Bonjour Le Masi
@ife_md
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Bsc phy, MB;BS. GOD ABOVE EVERYTHING. CFC. Always keeping it simple. Medicine is life. Academic Tutor. I do not identify as a medical doctor on this app.
Joined December 2014
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Cockroaches in the middle of the night after spraying them with Bagan instead of Baygon:
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See how nobody is doubting her story
But when someone gives a testimony of God’s mercy and greatness,
You’ll see the reaction.
And what makes it worse is people who say they believe in God and love God will join them.
I tried casting a spell on a man that offended me, but his mother's prayers stopped me -- Lady
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What’s the funniest/worst insult you received/ heard about during medical school?
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If this Chief do CPR for you, your Ejection fraction fit enter 200%
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*Wardround *
(After spending 3 hours on the ward)
Conso: so what does this X-ray say ?…..nobody ?
If you don’t answer this question we will end the ward round now
Med student: Sir..
House Officer:
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Internal medicine doctors after spending 8 hours on ward rounds come online and see someone say there’s minimal critical thinking in medicine
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You haven’t met Medical students.
You cannot sleep late and expect to wake up early. You cannot cheat nature
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“S1 S2 heard” - someone who didn’t see the patient with a stethoscope.
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If you’re reading this, I just want you to know Jesus loves you ☺️
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“I never read anything”
Somebody who has not only covered the syllabus but is prepared to add “studies have shown” in his essay.
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As a Doctor you can enter tech
As a tech bro you can’t enter Medicine
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First Urology clinic:
Me: *asks question about the prostate*
Conso: explain the lymphatic drainage of the prostate
Me:*speaks from the heart*
Conso: Define Pus for me
Me: Pus is a fluid containing…
Conso: *Cuts in* That’s exactly what came out from your mouth :
Me:
What’s the funniest/worst insult you received/ heard about during medical school?
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Just two medical students greeting themselves in front of the exam hall.
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This Bowen Admin deserves a raise tbh
See how much publicity he has brought to the university
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Urologist: Who wants to do the DRE ?
*100 students raise their hands*
Patient:
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MB;BS (genetics)
Twale sir
My dad is doctor who owns and runs his hospital for over 30 years+.
I knew of these medical terminologies of cross matching genotypes and probabilities in my Jss1. I made notes about the functional unit of the kidney being the nephron that early in life.
My elder brother is a
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If you’re writing Plab 2
Please Hold Jesus,
Hold him very tight.
If you feel he’s far, go and find him and make sure you carry him with you to that building.
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Attended CCI for the first time and all I can say is I’m grateful to God for what he’s doing through that ministry
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In as much as the quotes and replies are hilarious and sad at the same time there are two major lessons to learn here.
1. We owe it to ourselves and our younger ones to eradicate this culture of toxicity. We should do a lot better. We are all Human beings with feelings.
2.
What’s the funniest/worst insult you received/ heard about during medical school?
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MBBS, PGDHM, Diploma in Anaethesia, masters in public health (MPH), Masters in business administration (MBA), served as CMD/CEO at Harvey Road Comprehensive Health Centre in Yaba
All these just for one random guy to come and say rubbish on this app.
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We desperately need labour laws for Doctors in this country.
We need it.
It’s so important.
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In as much as the quotes and replies are hilarious and sad at the same time there are two major lessons to learn here.
1. We owe it to ourselves and our younger ones to eradicate this culture of toxicity. We should do a lot better. We are all Human beings with feelings.
2.
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Lecturer: You don’t need to read anything on the anatomy of the stomach, it won’t come out
Question 1: Discuss the Anatomy of the Stomach (20 marks).
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But how will you tell someone to put his name under differentials for Anencephaly 😭😭
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Hepatocytes when you buy Pracetamul instead of Paracetamol:
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“Don’t come back to the ward without the result of this patient”
I’m sorry but 10k steps a day is crazy like where do y’all even be going
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Again
Christianity is not the source of our problems.
Without Christianity, this country will be SIGNIFICANTLY worse.
Until Africans are freed from religion, nothing will ever change
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🗑️
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Yes
It’s significantly better than that Sodom and Gomorrah Medical series.
House MD is the GOAT of medical series.
Only legends agree.
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“I am the one” ke
You Dey whine me ni 🤣🤣
Boys for don fly fence 😂😂
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Nobody
After that Reg passes Plab 2
Nigerian footballer, Chibuike Nwaiwu spotted in Israel training with new club days after being declared missing by Enyimba FC,
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I’m Really proud of the new set of medical doctors from BUTH. ❤️
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A Medical student coming back to the hostel after holding the torchlight for a procedure in the emergency:
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If you are a medical student, never run away from presentations (not just on the wards but also in class). It will help you a lot when you go for interviews later in life.
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Dr we know you’re not on call, come and help us set this line now
Me:
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Patient: Doctor they’ve already done widal’s test for me and given me injection at the pharmacy.
Doc:
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I think Sarcasm is one of the skills you pick up in medical school.
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Late last year I decided to start helping people pass plab 1 because I noticed quite a number of people had issues with it
I’ve always loved teaching since medical school😅
Seeing this message brought some level of fulfillment
I’m so happy right now.
