🌻 Emily Brandwin 🌻
@CIAspygirl
Followers
96,981
Following
336
Media
4,946
Statuses
57,020
Fmr CIA Disguise & Ops Officer, Improv Comic, Podcast Host, Media Pundit, Spokesperson, Public Speaker: Seen in GMA/Time/TheAmericans/WaPo Insta:ciaspygirl
Bangkok/Los Angeles/New York
Joined February 2009
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Pinned Tweet
Unless your daughters tell you to go to Cancun
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Hey
@SenatorCollins
not sure if you caught Trump’s Rose Garden speech, but I don’t think he’s learned his lesson.
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There are roughly 424,000 children in Foster Care….why don’t you start there?
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Merry Christmas Mr. President. For you, I give a
#Dimerick
(A Donald Limerick)
There once was an
#IMPOTUS
from Queens
Who asked Ukraine to intervene
A quid pro quo he sought
Oh but he got caught
Now he rage tweets from the latrine
#MerryChristmasMrPresident
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I can't wait until November so we can Socially Distance ourselves from Trump.
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It has notes of corruption, hints of sociopathic lying, robust racism & finishes with a pronounced quid pro quo.
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You hitched yourself to a dump truck, don't be surprised people think you're garbage.
Sean Spicer (
@seanspicer
) responds to
#DWTS
backlash: "I hope it will be a politics-free zone"
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Good news ladies, men won't be making decision about our reproductive rights because they don't have first hand experience!
Trump campaign attacks Joe Biden for lack of ‘firsthand experience’ being infected with COVID-19
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Alternative Math
Reporter: The U.S. has 4% of the global population and 24% of the world’s COVID-19 death, how is that a success?
McEnany: We use different numbers
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Kayleigh McEnany is only 32. And no matter what she accomplishes in her lifetime, she will forever be remembered as a racist who defended and enabled racism. That is her legacy.
Kayleigh McEnany said Trump's description of the coronavirus as "kung flu" was "linking it to its place of origin."
The term has been described as racist and offensive to Asian Americans, with Kellyanne Conway previously calling it "highly offensive."
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It's not harassment. It's just House Intelligence Committee locker room talk.
PRESIDENTIAL HARASSMENT! It should never be allowed to happen again!
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I motion to change Kid Rock's name to Rock Bottom.
All in favor?
Kid Rock Directs Sexual Slurs at Oprah, Insists He’s Not Racist, Is Helped Off Stage
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Good for you Nikki. You can’t change until you acknowledge your problem.
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I'm Jewish. I'm an American & served our country in the CIA. I love musical theater, "as seen on TV" products and carbs. Oh and I'm super duper one gazillion percent
#DisloyalToTrump
!
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I remember when I was on steroids. I earnestly told my husband that I could compete in the Olympics. He asked me "which sport" and I said "all of them."
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I know binders full of women who disagree with you Mitt.
Romney: "Moronic" for Dems to go after Trump's tax returns with legislative action
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Valentino Snowdrop print silk midi dress: $4,590
Being a colossal embarrassment on an international stage: Priceless
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If only Gym Jordan was as passionate about protecting children as he is about protecting Trump
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Maybe Trump is the Chosen One & he was chosen to be impeached.
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Inmate 8675309 is running for Congress
JUST IN: George Papadopolous has filed to run for Katie Hill's House seat
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Gym Jordan is about to have a bad day
George Clooney and Smokehouse Pictures will produce a docuseries about a decades-long abuse scandal in the athletic department at Ohio State University
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But 209K Dead Americans didn’t cause the White House to wear masks.
White House press sec. Kayleigh McEnany waits with others as Pres. Trump prepares to leave the White House to go to Walter Reed Medical Center after he tested positive for COVID-19.
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As a Jew I always wondered what Christmas morning was like....now I know.
#TrumpImpeachment
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Biden has the endorsement of 500 retired top military, national security officials.
Trump has the coveted Taliban endorsement.
The Taliban on Trump: "We hope he will win the election" and withdraw U.S. troops
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I started a sign up sheet: I’ll pack Lindsey’s things on Monday. Who wants Tuesday?
Lindsey Graham says he’s not going to live in a country where Trump is investigated and Biden isn’t
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Hate to see how he uses a condom
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I'm not surprised that Trump drew on the map, I'm surprised he didn't draw boobs on the map.
The President of the United States altered a National Hurricane Center map with a sharpie to falsely extend the official forecast toward Alabama so he didn't have to admit he was wrong in a tweet.
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The only reason Trump keeps saying there’s no “Quid Pro Quo” is because he just learned how to pronounce “Quid Pro Quo.”
