
Good luck to the rest of you💁♀️
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Merry Christmas from Me and MINE to you and yours 🥰🥂
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So I presented Spinal bifida today..
You see why I'm always advocating for Preconceptional care💁
By the time you miss your period and confirm your pregnancy and start swallowing Folic acid like tic tacs, the spine that will bifid af already bifid💁🚶
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There are people that are serious in this life sha. Cos why is a Med student that hasn't started Clinicals coming to stay with us in this hospital during her holiday ffs 😭
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Checked my fridge and discovered variety is infact the spice of life >>>
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"You're a doctor? Wow! I've always wanted to marry a doctor " 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩
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@omonna14
If he gets the phone plus your yansh, that’s a measly 60k for your yansh ooo😭 nor gree , he’s a big thief
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The concept of Morbidity-Mortality review is so wild. SR will review, stamp diagnosis, make plan, consultant go fine tune am, na consultant get patient ooo..
But come M&M, one innocent underpaid and overworked JR will sit on hot seat to defend decisions above his pay grade
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"..We will now entertain questions, comments and clarifications..starting from the medical students"
Medical students:
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15/16 years is grownup? God abeg😭🙏🏼
Anyway
My older siblings followed me for JAMB
My mum and sister followed me to the university
My mum followed me for Housejob
If you don’t want to support your own children, that’s perfectly fine
Today is Jamb examination, I don't know why parents follow a grown up to the exam centre. will you follow them to the university when they finally gain admission? Which kind of parenting style is that one?
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"Be a doctor for babies and for woman delivery so that you can have time for your family"
-An ignorant man I did not ask, this early morning 🙃
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Omooooooor but these my classmates are good..
Stuff opoooooor 😭😭😭😭🙌🙌🙌🙌
4 distinctions in Medicine, 3 in Surgery!!
1 in Commed ,
not to mention the 13!!!!! in Paediatrics and the one in pharmacology and shii😍
Look at God 😭🙌👏👏
Congratulations guys 🥰🥰👏👏
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Hiya
#MedTwitter
🖐️your fav medics are here😁
Say hello to the Squad guys🥺🥺
It's our last day of clinical activities as med students 💃
P.S: hold off on the congratulations abeg we never graduate ooo😩. We never even write exam👀
Just pray for us and enjoy our JPEGs 🤭😘
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XY MBBS not participating in these talks cos they know they can just lie “just found out I’m on call for the next two days babe,
I’m so sorry”
“ABC, I enjoyed spending time with you these past few days, I wish I could extend your stay but my energy right now is low and I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable with my moodiness. Can I get you an Uber?”
Things to note:
- Tone is important
- Be reassuring
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@oka4or
Well, there may have been valid reasons why she needed to give it some thought💁♀️
If you turned her down because yous genuinely lost interest, that's very understandable, but if it was just a pride thing, that's weird..
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