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200 students to one conso, two registrars 1 SR
And the conso is already planning to leave
Lmaoo
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No matter how much stuff you have, the only guarantee for Success in medical school is God.
#mbbsjourney
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If you’re a medical student or a doctor preparing for exams, one of the things you can do that may help is to use your “movie time” to watch medical shows.
I recommend HouseMD.
The stuff there is much and may really help in exam conditions.
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Orthopedic Consultant on his way to the CMD’s office after seeing 300 students on the ward
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I’ve said before and I’ll say it again. The only guarantee for success in any exam is God.
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Afe in his bedroom after seeing the news
Did you know that before this quota increment, Afe Babalola University (a private university) had the highest quota for graduating medical students in Nigeria? (200).
I did not know.
Apparently it’s now 400 due to the new Govt directive.
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“I can’t wait to finish”
Until you finish and realize Life as a medical student was a lot more simpler.
You’d see ppl complain about HouseJob and think “ it can’t be that bad” until you start doing it and realize they were fucking under exaggerating it
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They expect somebody who spent Millions of naira and over 7 years of his or her life in medical school to collect 15k per month while doing the job of 70 people at once
Satan must be jotting things down from these people Lol
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Cardiologist: I heard the Nephrologist had an accident so he won’t be coming to the ward. Oya Dr Tunde (Cardio SR) please quickly start that patient on ward on Furosemide
The Nephrologist:
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IF OUR MEDICAL ELDERS COLLECTIVELY WANT OUR HEALTH SYSTEM TO WORK
IT WILL WORK.
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@WazzaNations10
@BrownieCavalier
@Butler23i
Well he probably has played like 200 more free kicks than him 🤷♂️
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You owe your children the responsibility of marrying the right person
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Class rep: Sir these are the logbooks they said you should sign for us, there are about 100.
Where should I put them?
Reg (who also has 300 patients to attend to):
200 students to one conso, two registrars 1 SR
And the conso is already planning to leave
Lmaoo
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General surgeon when the cardiologist prescribes apixaban the night before surgery
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It appears that everyone in BUTH is tired both students and doctors lol
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*After 96 hours of call*
Conso: we will soon start wardround, call Dr Akingbile, The HO
SR: *Phones the HO*
Dr Akingbile, you’re needed on the ward now, we want to start wardround
HO:
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“Them don thief my prick”
“Them don collect my breast”
No, they didn’t steal anything and this could just be a case of a condition we call KORO syndrome
(A Thread)
Please retweet for awareness
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We don turn Arsenal like this 😭😭😭
You will manage and gather small happiness over the week only for Chelsea to come and steal it like a thief in the night.
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Doctor: I can’t attend to you now cause I’m trying to stabilize this multiple injured patient
Patient (who came to the hospital by 2am to collect malaria drug): but doctor you don’t know how it’s doing me
Doctor:
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The moment you decide to surrender totally to Jesus
Life becomes a million times better.
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Social Media is really beautiful
A lot of us then had no idea of the usmle pathway in school not to even talk about having Info regarding it
But it’s really nice to see the guys still in medical have having such exposure and information.
You can do it
You Just have to believe.
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If you’re single
Enjoy being single
Don’t allow anybody to pressure you
🙂🙂
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@ooguntayo24
Miracles from Jesus are free.
You don’t pay for them and as a matter of fact you can’t even pay for them. It’s under the same umbrella with salvation.
The Devil gives with one hand and takes with two.
Jesus gives with two hands and a hug.
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Re-watching The vampire diaries again and I can see why everyone hated Elena
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Dx: Buhari complicated by Tinubu.
Symptoms: Shege promax, corruption and suffering
Investigation: INEC, NASS, voting patterns.
Tx: P.O Prayer PRN
IV Tackle Corruption Tds
SC Japa stat
Counsel on voting patterns
Refer to PO
Sign out.
Can someone explain to me the actual cause of this hardship in Naija?
Is it purely incompetent government or poor economic policies?
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Viva
Conso: how do you manage hyperprolactinemia
Med student: Tell the patient to reduce milk and cooked egg
Conso:
@Wizarab10
Is high prolactin level. Every ladies does experience that.
Reduce milk and especially cooked egg
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Chief, Prof said I should call you.
You forgot to write antibiotics for the patient in theatre.
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@ooguntayo24
How will miraculous testimonies cost you?
I mean to do evil requires more.
People thy do rituals and stuff like that are almost always asked to sacrifice unreasonable things.
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This last one year has been crazy lol
But I’m grateful to God for everything.
BUTH will forever hold a special place in my heart ❤️
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If you are ever in a relationship with someone with a good heart please hold on to that person except if God is telling you otherwise or the timing is wrong because mad people dey this world.
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Somebody donated blood yesterday and today he’s telling you his heart is beating fast and you’re smiling
Okay oo.
Happy Valentine’s Day. Fellow singles, here’s some smoothness.
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There should be a maximum working hours for doctors per week
So no Organisation can “force” you to work outside these hours without extra pay.
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These last few weeks I saw Jesus like never before.
There is absolutely NOTHING anyone can tell me to make me even consider that Jesus isn’t real
If you have problems, I can assure you, he loves you and he absolutely cares about you.
Go to him.
He is always ready to help.
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