Dak Harding
@DakHarding
Followers
724
Following
415
Media
650
Statuses
15,571
In laughter's embrace, scars find their place. Humor, my shield, and saving grace. An echo of peace, a quest I chase. To one day be free, in a safe space. ~DH
Las Vegas, NV | $50 to DM
Joined May 2010
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Pinned Tweet
Trying to be a social media influencer from my couch is exhausting.
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Someone named Ethel hit me up on Tinder. Please excuse me as I grab my lantern and time travel to 1870.
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I hope today someone compliments, cooks/bakes for, buys your favorite candy, hugs, or in general just shows a modicum of basic human kindness and interest in you.
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Just watched the new Road House and have decided to cancel Amazon Prime after 12 years.
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Remember when Twitter was fun and we were all happy and didn't get random toe cramps?
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I'm convinced that if Earth explodes all the cats will land safely on the moon, on their feet.
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I'm not really introverted. I just value peace and quiet which includes staying far the fuck away from people's endless horseshit, deceptions, and drama.
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Life is stressful as hell so I'll never understand folks that purposely go outta their way to make it even worse for others.
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Beautiful people are abundant. Good hearts that don't have an agenda aren't.
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That Grammy's 50 years of hip-hop show was incredible, but where the fuck was Eminem?
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Short people always act hard until they can't reach something in the grocery store.
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One year sober today. To celebrate, I'm getting hammered. I'm kidding. I wanted to give the mental/physical toll that alcohol puts on your system a break, and I'm happy to have achieved it.
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Twitter is easy. Don't be a creep. Don't attack someone's weight, looks, or how they put food on the table. And most importantly, don't threaten someone's personal space, children, or livelihood. Why is that so difficult for some folks?
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Why be an asshole when you can simply just not give a shit and save energy.
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At the age where a nice clean fresh pillowcase is comforting.
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[restaurant dinner date]
Me: How many strangers before us do you think have stuck these forks in their mouth?
Her: What?
Me: Nothing..
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If you're feeling sad, lost or down and out, just remember there's people waking up everyday trying to be "TikTok famous". You're doing fine. Keep going.
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Normalize simply minding your business and not fuckin with people's peace just because you don't get along.
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Aliens, hurricanes, fires, floods, earthquakes... all within a few weeks. I'm sure everything will be fine. 🤪
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Shoutout to people that actually have morals on here. All 5 of you.
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There's a helluva difference between being nice and being kind. People can't fake kindness, but they sure as shit can fake niceness all day everyday.
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They should be taking your worries and anxiety away, not creating more.
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Live, laugh, grow old with constant regret and dread that you didn't do more and now it's too late.
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I wanna see a movie with Christopher Walken and Owen Wilson just saying, "Wow" to each other.
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I assume some don't follow me back because they're terrified of falling madly in love with me.
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In olden times, I would've been the crazy giant wizard deep in the forest.
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At the age now where I fast forward through movie sex scenes. Just show me who dies at the end.
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Being attractive isn't enough. I need you to get on your hands and knees and help me pull weeds without whining.
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Before finding your people here, you'll cross paths with a lotta slick used car salesmen trying to sell you shit while calling it chocolate.
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Right now, someone is annoyed by your post while inhaling a nachos bell grande with extra sour cream.
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I don't give a fuck about likes or follows anymore. Those pathetic days are gone, thank God. I'm just here to support/like the ones that I've known for years who help me laugh occasionally and get through the day with their whimsical shit.
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A drive thru that serves pasta, garlic bread, and cake. WHERE IS IT.
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No longer engage with anyone or anything that doesn't improve, agree with, or compliment your quality of life.
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People are disrespectful, knowing they're being disrespectful, thinking you're just going to tolerate their disrespect. Nah mf'er, bye.
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Sorry I head butted you, but you weren't getting the last can of salt and vinegar Pringles, old lady.
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Do you walk around the grocery store hunched over the shopping cart the whole time to relieve the pressure on your spine or are you perfect?
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Of course they dislike you. You're happy, they can't use you somehow, and you don't need them for anything.
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People know UFO doesn't mean alien spaceship with high speed low drag tech, right? It could be your mom in a high-altitude glider butt ass naked eating KFC.
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My dogs sleep on the bed with me and sometimes I wonder what might happen if I did meet someone again one day.. who's sleeping on the floor?
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Walking up to meet you in the parking lot on our first date like..
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Never cutting my hair and beard again. Going straight wizard.
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I rarely remember names so if you change your avi, farewell.
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Kinda dumb you have to workout just to have more energy. Seems like a design flaw. Do better next time, supreme being.
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If I saw someone drop money without realizing it, I'd tap them on the shoulder and point it out. A Reeses Peanut Butter Cup tho..? Nah, you slippin.
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"Looking for someone to match my energy!"
What energy, hip dysplasia? Go to fukkin bed.
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Sometimes ya just need a PB&J and to chill and breathe. Remember that it ain't that serious.
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So adorable when couples have each other's @'s in their bio.
blocked
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One day, you're forever alone and defeated. Then the next day, you're excited for lasagna and crockpot night while growing old together.
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Does Dairy Queen still turn the blizzard upside down before handing it to you? Sorcery.
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The only person who truly has your back in this life, is you. Take care of them.
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Showing up to our date, tired, exhausted, no game left in me. Hoping you're also tired, exhausted, no game left in you, so we can finally grow old and morph into Ewok's together.
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You're 40 now. Time to shave one side of your head and dye the other side hot purpley pink or some shit.
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Can't wait for the eclipse. Mainly so you people will stfu about it and go back to tweeting about cheese.
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Look, maybe I love you. Maybe I just drank my eighth cup of coffee.
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Imagine meeting someone that leaps outta bed first thing in the morning to start doing shit.. lol I'd be miserable
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In my twenties I would drive 10+ hours straight to hangout with someone. Now? lol I'm good
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I did the dishes earlier and almost threw out my back, how was your day?
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I might be crazy, but at least I don't reply to Twitter ads.
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Stuck between what's the fucking point anymore and keep going don't quit. It's maddening.
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Who needs a Fri night movie when you can just open Twitter to watch a drama unfold.
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Sometimes, I think it's wild how I've seen some of the same folks on here for years. Liking and laughing at each other's content. Yet, not knowing shit about each other. Then I go back to eating Oreos and minding my biz.
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Follow me if you don't DM people demanding that they delete a tweet.
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Learn the difference between someone wanting you, versus wanting to be there for you.
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Wings, garlic bread, and cookies tonight because living with the feeling of constant dread and doom works up an appetite.
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If we can't go shopping for matching caskets together, I don't want it.
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Thanks for liking my tweets. They come from a place of pain and suffering and growing up on 80's movies.
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I'm so grateful everyday I was able to adventure out when I was young to see the world, meet some amazing people, break bread with different cultures, and experience life.
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Happy and decent people are supportive. Especially when you've been trapped in a pit for years and are finally trying to climb out. They don't scoff or ridicule. They encourage you to keep going and be inspiring. Be mindful of those around you and the energy they give off.
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Went on a date once and my back pain began acting up in a horrible way and the girl actually became angry about it and that pretty much sums up why I'd rather just grow old alone and happy even though I joke around a lot about finding someone.
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"Stop being so dramatic."
[lights myself on fire] What do you mean?!
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Four bowls of cocoa krispies cereal at 2AM because I'm an adult.
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