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Hi Buddy, you're getting Newsweek confused with your failed businesses:
Trump Steak
Trump Airlines
Trump Vodka
Trump Magazine
Trump Mortgage
Trump: The Game
Trump University
Trump Ice
Tour de Trump
Trump on the Ocean
Trump Network
Trumped!
Trump Institute
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Alex, I’ll take “Things that never happened at the
#G7Summit
” for a $1000.
The question I was asked most today by fellow World Leaders, who think the USA is doing so well and is stronger than ever before, happens to be, “Mr. President, why does the American media hate your Country so much? Why are they rooting for it to fail?”
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As a reminder that irony is alive and living in D.C, Nunes co-sponsored "Discouraging Frivolous Lawsuits Act"
Devin Nunes Sues CNN For More Than $435 Million Over Ukraine-Biden Report
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At least 24 migrants have died in ICE custody.
Outbreaks of scabies, shingles & chickenpox were spreading among detainees.
OIG found 41 detainees living in a cell built for eight, 155 occupying a room for 35. People trapped in these rooms stand on toilets to gain breathing space.
CNN is so dishonest. Today we took reporters to a detention facility on the border for families and children and all told us they were being treated well.
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Weird....I just listened to Biden's speech and he didn't say Haters or Losers...it was...what's the word I'm searching for....Presidential.
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Charlie Brown: I have the saddest Christmas Tree.
Rockefeller Center: Hold my beer.
Could the Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree look any worse?
2020on brand...
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"She's 15" is trending---it's either about the Olympics or Matt Gaetz has a new girlfriend.
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Biden overcame a stutter, talked for over an hour nonstop while being heckled & stumbled over a couple of words. You took 30 seconds to “mock” him & misspelled just. Take a seat.
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Hey Susan Collins, I don't think Trump has learned his lesson.
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Not Today Satan
1 Act
Man: You have a smile for me?
Me: (Silence)
Man: Smiles are free, give me one
Me: (Silence)
Man: You'd be prettier if you smile
Me: (Silence)
Man: Didn't anyone teach you to respect your elders
Me: I did respect you by not telling you to fuck off sooner
fin
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Where are your tax returns?
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Guess we know who's gonna cover the Federal Prison beat for Newsmax
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Apologies Japan. When the White House sends its people, they’re not sending their best.
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Ted - A Little Marital Advice:
Defend your wife first....then the beans.
First wife....then beans. Wife...beans.
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Obama warned you about Flynn
Sally Yates warned you about Flynn
Comey warned you about Flynn
So...either you're lying about Flynn or you're lying about having a great memory.
It now seems the General Flynn was under investigation long before was common knowledge. It would have been impossible for me to know this but, if that was the case, and with me being one of two people who would become president, why was I not told so that I could make a change?
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Mocking Biden who overcame a stutter. You can take a woman out of the Trump White House but you can’t take the Trump White House out of a woman.
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Living
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Looking forward to seeing you on "Dancing with the Stars"
I offered to resign last night and President Trump said, "Let's talk about it tomorrow."
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What should scare every American is the silence from the GOP, the deafening silence from the public servants we elected to keep our nation safe. Remember this silence in 2020. They are not patriots they're partisan hacks who care more about their agenda then our national security
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Just when you think he can’t get any dickier...
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Every time Trump mentions the Bible, an angel rolls its eyes.
Numerous states introducing Bible Literacy classes, giving students the option of studying the Bible. Starting to make a turn back? Great!
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Wonder if Chris Wallace is going to ask Trump the million dollar...I mean the $421Million dollar question?
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In 2020, we will find a cure for Windmill Cancer.
Trump: "I never understood wind, I know windmills very much, I've studied them more than anybody...tremendous fumes, gases are spewing into the atmosphere, you know we have a world, the world is tiny compared to the universe.."
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I’m turned off by a Governor who threw away his vote & couldn’t put country before party by voting for the only candidate who can beat Trump thereby ending our never ending national nightmare.
Turned off by Trump, Maryland’s GOP governor casts write-in vote for Ronald Reagan
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During the quarantine, I'd scroll through instagram & see friends hanging out with friends, extended family, traveling, etc. I kept thinking "How are they not getting Covid." I recently found out that they all did get Covid. 🤦♀️
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Trump visited his properties over 550 times, costing tax payers $2million via Secret Service protection.
But lobsters…Mmmkay
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Name them. Shame them. And don't vote for them.
These are the Republicans blocking health care for veterans with cancer.
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I beg your pardon. Oops, I mean you begged for a pardon.
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People in glass houses who go to Cancun while their home state is declared a national disaster shouldn’t throw stones or tweet
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Also a must read....the PDB
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New bigger wall around the White House. Trump’s right, the wall is protecting us from rapists.
