Lloyd Griffith
@LloydGriffith
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comedian, actor, choirboy. Return to Paradise, Live At The Apollo, Nolly, Ted Lasso, Songs of Praise, Soccer AM etc. Looked after by Carly Peters @unitedagents
Joined February 2009
Praise too for Kasper Schmeichel who is a rock in and out of goal. Consoling Christian’s wife whilst in tears himself. Assisting the medical staff. Also let’s not forget he was first on the scene at the helicopter crash. I hope he’s looked after too. He’s been through a lot x.
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Just seen that the Spice Girls are playing The Stadium of Light next year. Can genuinely see them coming away with all 3 points.
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Still laughing at this 🤣🤣.
Are you Team @Wrexham_AFC with @RMcElhenney and @VancityReynolds? ❤️. Or are you Team @officialgtfc with @LloydGriffith and @robbeckettcomic? 🖤
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I DO NOT WANT TO PUT UNTESTED DRUGS IN MY SYSTEM JUST SO I CAN ENTER A NIGHTCLUB TO PUT UNTESTED DRUGS UP MY NOSE OK.
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Sean Lock was the first comedian I saw live, Leeds festival in 2002 and became my favourite comedian. He made me want to get up on stage. I watched everything he did. I was even lucky enough to support him a few times. The nicest man ever. Absolutely devastated. Rest easy Sean.
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I get tagged in this so much when it does the rounds, so here it is again in high quality. Based on a true story lol 🎩
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Been up since 7am preparing. Sure, it took close to an hour, a lot of swearing and crying but I bloody managed it. Buzzing. Managed to get a doctors appointment in March next year.
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When Leicester won the FA cup, the first thing he did before being asked to lift the cup was go and get Top aka Aiyawatt Srivaddhanaprabha so he could share that moment with them all. Absolutely first class.
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Not even 2.30pm here in St Petersburg and already I've been approached by two 'ladies of the night'. Nice to know I've still got it! And by 'it' I mean the look of a man who clearly has to pay for sex.
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A pleasure to lead the national anthem at the Brentford v Arsenal game yesterday. Thanks to @BrentfordFC for the invite. Tell you what, it’s very emotional being in the middle of 16,000 people singing the anthem.
Brentford and Arsenal observe a minute's silence in memory of Queen Elizabeth II.
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OK STOP NOW OK.
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At the start of lockdown 2.0, I set myself the challenge of running 10k by today and also losing weight, 3/4 stone down and 10k done. GET IN THERE TUBS!!! 🍔
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Ran 12km today which means I’ve run 101km in Feb. Not sure who I am anymore. Aside from slightly thinner, and the kind of dickhead that tweets that he’s running 101km a month. What a (slightly thinner) prick.
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Bit of a dream come true, this. Delighted to announce that I'm the new co-host of @SoccerAM. Yes @Fennerssocceram & @jimmybullard! ⚽️
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Some grim reading on here the last week or so from ‘football fans’ regarding gender. If you’re tweeting homophobic/transphobic/bigoted abuse, let it be known, you’re not a football fan, you’re a twat.
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We need more working class people in government. People that know what the actual issues are in everyday society, NHS waiting times, food poverty, transport failings, this list goes on. We don’t need people in power whose first priority is sorting out bankers bonuses.
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This has got @BlossomsBand written all over it tbh.
Search for Gruffalo after statues stolen from park
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I honestly can’t tell you how good running is. Started running properly in November. Just knocked out a 7km in the sun and feeling great after (head esp). I’m 17 stone, lol. Get on it if you can. It’s doable. INT RUNNING BRILLIANT?!.
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‘Southgate must have been watching a different game to me last night’, no no, you watched the same game pal, he was just sat in the dugout, as manager of England. You watched it at home with a Budweiser having just finished work, CRUCIALLY, not as a football manager.
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‘But what can I do?’ Stop buying/reading publications that fuel racist narrative for a start. It all starts with what people subconsciously take in. We need to do better, and quick
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So wait, work from home, BUT, go out and get shitfaced with those same people BUT IN A PUB?! you’re a fucking clueless scarecrow.
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Really excited to be going to this game this evening. A few years ago I'd occasionally go in goal for them. Tonight, they're playing in the FA CUP!!!! Well done @SpencerOwen & @hashtagutd #UpTheTags.
