Mr. Peanut
@MrPeanut
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The Internet: “But Mr. Peanut, it’s #NoNutNovember!”. My Brain:.Don’t say it.Don’t say it.Don’t say it.Don’t say it.Don’t say it.Don’t say it.Don’t say it.Don’t say it. Me: I. AM. A. LEGUME.
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how do you do. i'm the mister of peanuts. 🎩.⠀ 🧐. 🥜🥜🥜. 🥜 🥜 🥜. 👇 🥜🥜 👇. 🥜 🥜. 🥜 🥜. 👞 👞.
⠀ ⠀ ⠀ 🤠. 🥜🥜🥜. 🥜 🥜 🥜. 👇 🥜🥜 👇. 🥜 🥜. 🥜 🥜. 👢 👢.howdy. i'm the sheriff of peanuts.
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I’m officially 21, my friends! Before you ask, yes, I was just a baby. What can I say? It’s been a nutty year. Now someone get this peanut a beer! #MakeMyBirthdayNuts
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Well, wish I thought of this earlier. The Nut King . 💧💧💧💧. ( 🔵 _🔵 ) 🥜. 🥜. <( ) -----🥜. 🥜. / \ 🥜. / \ 🥜. || || 🥜.
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Who else would like to see that?!.
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🎶 break up with your kale chips 🎶 . 😏. 👊/🥜\_. _/¯ ¯\_. 🎶 i’m bored 🎶. 👋. \ 😜. 🥜 \_. _/¯ ¯\_.
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Cop: "Mr. Peanut, do you know why I pulled you over today?". Me: "Was I speeding?". Cop: "It's #NoNutNovember". Me: I. AM. A. LEGUME. Cop: Carry on.
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This year, instead of spending $5 million dropping me off a cliff again — please don’t — I’m spending it on the people who helped make the world a little less nutty. 2020 was a year for all of us. Let’s celebrate those who went #ANutAbove.
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Girl Scout cookie season is the best season. And Troop 6000 helps girls from New York shelters find comfort in community. So I’m buying 10,000 boxes to help them go #ANutAbove their goal — and donating them to a local food bank. (P.S. Tagalongs over everything, don’t @ me.).
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Anyone: *says anything*. Me: Do I look like I was born yesterday?
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The pet I want: 🐶. The pet I'm financially and emotionally prepared to care for: 🐠.
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The floor is a lifetime of free peanuts.
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My friends gave me a new giraffe friend! Any name ideas? Also what's a giraffe?
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Who wants to join my squad? All are welcome. It's pretty nuts.
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At this exact time two years ago, I was dead. Life is crazy.
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I drew a shellf portrait! What do you think?. ____. | |.____|____|____. ( O_o ). ) ( __. ( ) |’'‘’. | ⏝ | |.
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Thank you. A moment of silence is absolutely appropriate during this time.
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Tomorrow’s a big day! And while most of the world seems pretty big when you’re a baby, tomorrow is actually going to be huge.
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📍Me. |. |. | _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _. |.📍 Groceries I need |. to survive |. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _| . |. |. |.📍Snack aisle.
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Ladies, if he:. – has curves in all the right places.– insists on dressing formally for every occasion.– is known to crack under pressure.– has a fire Twitter feed despite being 102 years old.– is technically a legume. He's not your man. He's your #WingNut, Mr. Peanut.
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.@KoolAid Man, we couldn’t have done it without you. Thank you and your #magictears for instilling me with life! I tip my hat to you. #BabyNut
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according to my calculations. ━━━━━ ━━━.┃ ┃.┃ NUTS ┃.┃ ┃.└━━━━━━ ┘.7 ┃ 8┃ 9┃ / ┃.━┛━┛━. |━ ┛.4 ┃5 ┃6 ┃ + ┃.━┛━┛━┛━ ┛.1 ┃ 2 ┃ 3 ┃ = ┃.━┛━┛━┛━ ┛.
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You never really know someone until you hear them pronounce “pecan”.
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Whether you are scaling a rock wall or hitting a mid-afternoon wall at work, get a wholesome boost of goodness with #PlantersNUTrition.
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Playing with some new designs 🏀 Tag a friend who you KNOW could pull these off.
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Looks like I’ll have to remind Chet that “sampling” the nuts isn’t in his job description.
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Glad I was able to catch up with you, @KoolAid, it’s a nutty time right now. 🥜 #StayConnected #StayHome.
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𝙋𝙇𝘼𝙉𝙏𝙀𝙍𝙎.𝘾𝙊𝙈.
this website is nuts.
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I'm pleased to announce the most important development in culinary history: CHEEZ POWDER. It's pure Cheez Balls flavor in a shaker. You can tweet at me or reply below using #CheezBallsContest and telling me what food you'd put it on!. See rules:
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Looks like I’ll have to remind Chet that “sampling” the nuts isn’t in his job description.
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Alright, @Wendys. Roast this nut!.
It’s go time! You want the roast? Then let’s go! #NationalRoastDay.
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Being a baby definitely has its perks. All you babies out there – enjoy it while it lasts!
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I was today years old when I found out another commonly used term for Hazelnuts are “Filberts”. Here I am thinking "legume" was awkward. #TheMoreYouKnow.
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Really want my pacifier right now but getting out of my crib is gonna be a whole thing.
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It’s officially p̶u̶m̶p̶k̶i̶n̶ ̶s̶p̶i̶c̶e̶ 𝙝𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙮 𝙧𝙤𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙙 season.
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A record number of baseball games have been postponed this April. Maybe it’s time your WingNut sponsored a new favorite pastime, what should it be?.
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@lizwearstights Both? . Basically, when I died, Kool-Aid man's magic tears brought be back to life as a baby. But because the peanut aging process is different from that of a human, I have now completed the aging cycle & am back to my full adult self (105). I know, it's a lot.
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With #ValentinesDay around the corner, it's officially #CrunchTime! But don't worry, I've got your back. Together with @AskDrRuth, we are answering YOUR relationship questions. [🔊ON]
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There's nuttin' more important than family.
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#ValentinesDay. ｡ﾟﾟ･｡･ﾟﾟ｡.Roses R red. ﾟ･｡･ﾟ. ｡ﾟﾟ･｡･ﾟﾟ｡. Violets R blue. ﾟ･｡･ﾟ. ｡ﾟﾟ･｡･ﾟﾟ｡.U can't spell LEGUME. ﾟ･｡･ﾟ. ｡ﾟﾟ･｡･ﾟﾟ｡. w/o ME & U. ﾟ･｡･ﾟ.
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When #CrunchTime hits, ask yourself this: What would Mr. Peanut do? For inspiration, check out this never before seen extended cut of my Big Game commercial now! WARNING: It’s rated NUTS.
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