Andrew R
@ExcelPope
Followers
13,880
Following
879
Media
12,075
Statuses
80,926
Three times winner of Twitter's "Least honest bio" award.
Kingdom of Northumbria
Joined June 2014
Don't wanna be here?
Send us removal request.
Explore trending content on Musk Viewer
Sunak
• 234983 Tweets
貴方のサークル
• 184271 Tweets
JUMP
• 174451 Tweets
ガイナックス
• 104325 Tweets
あなたのサークル
• 77208 Tweets
コミックマーケット104
• 72981 Tweets
#C104
• 55471 Tweets
松岡茉優
• 41865 Tweets
大ちゃん
• 37800 Tweets
CONGRATS MACOLET
• 37215 Tweets
#يوم_Iلجمعه
• 35190 Tweets
結婚発表
• 25679 Tweets
GAINAX
• 24872 Tweets
有岡くん
• 18921 Tweets
ドラコー
• 17041 Tweets
ポーランド
• 15095 Tweets
サマステ
• 14065 Tweets
モイネロ
• 11704 Tweets
夏コミ当選
• 11677 Tweets
Cubarsí
• 11563 Tweets
コミケ当選
• 11108 Tweets
Pinned Tweet
@brian_bilston
I'm not much of a poet, but here's a short one on my own pet-hate about Powerpoint presentations...
31
300
949
Person 1: The glass is 1/2 full
Person 2: The glass is 1/2 empty
Excel: The glass is the 1st of February
244
12K
81K
Not suggesting that my 10yo son hasn’t been paying attention to his religious education, but he just referred to Jesus as “muggle-born”.
126
2K
26K
"Dear Mr Tusk, Please may I have a short extension to the deadline, as my dogma has eaten my homework?"
88
3K
13K
Too right, Nigel. Don't let him take all the credit.
.
@Nigel_Farage
says it’s “wrong” for people to claim Donald Trump has encouraged racism
#FarageOnLBC
188
38
52
85
3K
8K
@jk_rowling
Glad you're OK, but thoughts & prayers to the sub-100 follower account that got 5k+ (positive) notifications defending you.
67
184
4K
"If you have any information on this pair, who cruelly deceived a 93-year-old lady, do please contact Westminster police station."
28
1K
4K
Highlight of Christmas so far: My wife wrapping, and carefully peeling the price-tag off the dog’s present, so that he wouldn’t know how much we’d spent on him.
45
672
3K
We now go live to outside J K Rowling's house, where the entire CSI: Hurty Feelings task-force has assembled.
42
393
3K
Disgusted to report that a man has offered me money in exchange for - I can barely bring myself to say this - in exchange for work.
77
382
3K
"Nearly two years into the project, and there's still no clear plan, and, to make things worse, Boris is now having budget problems."
27
466
3K
A gracious apology, and worth remembering that, at one time or another, we've all been angry enough to yell at a baby that it's a fascist.
317
297
3K
I've made the informed decision to spend the next 4 years rewriting scenes from The West Wing, with Trump in place of Bartlett.
56
956
3K
"We're going to start you on 500mls of IV Toilet Duck. This won't hurt very much or for very long."
39
591
2K
The atom-smashers at the Large Hadron Collider are blown into the weeds by the speed of this purity spiral.
149
307
2K
The BBC should put Juncker in the front-row for the Tory leadership debates, with a set of cue cards - "We wouldn't agree to that", "No more negotiations", "No free-trade without sorting the Irish border", "I also like unicorns" - and just pan to him after every statement.
42
657
2K
I know nothing at all about the Duchess of Sussex, but if these three cunts hate her then she's probably alright.
47
299
2K
"I was once tricked into writing a chapter in a pro-paedophilia book, which I was later further tricked into reviewing."
54
382
2K
Wishing Pope Benedict XVI the best of luck with his performance review today.
24
274
2K
If my ex-wife had put half of the effort she put into taking me to the cleaners into finding me a 21 year old lingerie-model girlfriend then I wouldn't be wanking into an empty Pot Noodle tub right now!
36
431
2K
Imagine facing the prospect of being sacked by Boris Johnson for being incompetent and committing adultery.
31
345
2K
The Met Police release a sample copy of their interrogation form, like the one that has been sent to the PM.
41
586
2K
Heartfelt thanks to everyone who generously contributed to allow Jolyon to drive his clown car right into the court. The bit where there was a bang, a cloud of smoke, and all the doors fell off was worth every penny of your money.