From a group of mates streaming games on YouTube to the FA Cup - live on the BBC!. @SpencerOwen on the rise of @hashtagutd 👉 ⚽ FA Cup 1st round qualifying: Hashtag Utd v Soham Town Rangers.📺📱 19:35 BST, BBC iPlayer, Red Button & online. #bbcfacup
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Honestly, the content that the @England media team put out all year is quality, but the stuff they've been doing during the Euros is absolutely outstanding. Podcasts, interviews, behind the scenes etc. I'm glued to their accounts. Bucket hats off to the team behind the cameras!.
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Yeah Grimsby lost to Chelsea but seriously, so proud of the boys. A 17 year old centre back against Michy Batshuayi. We had a lad in midfield who played for Boston United last season against Pedro, a World Cup winner. Wouldn’t change a thing. I love #GTFC 🐟🐟🐟 WE GO AGAIN.
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What we saying @robbeckettcomic?!.
Pace yourself today, kick off is not until 8 o’clock. 🍻.
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Sorry but Harry Styles' new song is an absolute banger.
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@RishiSunak Rishi you mad fuck, your lot have put up my mortgage up by a third. Just under 3,000,000 people now access food banks compared to 40,000 when the Tories came into power. With respect, shove your bookmark up your arse mate.
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Anyone else think it’s weird that in this weather my girlfriend sleeps with her pyjamas on, socks on, windows closed, door locked, won’t speak to me, says we need time apart. Anyone? Hello?.
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This Southampton team are good. I reckon Liverpool should buy a few of their playe. OH WAIT A MINUTE. Lol.
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I honestly thought at the age of 37 I would be having 4 day coke binges with Kate Moss, not absolutely fuming at the fact I forgot to scan my Tesco Clubcard before paying.
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I’ve never refused to be subbed off. I’ve never refused to be subbed on. I’ve actually never really played football. I’m 17 stone and 5’8.
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It’s 5.35am. I’m off to Brighton to see Grimsby Town play in an FA Cup Quarter Final. Not a sentence I thought I’d ever write. Whatever happens, I’m just proper proud of this team (and staff) to get where they have today. Let’s go and have fun and enjoy the day #GTFC 🐟🐟🐟.
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Got a feeling the Tories don’t care about the ordinary working person. Just a hunch. More as I have it.
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@VancityReynolds Oh mate, the NL don’t like being told what to do. Proper old school boys club. Good luck.
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I know it’s 2:55am but I genuinely think that me and Rihanna would be a really good couple.
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Just making sure I have everything for football today; ticket, scarf, train beers, cable ties.
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Genuinely feel for the Scunthorpe United fans, employees and players. Treated horrifically by narcissistic owners and now so many people will suffer as a result. I hope someone they manage to come back from this. There’s a time for rivalry, and there’s a time for being human.
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This is honestly, truly hideous. Trying to tarnish the career of someone who is not just great at his job, but cares for people. This is clickbait drivel at it’s finest. ‘Yeah but have you read the article?’. You’ve done your damage, you know what you wanted to do, get in the bin.
The Manchester United player frequently gave the ball away on Tuesday night after a day spent fighting to protect hungry children. Join our discussion on Marcus Rashford balancing his career and his campaigning in the comments 👇.
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Two quite attractive ladies looking over at me on the tube. I start blushing. They keep looking over. I start smiling. I glance over my shoulder to see quite possibly the fittest man I’ve ever seen. I mean, so fit. Fair play to everyone here. Keep on dreaming Lloyd. Happy Friday.
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Every now and then I get mistaken for @alex_brooker. Sure, there are *some* similarities between us, but this is absolutely brilliant.
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Hi guys, I’m gonna be walking around London today with a flare up my arse, billy bollock naked, coked up to the eyeballs but it’s part of a government test pilot ok, oh and please still respect me yeah? Cheers.
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When you’re managing Everton til 10 but doing the door at Walkabout at 11
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Slept really well last night actually. My top tips:.- cold bath 1 hour before sleep.- pillow cases in the freezer 1 hour before bed .- a fan actually point out the window.- 4 sleeping pills .- 6 cans of Stella.
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It's 1.21am. It's Christmas Day. It's 'Lloyd wraps his family presents whilst battered' time
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Big game today. Nervous as heck. But I tell you what, I bloody love the Grimsby Town team. A squad full of battlers. The belief they have is beautiful to watch. Proud of them whatever happens today. Go out and do your thing lads #GTFC.
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Nah i don’t have Son or Kane but yeah course I have Doherty.
