Got roughed up and Arrested by 20 ICE Agents in Minnesota today for being Awesome in a Giraffe onesie! Here's the unedited widescreen version!🦒💙 Please RT so Elon has to pay me TWITTER AD revenue money to be awesome around ICE and MAGA!

https://t.co/iZjr09IuB6

This thread is absolutely filled with men who never lettered in shit and are hopelessly underwater on their waterbed loans

🎄🤭🎄

If you see this tweet you should double-check if you're still following me because Elon likes to automatically remove followers in the middle of the night like some kind of Incelf on the Shelf. Retweet for visibility

@dieworkwear @VivekGRamaswamy @elonmusk For every like and retweet this gets, I will make the shoes larger

Ever since I called him "Sissy SpaceX" Elon likes to automatically unfollow people from my account in the middle of the night, so double check if you're still following me and retweet this for visibility

I’m trying to get #SissySpaceX to ban me again. Retweet this to piss him off

Katie Britt: Inside the Actors Studio (Points to @FrankConniff for the idea)

Can someone flesh out this storyline? Maybe add a funny neighbor and some jokes about Mom's job and this could easily be an Oscar winner.

Awoooo, Werewolves of London...

@HeatherThomasAF #MarjorieTaylorPeen

I recently lost about 225,000 Twitter followers, so you guys are gonna hafta retweet me a lot harder than usual today, my muchachos. The safe word is #FreeLiamNissan

Happy birthday, @m_millsey

Microsoft owns the trademark for X. This is just too good.

For reasons unknown my publicist Terry asked me to write my own prewritten obituary. Fine Cormac McCarthy - the world's most competent writer and whisky connoisseur - departed the earth on the same day a sentient wig possessed of an ancient evil was arraigned in Florida, a

This is my friend Reggie Bibbs. Reggie is the kindest and most loving person I have ever met. His face is disfigured from a rare genetic condition called ‘Neurofibromatosis.’ After many years of never leaving his bedroom, out of shame and embarrassment, Reggie finally summoned

Maps: The lightning speed of Ukraine’s counteroffensive in the Kharkiv region surprised even Ukrainian officials, who were still working on Monday to consolidate control of the areas they had seized. https://t.co/8KC2Dagqez