22
217
2K
Great idea, I've gone through my son's YouTube channel and liked a load of content about how to get a job, moving into a place of your own, and minding your own fucking business.
I’ve blocked Mumsnet on my parents’ router. I’ve also gone through my parents’ YouTube channel and liked a load of liberal content, including content specifically around queer rights, inclusion and diversity, anti-racism and anti-fascism.
846
54
1K
24
161
2K
A short thread about a Jerry Sadowitz joke I witnessed, which will include said joke.
Please mute this thread if you don't want to be offended.
83
399
2K
In all fairness, Owen Jones' latest piece is intellectually rigorous and makes hard reading for centrists.
92
717
2K
Context is everything, and I doubt anybody understands that better than Jerry Sadowitz.
I've seen what he's capable of, and I won't judge him on a line in a tabloid.
/End.
36
35
2K
Tesco sell more to me than they buy from me, so if they want my custom they'll accept MY terms or they'll be sorry!
#BrexitOpportunity
54
1K
1K
Six years I've been following and blogging about the trans debate and, in that time, I have not said one single thing that a woman writer hasn't said first and said better. If you think rational voices arrived in the debate today then you have not been listening!
21
171
2K
The real villain in Psycho is Janet Leigh, who flaunts her cis-privilege in just simply expecting that her shower will exclude Mrs Bates.
Perhaps if she'd tried being kind and inclusive, rather than screaming, she'd have learned something.
46
225
1K
Goodbye, Jessie (6th June 2013-2nd July 2021).
You were a good girl.
147
15
1K
I am shocked Jolyon was so keen to assume that the fox, once in the hen-house, would behave in a manner that was threatening towards the chickens.
This is straightforward bigotry, based on isolated and unrepresentative incidents.
38
195
1K
A lot of people have questions and uncertainty about 5G.
Well, buckle yourself in, here comes the science...
78
406
1K
Breaking: Section of DExEU's regional Brexit impact assessment leaked.
35
815
1K
So, basically, Putin's cost us a Eurovision win. I hope the eventual war crimes court takes that into account.
13
114
1K
It's not complicated. They can't admit that the murderer is a man, because if they admit that the magic words didn't really change that one man into a woman then they admit it doesn't work for any of them.
It's the loose thread that unravels the whole tapestry.
26
206
1K
I don't know about the rest of you, but this is a guide to how I read TRA arguments on here.
91
430
1K
As the sun goes down on my final day of being a 49-year-old, and I'm forced to accept that my mid-30s are drawing to a close, I thought it would be nice to share with younger readers the 50 most important life lessons I've learned in 50 years…
67
91
1K
Remember that glorious day when the true men of the people stepped out of their gold and marble elevator and took down the establishment?
36
1K
1K
@TheFamousArtBR
I'm sure we're all shocked by the incredible news that a bad-faith actor could pretend to be something they're not, for reasons of personal gain.
If only someone had raised this sooner.
16
82
1K
David Paisley and Shon Faye condemning Helen Joyce for writing a book about transgenderism, even though she isn't trans, are *so* close to realising what the problem is with men declaring that they're women.
18
195
1K
Midwives don't get mentioned as much as doctors & nurses at the moment, but they are very much part of our front-line, dealing with those infected, begging for PPE, bearing incredible physical and emotional pressure. Don't forget about them.
#InternationalDayOfTheMidwife
16
224
1K
Midwives undertake a three-year degree-level course, they have to be the first person to have hands on 40 new-borns just to become qualified. Their training is continuously updated throughout their careers.
Let's ponder who 'guessed' wrong. Them, or this gobshite.
54
148
1K
Could this be the clam before the storm?
*FRENCH NAVY READY TO INTERVENE IF NEEDED ON SCALLOPS: AFP
12
39
49
75
242
1K
Seriously, though, huge congratulations to Nigel Farage on landing his dream job.
45
795
1K
Photos of the underside of Darren Grimes' old school desk leaked to the press.
47
96
1K
Ha, like there's a military anywhere in the world up to the challenge of the A303 on a half-term bank holiday weekend.
Moscow TV presenter says Russia should invade UK and take Stonehenge
308
89
406
15
146
1K
So there's a chance to remain in the EU AND get rid of the Conservative Party?
You, sir, have made your sale.
The Conservative Party will be obliterated as a governing force if we do not take this country out of the EU:
1K
892
3K
21
284
1K
And if you do end up yelling at a baby it's important to apologise to the right people… those who've had to spend 2 stressful days ignoring that you were yelling at a baby.
