Purveyor of
#FirstWorldProblems
I ⚜️ Pistolette Twitter⚜️ | Scorpio Coven | Probably Humming Unknown/Nth 🪽Right Now | My Angels Are Drunk | All tweets my own
Not this girl thinking she was dreaming & hearing voices & it was actually her BF’s mom standing over her while she was asleep talking about how she wanted to harm her!
“Mama I need my birth certificate to see what time was I born?”
“Mama? Did I get the smallpox vaccine?”
“Aye ma? Did I have a Pell grant or nah?”
Mama heading back to her box of papers again:
@beetaylora
I saw a dermatologist w/a disclaimer thst she didn’t look at any male skin issues below the waist. I was like are they seriously cutting up at the DERMATOLOGIST’S office? What did they do to this lady?? 😩
The ultra wealthies that put inheritances in trust funds & only provide allowances or require approval for large sums until like 35 HAVE THE RIGHT IDEA.
This is how families’ fortunes disappear w/in a generation or 2 😭
Just watched a short documentary abt a girl that was stolen from the hospital as a baby. She admitted she was unimpressed by her birth parents when she met them & was glad she was raised by the kidnapper parents b/c they loved each other & weren’t divorced like the bio parents
I wish the FACTS of the Tuskegee experiment had been taught correctly so that ppl understood that they WITHHELD treatment, not infected healthy ppl. 😭
It’s a PERFECT example of knowing *just enough* to be dangerous, b/c ppl are STILL citing it incorrectly as a reason not to vax
@maediocre
Just having the discussion a cpl weeks ago about how men Villainize the gossiping among women b/c it allows the sharing of info about bad behavior 🫤
@MercedesPichl
You know how sometimes people have a cat, and they don’t notice the litterbox anymore, but then someone else walks into their house & the smell hits them in the face?…….yeahhhhh that’s what’s going on here Merc
@killahBEENbee
I used to think people’s moms were being SOOOO dramatic when they left whole Standard Operating Procedures and daily labeled meals when they’d go out of town....but then I met men 🤣
@LaCienegaBlvdss
I’m sorry this is so ridiculous I’m crying 😂😂
I LOST IT when he said “DID THAT MF PAY EXTRA TO YELL?!?” B/c why would you say that😂😂😂😂
@TheConradJay
Wait til you decide to take a chance & send a “you up” text to a man 45+ & he replies at 6:30am (when he wakes up to watch the news😭) “did you need something last night sweetheart? I can help you out later today, I hope it wasn’t an emergency”
@ycsm1n
“I like the responses I got from other people when I posted your body in a vulnerable state so I left it up even though you specifically said you didn’t want to share that image, my bad”
#ElectricChair
@chinicheeks
A lady in my travel group asked a jewelry seller in Tanzania if the shapes on her bracelets meant anything. She said no, they were just random scribbles basically & the lady was like “NO! When Americans ask you this, ALWAYS say yes!! Make up a lil story chile & charge double!”🤣
@Nyx_19
LMAOOOO that was me when we lived next door to my grandparents. My mom was like WHOOOOO TF is knocking on our door @ midnight?!?!?
My grandfather w/a plate of perfectly crispy edged pancakes😂:
Yesterday my Uber driver complimented my perfume and I told her what it was. She said the thought of spending $100 on a perfume was too much as a single mom.
I ended up tipping her the amount so she could buy it. She said she's never -
@DoreenCaven
Once I realized that you have to be 100% on board with possibly parenting alone and possibly not having a traditional family unit or the one you envisioned I knew it wasn’t for me b/c I was 100% NOT ok with doing it alone
@AYANLAVANZANT
There’s an event every few months in my area for to adopt black dogs because they are the least adopted as well, especially larger ones. I found out shelters actually call it “Black Dog Syndrome” 😩.
@Original_Vaughn
@Morehouse
I’m always impressed that the babies stay quiet with the professors in these posts. Like there’s never one where the baby screams and reaches for the parent and won’t stay put until mom takes them back from the prof. lol. I guess they can sense the positive energy.
@nottramar
That was v. interesting to me but I kept quiet 😭. Was it at least like beauty supply store ? Any combs? Butters? Oils? Hoop earring? Edge control?
Plus wasn’t she kinda nasty to ppl on the TL?
@niajanelle__
Yes😭 which is why I am only a part-time baddie lol. I go through phases of being hair did nails did everything did to twisting my own hair & painting my own nails in front of the TV b/c I just don’t feel like coordinating all the appointments
@bobeaubreaux
I never thought I’d be offended by being asked out for drinks but here we are😩. I’m oh REALLY??? You want to grab a drink??? So you don’t care if I live or die now huh???
@OgLakyn
Sorry fren, she looks like the great aunt that the family is discussing getting a conservatorship on so she doesn’t donate all of her husband’s life insurance payout to cat rescues😭
@_ParadiseParis
Remember they said on here the other day that When women are done with you we start talking to you like HR representatives? 🤣🤣🤣🤣 👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾
@AdamantxYves
I honestly think that some ppl use “black” pejoratively in private so much they forget its not actually a negative word. Others are just paranoid of being offensive. But I side eye anyone that hesitates saying black in public like 🤨 what have you been saying in private Karen???
@AllDaWayUp
Omg! the day I actually felt I was finally an adult was when it smacked me in the face that no one was 100% the good guy or bad guy. It was like 🤯
@foreverimbetter
THIS IS NOT AMERICAN LOL this is dumb lol. B/c even if you don’t drink hot tea everybody drinks iced tea or even coffee & you know you gotta brew it THROUH some kinda bag or filter 🤣🤣🤣
@ImamBiden
Assuming this isn’t fake, there’s definitely some DEEP sibling or parent/sibling dynamics going on that pre-date that baby’s birth. “She close to have a baby” & “my sister’s baby” not “niece/nephew”. Definitely jealousy or feeling neglected by the mom or something
My rule of thumb is that you can pretty much trust the cooking of people that acknowledge that they have cousins. Cajuns, Creoles, Italians, Greeks…. 🤣
@PrettyInBri
Unless you lock it & keep the key on you at all times kids will find everything. I know this personally b/c there is not an INCH of my childhood home that I have not been through w/a fine tooth comb🤣. I will take it to my grave as far as my parents know but yeah. 🤣
@CharleneTeglia
Somone tweeted a few months ago(or a year ago who the hell knows at this point LMAOOOOO ) that they were passing by a house party & heard everyone loudly announcing how they couldn’t smell the food & how that seemed like a foreshadowing scene for a plague horror movie.
#Same