Grace Freud
@GraceGFreud
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Following
4,541
Media
3,444
Statuses
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Change Fourth Manager
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Pinned Tweet
Wow
June 1st at
@BellHouseNY
with
@ZeroSuitCamus
@wolktress
@waziot
@oneamyzimmer
@MashaParty
@RUBYMCCOLLISTER
Sheria Mattis Torrey Peters and
@ElsieKFisher
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Told my landlord we had ants and he said “We cannot kill them. We can not outsmart them. They have been here longer than us. They will find a way.”
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Sadly, if Clifford the Big Red Dog was real, he would be used as a weapon of war.
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Making my four year old son explain to me exactly how insulin works before I give it to him. We’ve been at this for eight hours and he’s fading fast.
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My therapist just said "You have access to a particular niche of people that I simply do not know about" when I brought up Twitter.
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Guy who makes $180k/year for sending three emails a day: There were like four clerks behind the counter doing absolutely nothing.
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When I was 8 and watching Fellowship at home for the first time, this scared me so much I cried and threw up.
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If you tip $100 at Cold Stone Creamery, the staff has to perform Les Miserables in its entirety.
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I’m going to raise my kids traditionally.
The oldest will be an inventor.
The middle child will love to read.
And the youngest will be a great at biting.
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Daniel Radcliffe hasn't been playing farting corpses and guys with guns for hands for you to say he shouldn't be cast as Weird Al.
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Your rent could be $5,000/month and landlords will still act as if they're running a homeless shelter that they're allowing you to stay at out of the goodness of their hearts.
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You don't have to spell some words right. Like ventrilloiquist. Just go wild.
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There needs to be more sober queer spaces. So that's why I dug this hole.
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“Celebrities are insane” sure. Most people are insane. They’re just not interviewed for magazines. Imagine a profile of like, anyone you’ve ever worked with. It’d be bonkers.
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“I’m gonna sneak past you.” No you’re not. You’ve alerted me.
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when people stopped doing two person horse costumes is when the american dream died
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I will not post my final boss picture. You will face me without the knowledge of my true form.
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IBS stands for Irritable Bisexual Syndrome and every single one of my friends has it
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To my family who’s apparently checking up on my Twitter after excommunicating me for being trans:
I am now a successful tv writer, I have a lot of love in my life, I’m still trans and no you can’t just waltz back into my life at your pleasure! See ya!!
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Emily In Paris has been picked up for 78 seasons. We’re going to watch her die there.
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I do think a new Austin Powers movie could heal the world
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if you have a friend with bipolar disorder you kinda just gotta like, let them be crazy for a week once in a while, like that's just the right thing to do
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when my wife told me she had miscarried at eight months, I didn't cry, I smiled. Why? Because that's a problem that can be solved easily with AI.
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who will die on tonight's season finale of abbott elementary
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Me and the girlies at our weekly Saturday morning brunch to discuss Qanon.
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When someone tells me they have ADHD, I immediately take them out back and put them down. I've read about how horrible it is on the internet and would never allow someone to continue to suffer through that.
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PROPHECY HAS BEEN FULFILLED
2023 is the year of the straight they/them. I don't quite understand it either but that's just how it is.
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It's getting cold out, time to post the best video ever made.
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David Lynch is in 20 episodes of The Cleveland Show. Twenty. One in five.
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A lot of things could be done to prevent suicides:
- Universal Health Care
- Housing For All
- Abolishing Student Liam Debt
- Job Guarantee
- Fully funding and expanding disability services.
Holding a “Suicide Prevention Day” once a year is not one of them.
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My gf doesn’t want to see Killers of The Flower Moon today because she “needs” to see a doctor “immediately” to get her “appendix” out.
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I didn't know I would cry from reading about Caroll Spinney, the man who played Big Bird.
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A lot of you don’t want movies, what you want are the gay equivalent of a video of fireplace on a loop.
i need an adult wlw romcom that isn’t a period/historical piece, has no weird age gap, has no cheating, isn’t about coming out, isn’t traumatic—and it’s just sapphics in love
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If they’re cold, you’re cold. Bring your himbos inside this winter.