12
53
1K
Kind of obsessed with the idea of Matt Berry as The Doctor now.
32
95
1K
If you're uncertain what the process is from here, this flowchart should explain it.
25
446
1K
Teenagers who've been through a war-zone: Not children
Twenty-somethings whose dad has been booed: Children
Good old
@LouiseMensch
34
784
999
@francesweetman
@FirstAvenue
I like that they believe in diverse voices, so long as they all say the same thing.
10
22
969
Very proud of my 1st film, Cubies, which is 97 minutes of uncensored hidden camera footage from swimming pool changing cubicles.
I hope people will watch before judging, to appreciate its strong anti-voyeurism subtext.
25
146
944
I know what will cheer us all up…a nice Labour leadership contest.
16
198
985
What a load of fallen leaves.
Words matter, and as our understanding of social justice evolves, our language evolves along with it. Here’s how to remove speciesism from your daily conversations.
36K
10K
32K
10
81
941
Hi, everyone. I need to raise £320,000 for…something good. Please give generously and I'll be sure to tell you later what all the money is for (unless you're one of those twats who asks questions, in which case I'll block you).
Thanks.
26
109
954
Scenes at Glasgow Sheriff Court, as counsel for the prosecution arrive.
19
194
948
Ripped off from Facebook, but I liked this…can you see the 16 circles in this picture?
105
487
965
Surely *somebody* will run the 'Anonymous declare war on ISIS' story under the headline 'Muslim extremists threatened by 72 virgins'
16
1K
933
Dear
@jeremycorbyn
I can’t find your tweet condemning the bullying, and frankly disgusting, treatment of Tom Watson. Would you mind RTing it, please?
29
240
929
Really looking forward to Football Manager 2017, with its, now famous, Brexit mode. Shame about the bugs, really.
24
1K
928
When one has had an elegant sufficiency at 3-shots-for-a-quid night, yet also had the monstrous good fortune to obtain sole occupancy of rearmost couch on the homeward omnibus.
15
235
941
@liz_lizanderson
@bbclaurak
Same reason that Orville the Duck never did interviews without Keith Harris.
27
116
903
Have the BBC just interrupted Dan Hodges’ day-drinking to get him to defend Cummings?
81
96
902
Ooo, a new visitor outside my window this morning. Orthodology isn’t really my bag, so I’m going to guess at… Fighter Duck?
132
65
915
I wish I was a lawyer, so that I'd know if, "We sacked her for reasons we couldn't tell her about, because we were worried she might be right," normally goes down well.
BC: Email from Quantum Impact with report - identifies version for claimant - says "it's vague, deliberately vague, because we shouldn't get into discussion with claimant because she knows her stuff really well"
30
165
769
13
185
884
I'm asking you all to dig deep to help me raise £500,000 to pay for libel costs which are likely to be awarded against me.
Once we hit £150,000 I'll be running an online poll, so you can all decide who I'm going to libel.
23
88
869
Of course you'll see them in court, they're fucking judges.
SEE YOU IN COURT, THE SECURITY OF OUR NATION IS AT STAKE!
108K
42K
159K
24
365
875
With the stakes high Leo and Trump face off over the use of America's military...
8
262
869
My 11yo just asked, “Are baby donkeys called ‘donklets’?” And, you know what, I think they should be.
32
33
873
Next up, a superb little scene where the president gets to show off his book-learning.
7
216
846
Does anyone know if John Nicolson, MP, who is loudly questioning today whether the LGB Alliance do any charity work is related to the John Nicolson, MP, who complained about the LGB Alliance getting a grant to help run an LGB helpline?
37
256
845
My car is not allowed in cycle lanes
Therefore, my car is not a bicycle
By extension, my car shouldn't exist
I wish I had a PhD, so that I could work out which part of that chain of reasoning was horseshit.
@aytchellesse
By telling trans women they don’t belong in women’s spaces, you are telling them they’re not women, and by extension, that they shouldn’t exist. Did you never consider this was the natural conclusion trans people come to when you tell them they don’t belong in women’s spaces?
2K
4
48
17
85
847
A new blog from me, with all literary quotes and flowcharts and stuff, explaining why J K Rowling must die.
62
177
810
Jesus, why doesn't this have a million RTs?
16
705
822
"I've got no idea what it is, or where it came from, but it says everything I tell it to."
21
470
801
Well, our house has been de-Christmased.
I know it's meant to be unlucky to take the decs down before Twelfth Night, but we did it last year and the year before and nothing bad happened.
67
49
827