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To show her support, Judge Jeanine should totally tape her show at a protest.
Fox's Jeanine Pirro praises organizer against Michigan's stay-at-home orders: "A lot of people are very proud of you ... Peaceful protests, civil liberties, it's what we're all about. Keep going."
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Things would be better if your dad valued warning signs as much as dollar signs.
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Because he is.
How is it the "neutral" CNN moderator can sit there and call the sitting president a racist?
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Apologies Paris. When the White House sends its people, they're not sending their best.
I am in Paris getting ready to celebrate the end of World War One. Is there anything better to celebrate than the end of a war, in particular that one, which was one of the bloodiest and worst of all time?
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Thx for asking! My fav way to unwind is to spend money at pharmacies that don't limit women's access to birth control. Oh & your Health Pac is a big donor to Trump & his administration has worked tirelessly to limit women's reproductive freedom. How do you unwind?
#CVSDeniesCare
It’s
#NationalRelaxationDay
& we’ll use any excuse for
#selfcare
. 💝 What's your favorite way to unwind?
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Doctor, I don’t know how the gerbil got up there.
Ex-National Security Council official testifies that President Trump's July 25 Ukraine call was moved to highly classified server by "mistake"
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Happy 245th birthday America. I heard the perfect gift for a 245 year old is vaccinations. I don’t make up the rules.
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I personally know twenty women who have either been sexually harassed or assaulted. I don't know one woman who has ever lied about it.
#BelieveChristine
#Kavanaugh
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Speaking of stolen valor.... tell us more about your Dad’s fight at Battle Bone Spur
Hey Da Nang Dick, You know what’s unpatriotic?
Stolen Valor!
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You guys, I starting to really like sportsball.
Full on “LOCK HIM UP! LOCK HIM UP!” chants heard throughout the crowd at Nats Park after President Trump was announced and shown on screen here
#WorldSeries
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Robert De Niro won
2 Oscars (9 Nominations)
Kennedy Center Honors
2 Golden Globes
Presidential Medal of Freedom
AFI Lifetime Achievement Award
SAG Lifetime Achievement
Cecil B DeMille Award
Jim Caviezel was nominated for a MTV Movie Award
De Niro isn't losing sleep over Jim
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You guys, I’m loving Chuck Todd 2.0
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Just returned from vacation. I realized that 60% of international travel is exploring a new culture & 40% is apologizing for Trump.
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Wait....you’re telling me this guy committed perjury?!
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Who’s a big boy reading things without pictures....
President Obama’s top White House lawyer, Gregory B. Craig, was indicted yesterday on very serious charges. This is a really big story, but the Fake News New York Times didn’t even put it on page one, rather page 16.
@washingtonpost
not much better, “tiny” page one. Corrupt News!
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I remember those years at the CIA working in the Deep State Department in the "Plotting & Scheming" branch. You have to pass rigorous tests before they accepts you, like being able to perfectly twirl an evil imaginary mustache.
Asked whether the summary firing of LTC Alexander Vindman was justified Graham says Vindman was part of broader plot against President Trump by FBI Agents, CIA Agents and DOJ Lawyers.
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And poor Eric was so bummed when he found out he wasn't going to meet Free Willy.
President Donald Trump's erratic spelling habits on Twitter spouted again when he wrote about having recently met with the "Prince of Whales"
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It's not a CIA "Agent" it's a CIA Officer...but heck it doesn't matter, you're not super concerned with facts.
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Don’s tweet is destroying my theory that Eric’s the dumb one.
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Think Barr called in sick, he came down with a case perjuritus
Attorney General William Barr will not testify before a House committee hearing tomorrow. He previously objected to a plan for lawyers to ask questions at the hearing.
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There’s doubling down
There’s tripling down
And there’s just pathetic
The Failing New York Times stated, in an article written by Obama flunky Peter Baker (who lovingly wrote Obama book),”Even after the President forecast the storm to include Alabama.” THIS IS NOT TRUE. I said, VERY EARLY ON, that it MAY EVEN hit Alabama. A BIG DIFFERENCE.....
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Fact: If you’re using the Taliban as your defense, you’re on the wrong side of the argument
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If Gaetz thinks Captain Kangaroo is malicious, wait until he meets Mr. Green Jeans.
Matt Gaetz: "What we see in this impeachment is a kangaroo court and Chairman Schiff is acting like a malicious Captain Kangaroo."
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If Collins loses, I think she will learn her lesson.
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He only tweeted this because he doesn't know how to spell Saudi Arabia.
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If we get Sex Blimps, it'll be a Goodyear.
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Related, I'm 0% comfortable with our current male president.
Only 45% of American men would feel "very comfortable" with a female president!
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The Evita reboot really blows.
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