you already know
@DrinkingDad_2
Followers
268
Following
19K
Media
169
Statuses
2K
Formerly @DrinkingDad. Old cars, cool stuff, outlaw country, sometimes clever Tweets (yes, Tweets). Please use Your and You’re correctly. I once got a “like”.
Rhode Island, USA
Joined February 2025
You’re embarrassing your relatives of yore with your grammar
2
67
108
The hamburger and helper both reached for the glove at the same time, and the rest was comfort food history.
1
23
33
If your financial advisor has too much gel in his hair , you’re going to be broke soon
0
9
15
In high school I was voted most likely to “file for bankruptcy after investing everything in a shower chili bag business,” which turned out to be astonishingly accurate.
8
23
126
Even as a kid with relatively little experience observing politicians, I thought Mayor McCheese seemed corrupt AF.
0
17
25
After making the arrest, Officer Big Mac offered him his one phone call. His friend Grimace picked up the other end of the line and said “I’ll be right there”. A true Hamburglar Helper.
0
3
7
I want what everyone else wants. To be reasonably content with my life, a happy and healthy family and a couple of retweets for my shit posts.
0
23
35
Twitter was more creative before they started paying creators
4
18
73
I disconnected the smoke detector in the airplane bathroom so I could use my airfryer.
5
36
116
I am not proud of this but I must admit I make a deliberate effort to walk faster than the old people in CVS so I can get to the pharmacy before they do
191
79
2K
Drops of Jupiter was dropped in favor of Inches of Mercury as the standard measurement of vacuum only after an intense legal battle between The Office of Weights and Measures & the band Train.
0
1
4
When someone mentions an author I don't know, I just say, “Oh yes, my grandparents lived next door to his family.”
9
65
200
The five stages of dinner preparation: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally, hamburger helper.
1
39
89
Columbus Day is too exclusionary. It should piss off the rest of Ohio. Why no Toledo Day? Or Beavercreek Week?
0
4
8
All this sucks but if you can hold on for a couple weeks there will be an extra hour of soul crushing darkness each and every day.
4
28
116
The only thing constant is change. Also the Feigenbaum constant. and Pi, and Tau, and the numbers 1, and 2, and 1/2, and Phi, and the square roots of 2, 3, and 5. And zero. And negative 1.
1
10
32
Essex, CT coal powered steam locomotive and the Connecticut Valley Line.
0
0
2
Watching ‘Sex and the City’ in 1998: I’m a Carrie. Re-watching ‘Sex and the City’ in 2025: These bitches are the worst.
2
13
85
Every accidental RT of a reply is me holding up a neon sign that says “idiot.”
1
42
65