David
@DPB0101
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Following
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hooker, waitress, model, actress
Your Dad’s Dirtiest Thoughts
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@lou_m_cypher
He’s up at 4 Am cooking for that man all fun and flirty like. I know he calls that dick Red Bull because that man is far too energized for that time of day.
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@upupdowndown
As a nurse, I always tell people to get a second opinion if your primary doctor makes this type of “brush off” statement. I’ve seen way too many people, especially bigger people, lose body parts or even their life from a Dr giving the old LOSE WEIGHT talk without going deeper
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So my therapist asked “What has made you happiest this week?”
My reply : “Finding out my ex and his current husband are the proud owners of a joint Facebook account which means someone’s already cheated and I bet I know which one”
My therapist wasn’t that impressed 🫠
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So Carrie Underwood is an anti-masker? Jesus take the wheel indeed 😷
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I guess you have Covid because you certainly lost your sense of taste.
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@plastiquetiara
Is this a school? It’s time for the Twitter Detective Agency to hunt these fools down and ruin their lives for good.
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@SheaCoulee
I had an old Capital One card that’s only had a 500 limit but they charged me 50 bucks a year to have it so I closed the account because I never used it and it dropped my score 40 points. Credit scores are a scam especially when there’s 3 or 4 that all have different numbers
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@mistergeezy
Me as a security guard making $15 an hour not risking my life for bags that cost more than I make in a day
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@tousleshommes
While I don’t think it’s a widespread saying, my Aunt Mary always said “he likes his tea a little TOO sweet” 😂
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@stephaniesbutt_
@PrinceZexu
PLEASE don’t do this Drag Race fans. Queens doing it to another Queen is one thing but we aren’t their friends typically so be respectful and call them by their Drag name especially if they are in full gear and working.
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How old will you be this year?
49 (July)
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@LordeCali
@its_just_marc
Captain America : AVENGERS! THE FIGHT IS MOVING TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE CITY!
Black Widow :
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I mean, I’d shoot a load in him but I won’t vote for him 💁🏻♂️
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@MxKantEven
I always tell people if I make plans and it’s above your price range, just let me know and it will be covered. Growing up dirt poor, there were so many things I never got to do because of money being scarce. If I really want or need you there, I’ll make sure it happens.
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@BrennanClarneau
@LilNasX
Go ahead a shed that tear since you thought you did something and you didn’t.
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New haircut, gay rainbow and eye bags because this week has been a nightmare. XOXO 💋
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