Andy Kindler
@AndyKindler
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7,129
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2,310
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127,335
A Comedium. Mort on #BobsBurgers Podcast: @thought_spiral with @JElvisWeinstein #FOT he/him
Los Angeles
Joined February 2010
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Pinned Tweet
RFK Jr. is still lying about the Covid vaccine. Cheryl Hines doesn’t care. They both want power. Hence the power couple. It’s transparently disgraceful. And it’s all about their own massive egos.
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Mexico has volunteered to pay for the walls that are closing in on Trump.
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"Jewish Republicans" cheering at the prospect of our country closing its doors to asylum seekers must have really short term memories.
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Joe Rogan was a terrible standup, who made grunting noises to get laughs. Jimmy Dore wasn’t even funny in conversation. Russell Brand was an uptempo fast talking hack turned fast talking grifter. Adam Carolla was always a bullying racist trying to pass as edgy. I could go on.
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In my day we didn’t have Tinder. If we saw someone attractive we went home and cried for a week.
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"I heard you were responsible for like 30 million deaths. That's crazy." Jimmy Fallon interviewing Stalin
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@realDonaldTrump
Sadly your racism is poisoning your barely functioning brain. You are a terrible person.
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Covid-19 was caused by Donald Trump making out with a bat. A lot of people are saying this.
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I did a joke at the Improv about being the first comedian to joke about the differences between men and women and literally no one had any idea what I was talking about. If we lose the memory of hack comedy are we even alive?
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I think the nickname “Sleepy Joe” is backfiring. After 4 years of Trump “Sleepy Joe” sounds relaxing.
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I put a curse on Trump 45 years ago when he weaseled out of paying my dad who was a plumbing and heating contractor in Queens. The point is, it might take awhile, but never let go of your dreams.
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STILL HOLDS UP!!!
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Once at a comedy club in the 80's my parachute pants didn't open onstage.
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Being against trans rights will and should be the defining issue of our times. Whether you think you’re the greatest author or tennis player of all time, it doesn’t matter. You will forever be defined by your callous inability to accept people for who they are.
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I think it's funny how angry people get if you don't enjoy
@SenSanders
. I don't like him that much. Not a fan. In fact he bothers me a little bit. I find him almost as annoying and self-righteous as
@SusanSarandon
so sue me.
P.S. He peaked with the bird trick.
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This demented MAGA hack is insufferable. And profoundly stupid.
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I find it depressing that anyone with a functioning brain goes on Bill Maher’s show. Just stop. He’s a colossally bigoted asshole. Don’t encourage him.
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I went on a DNA site and found out that Hitler had one of my cousins twice removed.
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This settles it for me. It’s GIF like gift and the guy who came up with it is pronouncing it wrong. He didn’t invent pronounciation.
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How poorly organized was crime that Rudy Giuliani was able to take it down?
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I’m unfollowing
@cenkuygur
and anyone else looking to weaponize the homeless problem in LA by throwing their support behind a crony capitalist billionaire. I will vote for
@KarenBassLA
because I’m a thinking human being. Please join me.
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It’s “funny” that Louis C.K didn’t like fans asking to take a photo with him because he thought it was intrusive.
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Bill Maher always sucked. First he sucked at standup comedy. 50 years later his delivery is fascistic and stiff. He needs ten writers to come up with 6 mediocre topical jokes every week. He’s a racist and a xenophobe. He’s a chicken hawk. His face IS a penis.
#WhiteWingHack
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I've been informed and since verified that this joke was done on the
@TeamCoco
show with
@ConanOBrien
. I apologize to the universe. Of course it wasn't on purpose. Everyone knows I'm honest and don't steal material. If I did my act would be stronger.
Mexico has volunteered to pay for the walls that are closing in on Trump.
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When people say don't watch Louis CK's "special" if you don't like him, I say, right back at you. If it offends your delicate sensibilities, don't read the comments expressing outrage about what a remorseless creep he is, was, and will continue to be.
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Rob Schneider was almost funny in the 80’s for 2 or 3 seconds. Now he’s a tiny (my size) Nazi who wears stupid hats to try to prevent what’s left of his brain from escaping. He’s ALWAYS been a bullying hack. He happily resides in a luxury condo deep in Adam Sandler’s ass.