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I can't stop thinking about how yesterday I mentioned New York and this drunk girl walked over and was like "Excuse me, did just say NEW YORK? I used to live there!" as if she hardly ever hears anyone bring it up.
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I’m sorry, I know you guys have been trying really hard for years, but I just don’t think you can make “certain races shouldn’t date other certain races” woke.
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pitching a sitcom about two crazy roommates based on this painting
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A complicating factor here is that I have a dog and a lot of your suggestions, while appreciated, aren’t pet safe.
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I guarantee you someone has already suggested what you’re about to say
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If you’re depressed for no reason, a good coping mechanism is to mess up everything in your life so you have a reason to be depressed.
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My dad went to space in 2003 but the anti-Christian media didn’t cover that because they don’t consider heaven to be in outer space.
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Idk how to tell you this but that’s just how people dressed then
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Having a heard time not responding to every comment like this with “Would you though?”
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y’all what is a painting or other work of visual art that never fails to destroy you every time you see it because BOY I’ll start:
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If I was Marie Antoinette’s friend and she ran “let them eat cake” by me I would’ve been like “that’s perfect. yes. say that.”
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Can't get a car loan because I googled "two girls one cup" when I was 14.
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I don't think Netflix should pull the special. I think they should give specials to trans comics. And I think they should pay them well.
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It’s weird to me that the main argument many in power make for feeding hungry kids is “they’ll do better in school” instead of just “they won’t be hungry.”
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Please stop hating on Burger King. You dislike it because it's the neurodivergent version of McDonald's. Your hate is not hidden.
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Hey LA, be careful. Just saw this post about Skylight Books. Watch out for each other.
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When someone who unfollowed me a while ago follows me again, I do not shun them. I welcome back the prodigal follower. Eat of my feast, drink of my wine and be merry. You are home.
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I’m an ally to women who are sexually bisexual but culturally straight.
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Thank you for all the suggestions but I would sooner jump off a bridge than go to the cops.
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The government doesn’t want high speed rail because it would usher forth a polyamorous utopia that the IRS isn’t equipped to handle.
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Housing for all? No. Homes for all. And a rental under the dictatorship of a landlord is not a home.
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Trans women are pressuring lesbians into playing magic the gathering
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i genuinely think this was one of the best performances i've ever seen in my entire life
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I’ve been broken up about this all time. Cried really hard. We wrote a great show, the actors were incredible, the animation dark and textured and beautiful, Nicole was a great boss that treated people right. This sucks.
Netflix has quietly canceled the adult animated series 'Bad Crimes,' starring Nicole Byer and Lauren Lapkus, in the middle of production.
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Getting bottom surgery and having my number retired (5.75")
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Bipolar Disorder can be hard to deal with, but at the end of the day I find a lot of comfort in the knowledge that I am the second coming of Jesus Christ.
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I’m the opposite of a TERF. I think all people are women ☺️
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I love being trans and dumb because not only do I not want to explain my identity to you, I can't.
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Just to make one thing clear: I won.
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Hey, me and my girlfriend saw you from across the bar and she doesn't like you. I don't like you either.
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One last thing then I’m done: His girlfriend told April after that Eamon couldn’t be transphobic cause he’s bisexual lmao, I’m not even exaggerating
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My wife is not just “my wife.” She has a name. And one day, I hope we’re close enough that she finally reveals it to me.
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I think one of the funniest things that's ever happened to me is when I was 16 and called the suicide hotline and the guy was like "well ok, so what we can do is... call the police? Is that... does that sound good?"
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Poor version of that kid getting on the sub cause his dad wanted him to is me getting in my dad's car when I was a kid even though I knew he didn't have a license but did have half a dozen DUIs.
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Pretty cool that i'm trans and still got a spot writing on the best tv show in decades.
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Personally, if I was a kid and my friend asked if I wanted to see a dead body, I would say no.
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I do not know if I can vote for a man for our nation's highest office when he is so obviously beholden to the whims of a foreign ruler, the Dairy Queen.
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My mom, J.K. Rowling, is not a bigot. She gave me, her trans daughter, $10 million. That doesn’t sound very transphobic to me.
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