What kind of sick bastard would need this?

W dads

LMAO

One tweet biography of every English & British monarch since Alfred the Great in 886: 1/63

While exploring the grounds of a Derbyshire country house last week, Trainee Search Dog Wren of @Buxton_MRT indicated to her handler that she'd found a missing person. The young pup was very pleased with herself when she took her handler to the casualty. Well done Wren...

My toddler drew mummy at nursery. Not sure why mummy has Chuck Norris' head

Incredible. 5 yrs ago, I filed a FOIA request w/SOUTHCOM for photographed copies of all artwork created by Guantanamo detainees for a project I've been working on. SOUTHCOM just turned docs over & redacted 100s of paintings citing law enforcement techniques & procedures exemption

@nypost "average person eats 1 credit card a week" factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 credit cards per week. Credit Cards Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

Crap like this is a big part of why our politics is broken & becoming more so. If you’re railing against lies & disinformation of your opponents but speaking your own lies & disinformation you’re part of the problem. You are just as “post truth” as those you affect your detest.

In this war everything is real: Putin’s madness and cruelty, Ukrainian victims, bombs falling on Kyiv. Only your sanctions are pretended. Those EU government’s, which blocked tough decisions (i.a. Germany, Hungary, Italy) have disgraced themselves.

Sue Gray is taking so long to finish her report because she's being distracted by a continuous conga line going past her office door.

@mana_dziesma I've never seen a patient with it, thankfully. It must be terrifying, to choke on that membrane in your throat. The pictures are bad enough. The US has almost zero cases, but there were 8800 worldwide in 2017. https://t.co/ngODVFeRBV

@zeynep I use this photo in a talk I give to medical students on childhood vaccinations. Five siblings killed in one week from diphtheria. Vaccines are an incredible gift.

Christ, this lot did more staggering around the garden than Captain Tom.

"Daddy, where's Elsa?" In the ice palace sweetie, she'll be on in a sec... "Daddy, where's Anna?"

The best thing about watching Disney films with your toddler is that, by the 10th re-watch, you can sort of piece together what happens

The WHO has given the nasty new variant the Greek letter “omicron”, presumably missing out the previous letter “Xi” to avoid an unfortunate link with China’s President. Because to be associated with such a horrific, unstoppable blight on humanity would be very harsh on Covid-19.

The Tiger That Kept Coming To Tea.

Here we are now, Entertain us, He's got eight legs, Needs more trainers

“Why won’t young people have children?” they ask, surveying the broken housing market, the staggering generational wealth gap, the 42% tax rate for graduates, decades of pay stagnation and the extortionate cost of childcare. “Must be climate anxiety!”