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I don't list Harvard in my Twitter bio because I don't need to brag about my educational background and I didn't go to Harvard.
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There goes my idea to open a string of Sherbet Hemsley’s.
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The Devil’s Triangle is a drinking game where sexual predators compete for a seat on the Supreme Court.
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I’m not personally a fan of BJ Novak. But you have to separate the art from the artist. That movie he wrote, directed, and starred in was unwatchable. But that’s separate from him being an insufferable narcissist.
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Bill Maher will be remembered for nothing positive. He’s a terminally awful standup. He foisted Sam Harris on the world. Ann Coulter. Andrew Sullivan. The absolute worst. Thinks he’s edgy to bash the woke. And scientists agree he’s a throughly unpleasant misogynistic bully.
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Aaron Rodgers says Joe Rogan is his friend like he’s name dropping Einstein. You consult Joe Rogan when deciding how much butter to add to your coffee, not when risking the lives of your teammates because you’re an ignorant pampered entitled scared baby.
#TimeToWokeUpCreep
.
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Bill Maher is, HAS BEEN, and always will be a bottom feeding, hate mongering immoral racist. He wants to get people who hate immigrants to watch his shit show. I’ve been on his show. I’ve seen him interact. He’s an evil, immoral, and talentless hack. A greedy unfunny fascist.
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As a 63 year old still confused about “who I am” I can’t imagine ever telling someone else that who they identify as is wrong. It’s literally none of your business.
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I will always love Bob Saget. He was the same age as me, so we shared the same references. Having experienced tragedy in his own family, he was hilariously irreverent about everything. As a person he was extremely sweet and kind.
#RipBobSaget
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We’re not TV. We’re HBO. And yet it’s 2024 and we have a talk show hosted by Bill Maher, an elderly hate mongering unfunny white wing fascist.
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I really miss performing for other people. This guy knows what I’m talking about.
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George Floyd was tortured and murdered in broad daylight. Any focus on looting is a garbage tactic that Nazis like Trump employ to try to change the narrative. Trump is a genocidal sociopath. This will never be about people grabbing sneakers. He’s Hitler. Wake up. Thanks!
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After 37 years of standup comedy what do I have to show for it? Two solid hours of anti-Leno material.
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I’m old enough to remember when people knew they were overusing a phrase.
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This hellhole is destroying my belief in humans. The hate is overwhelming. I don’t want to interact with fascists and Nazis. Hence the restrictions on replies. Meanwhile I will be frequenting this sewer less.
Trans Rights Are Human Rights. Period.
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I don’t see the difference between Bill Maher and any other white supremacist. He hates Muslims. He hates black people and loves the N word. He hates Palestinians. He’s a giant xenophobic asshole.
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Good riddance Pat Sajak. Have fun hosting CPAC, or whatever wealthy white wingers do when they retire from a job they hated after their dream of being Bland Johnny Carson is crushed.
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This is heartbreaking. I loved this man. He’s a comedy hero. His appearances on Letterman were sublime. I got to hug him once.
#RIPGenius
@TheRichardLewis
Comedian and 'Curb Your Enthusiasm' Star Richard Lewis Dead at 76 - People
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After a few years of therapy I don’t hate myself anymore. I’m just disappointed.
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Keep calling them “skit ideas.”
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She’s Marjorie TAYLOR Greene because there was already a Marjorie Greene in the Nazi Guild.
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Twitter is run by an asshole who smeared Paul Pelosi with a homophobic lie. Please don’t lecture me about Twitter etiquette. I have to restrain myself from just tweeting fuck fascism every 30 seconds.
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Trump claims he saw thousands of Muslims in New Jersey booing the solar eclipse.
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I don’t think this
@Starbucks
sensitivity class really helped. I just got a cup of coffee and the barista wrote "Jew" on it.
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Oh my God. This is such terrible news. What a tragedy. I loved this man. So so funny.
Completely devastated.
Michael Brooks
Rest in Power, paisan.
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Jill Stein did everything Ralph Nader did, except backwards and in sensible shoes.