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HUGE NEWS! I’m the 39th sexiest person in Lincolnshire. Officially. And what a photo they’ve used. CHIN UP REBEKAH VARDY (45) AND ROBERT WEBB (48). Absolutely buzzing
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If this is what the prem is like without fans, then weld the turnstiles shut.
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Didn't see you all take to twitter when Eric Cantona kung fu kicked that bloke at Palace. Speaks volumes.
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For solidarity; every substitute on the bench this weekend should eat a pie during the 82nd minute #piegate.
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@piersmorgan @RMTunion You look like this Italian nun I saw in Italy. Absolutely nothing to do with your original point, a bit like your interview. Cheers
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Whilst it might be coming home etc etc, spare a thought for the little fat prick who dropped his phone down a Wembley toilet last night.
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My head is saying we'll get a measured 2-0 win tomorrow but my heart is saying please don't have another 10 pints.
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Happy Birthday Peter Schmeichel. You’ve been like a Dad to me (in that I haven’t met you either) xx
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Went to get booster today. Huge queue but was jabbed and out within 20 mins. Absolute legends, like clockwork. They know what they’re doing - even when being told the news at the same time as us. Thanks booster crew.
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@baz_prest what you’ve done here Baz, is take this tweet as fact as not as just a bit of lighthearted fun. I’d say take a chill pill but I don’t want you roaring again 🤣.
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I love Paul Hurst and have so much to thank him for. Two promotions, some cracking FA Cup games, but just a bloody good bloke who players wanted to play for and a huge reason we the fans have our club back. We’ve lost a manager + a town fan. Thanks gaffer #GTFC.
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It happened, it finally happened! On my run today (13km, no big deal) I managed to OVERTAKE ANOTHER RUNNER. Sure, he looked like he was on his way to his second vaccination and could have told me a few stories about his time in the Boer war, BUT STILL. We go again.
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You pay tributes to the dead. Not your Tory mates who have lost their jobs.
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Picked him up 14 mins outside of Grimsby, drank 5 cans of dark fruits in the back, needed 3 piss stops and slagged off my car all the way but we’re here. Great to be your chauffeur @bmussell1997 #GTFC #UTM
If any town fans need a lift today to Stockport I have two spaces in my car. Leaving at 9ish though and only going there as staying over (no return baby). I mean, not the best offer in the world, but if you need it and you don’t stink, give me a shout #GTFC.
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FUCK YOU THAT PETER CROUCH PODCAST.
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If you’re throwing lighters or bottles at a footballer at a football match, you’re an absolute shithouse.
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If you can spare any money to help search for David Ibbotson, there's a link here. My Mum went to school with David and used to go to Northern Soul weekenders with him. Let's try and help his family if we can:
The family of David Ibbotson, the pilot of the plane carrying Emiliano Sala, have launched a fundraising appeal to find his body.
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When me and my gf broke up & I moved in to my own place my friends said I should get some plants. I can honestly say it’s been the most stressful 6 months of my life. Nothing to do with the ex. It’s the plants. They need so much bloody attention. It’s all I think about. Pls help.
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Seeing Schmeichel celebrate Schmeichel saving that penalty has just made me roar my eyes out.
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Also, if you were a football fan protesting at the anti-racism march yesterday, you should know that the footballers playing for that club you love think you’re a fucking moron.
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HELLO! So, me & @TurtleCanyonCom are filming a little series called #LetLloydSing. Basically, I'd love to sing the national anthem at Wembley during the Euros this year and this is my journey to try and make it happen. He's the trailer, full ep dropping at 3pm later.
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Did I take Vardy out of my team for this week? Yeah, course I did 🙃.
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Best goal I’ve seen all year without a doubt.
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Love this photo. Brought my Colombian pal with me. ‘I won’t be the only Colombian in that block will I?!’ .‘Nah mate’ .lol
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My girlfriend is away for a month.Friends: what you going to get up to whilst she’s away?.Me: Not put the cushions on the bed in the morning so I don’t have to take them off 12 hours later.
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YOU REFUSED TO CONDEMN THOSE WHO BOOED PLAYERS TAKING THE KNEE. This is on you, you dead scab.
“Shame on you and I hope you’ll crawl back under the rock from which you emerged". UK PM Boris Johnson condemns racism directed at some England players after team lost Euro 2020 final to Italy and says the Three Lions played like “heroes”.
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How did I celebrate my birthday? OH JUST SAVING @MylesRakSu’s PENALTY TO STOP LINCOLN FANS WINNING £300 LOL LOL LOL 🐟🐟🐟 #GTFC
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