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I’m unfollowing
@jimmy_dore
. I’ve known him for about 25 years from standup. He was NEVER offering ridiculous opinions until he adopted his current shtick. I suspect it’s all a cynical ploy to make $$$$ and attract attention. If he really believes what he spews it’s even worse.
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Hermosa Beach, 1980. I was extremely high and I remember trying to defeat the camera with my intense electric kool aid acid test gaze.
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Dear everyone: Don’t go on Joe Rogan’s show. He’s the enemy of anyone with a working brain. If you have a working brain, you will regret it.
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Shame on
@CherylHines
for supporting a deranged MAGA asshole for president. This article made me nauseous.
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Richard Pryor and George Carlin weren’t racists and didn’t support a Nazi for president.
@adamcarolla
Where are the comedians ? I thought they were the ones who pushed back against the Man ? Or are they cowards scared of the mob ? Richard Pryor and George Carlin are rolling over in their graves
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.
@espn
should fire any employee who doesn't correctly identify Trump as a white supremacist.
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“His penis looks great.” - I just heard a doctor say this matter-of-factly to another doctor at Cedars-Sinai.
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Me in 1981 disturbing neighbors in Hermosa Beach with my beloved Ibanez Les Paul copy and Frank Wyatt on bass and Goyo Sabogal on drums.
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If you were a teacher, and woke up one morning to find out the worst teacher in the history of the universe got 100 million dollars to dispense lies about vaccines, then you know how standup comics feel about Joe Rogan.
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This is garbage
#whataboutism
. I’m on the left. We’ve denounced Farrakhan forever. I’m surprised you didn’t bring Bill Ayers into this. Go back to pretending to know what Trump is really thinking.
@maggieNYT
Farrakhan's words matter, too: It's about time the left universally denounced his anti-Semitism - NY Daily News
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You will never be funny. There’s nothing funny about a white South African who embraces the politics of a Nazi white supremacist and Putin puppet. Smearing Paul Pelosi isn’t clever. It’s criminal. Your “comedy” is non-existent. You’re a sadistic bully and a coward.
@elonmusk
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I hope Trump had a long enough meeting with Putin to hear his hilarious poisoning anecdotes.
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Congrats on your new book you evil lying corrupt money-grubbing fascist-loving racist-friendly Trump boot-licker.
@jasoninthehouse
Just got the pre-production run of my new book, The Deep State. Available for order now, ships in Sept.
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I just got off the phone with Lorne Michaels. I’m on SNL! Get ready for my old white guy sketches about AARP and Consumer Cellular.
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A white nationalist, an anti-Semite, and a Holocaust denier walk into a bar. The bartender says: Welcome to Mar-a-Lago.
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Why did you stop booking me in 1990?
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Love to every sensitive soul trying to get through this strange and frightening time. Please don't let the anger remove your humanity.
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Why is
@HillaryClinton
speaking in a voice louder than a whisper? It's not very ladylike. She should deliver all her speeches in an apron.
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I just saw a cricket in the living room . I haven’t done comedy in a club for so long he just wanted to check on me.
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“Whatever side you’re on.” - cable news staple.
I’m on the side that’s against having a Nazi president.
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It’s just a matter of time before Joe Rogan starts bringing on “expert” Holocaust deniers. He’s just asking questions people.
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Did you watch an episode of Gomer Pyle anytime between the years 1964 and 1989? You may be entitled to compensation.
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I couldn't care less about the National Anthem. I want racism to end. If a racist madman tells you to stand it's time to kneel.
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Before Joe Rogan became a spokesman for fascism, he was an aggressively unfunny misogynist hack comic who made animal sex sounds onstage.
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Kevin Durant says he's skipping the White House visit and his Warriors teammates 'all agree'
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As an American I am deeply ashamed that this genocidal racist madman got even one vote.
#WakeUp
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Jimmy Dore’s comedy act was atrociously boring. He was a hack in the true sense. Didn’t have a point of view. Just wanted to get laughs but couldn’t. So of course he must be a genius at politics and the only honest man on the planet. I’m sure his insights are vitally important.
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Playing violin never made me as happy as this photo indicates. I must be thinking about something else, like playing the guitar.
Thanks to Audrey Halpern for sending me the original print.
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