alyssa mastromonaco
@AlyssaMastro44
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jam maker. rescue cat mom. some days Nancy Drew, others Ramona Quimby. books, #hysteria , producer.
New York
Joined April 2014
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Pinned Tweet
as per usual,
#hysteria
listeners are the best. I got so many apfelstrudel recipes this year and a lovely lady named Cornelia from Germany sent the one that is definitely closest to the recipe Omie used. so grateful!!
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hi from 100K in St. Louis for Barack Obama 10/08 😉
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you made barack obama produce a birth certificate 48 yrs after the fact
Requiring an FBI investigation of a 36 year old allegation (without specific references to time or location) before Professor Ford will appear before the Judiciary Committee is not about finding the truth, but delaying the process till after the midterm elections.
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that's a fucking lie. to say president obama (or past presidents) didn't call the family members of soldiers KIA - he's a deranged animal.
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let us know when you kill Bin Laden
We have made more progress in the last nine months against ISIS than the Obama Administration has made in 8 years.Must be proactive & nasty!
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the mask wearing face of man who understands being a role model is bigger than endorsement deals
@PatrickMahomes
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goes without saying but
@ewarren
is literally the opposite of our current President in every way humanly imaginable
#PrideMonth
is a celebration. And it’s a time to remember the trailblazers who fought for LGBTQ+ civil rights. Today—and every day—we renew our commitment to fight until everyone can live proudly, without fear. I’ll be right there alongside you. Happy
#Pride
!
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File under: Things
@MichelleObama
knew, created programs to combat and YOUR DAD ROLLED BACK
We need to promote healthy lifestyles for America’s youth. In a recent survey, 9.5 million U.S. children reported that they did NOT once participate in any of over 100 sports or activities listed.
#YouthSports
@AspenInstitute
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During my time in the White House Ronny Jackson was my colleague, my friend and my doctor. I thanked him in my book for his good care. His comments yesterday and today leave me confused, angry, and heartbroken. I don't recognize this version of Ronny at all.
Today, I issued the following statement regarding recent false accusations from former Obama officials and the mainstream media.
#TX13
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if true, this is my kind of Avengers movie
According to “Mirror” Mariah Carey, Miley Cyrus, Katy Perry and Christina Aguilera are reportedly ready to launch a legal fund to fight for Britney Spears Freedom!!
#FreeBritney
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hey girl...so you're officially out of the club. you will never be let back in. you are a traitor. you have no empathy. no sisterhood.
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speaking of civility...on the eve of Barack Obama’s inauguration Mitch McConnell said he would make it his mission to obstruct his agenda and make him a one term president. while I don’t believe in retribution - I will make an exception today. we are coming for you.
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We disagreed. We just weren't assholes. We were heard. And if you didn't get your way you didn't go kick rocks and tell Politico.
As far as an outsider can tell, the Obama WH seemed a weirdly harmonious place - which also had costs, i.e. too much/too easy consensus
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happy bday
@jonfavs
—one of my fave pics of us bc we all look like we are solving a crime but we are really trying to see if the diner across the street is open
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good night.
Poll: Americans consider Barack Obama the greatest president of their lifetimes
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18th Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff 👇🏼👇🏼
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I gotta say - I didn’t think you COULD revise them. I really didn’t. I treated mine like a college thesis that involved marriage vows.
Jared Kushner has revised his financial disclosure form no less than 39 times
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oh hell no. back the fuck away from my flotus.
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I don’t know who needs to hear this but it’s very hard to stick to weight watchers and also watch cable news at night in 2020
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no one staffed her?!? she had to google hymns?!? you all know this is appalling to me.
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i don’t talk a lot about private conversations me and
@POTUS44
ever had but when I started a conversation with him about talent for the first inaugural he cut me off and said “Aretha”
#RIPArethaFranklin
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she also got rid of semiautomatic guns
BREAKING: New Zealand has now gone 100 days with no detected community spread of COVID-19, the Ministry of Health just confirmed
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my feels:
don’t tell
@ewarren
what to do
don’t tell
@BernieSanders
what to do
don’t dance on people’s graves
don’t deny the obvious
do be proud of what you’ve accomplished.
progressive policies do matter
keep doing the work
practice social distancing!
vote blue
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i realize i’m basically a stoner who makes jam at this point but uh....schumer is gonna shut down the senate or we burn it down, right?
this can’t be a forgone conclusion.
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every single witness feels more guilt and trauma about what happened than these police officers do.
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oh btw susan collins does Roe still feel like SETTLED LAW to you?!
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damn, girl. he does get the credit. just like you will get all the credit in the world for doubling down on a racist pedo
Can't make it up: Obama now wants credit for the booming Trump economy. At least we can all agree the economy is better under President Trump.
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Luke Perry is dead. We have no time for you. Please mute yourself.
“There is no Collusion. All of these investigations are in search of a crime. Democrats have no evidence to impeach President Trump. Ridiculous!”
@DevinNunes
@FoxNews
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do u guys think it’s gonna be Melania who yells “you lie!” tonight
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when we worked together Brennan took high risk trips often+I got wind of one that wld be a real high wire+he was flying coach commercial. I went to him to say “let me get you a plane, it will be so much safer” and he said “thank you so much, but no. That’s not how I do this” 🇺🇸
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@MichaelSkolnik
these are the siblings of sandy hook victims when we went to Newtown for the memorial service two days after the shooting. i think about this pic all the time 📸
@PeteSouza
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the first time I met
@BarackObama
and went to work for him I was 28 and today I am 44 and 44 is a great number so let’s make this year some change we can believe in 😂 (and hbd to
@davidaxelrod
also in this pic!)
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uh girl, how did you get here? you a first American? my Opa came here+worked in a steel plant. omie boxed up phone orders at Bamburgers. they paid taxes+raised good humans. when I became the youngest female deputy chief at the WH for 1st black president oma cried tears of pride
.
@TomiLahren
: "You don't just come into this country with low skills, low education, not understanding the language and come into our country because someone says it makes them feel nice. That's not what this country is based on."
@WattersWorld
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illegal use of an official WH account again
Shifty Schiff is inventing fake quotes from the President again. 🤦
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People always ask what the worst day in the WH was — it was 12/14/12 and of all the painful memories from the days that followed I will never forget
@BarackObama
saying as we were leaving for the memorial -“I need everyone’s name. The least I can do is say their names”
#SandyHook
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“I HEAR YOU” had to be scripted. I have nothing left.
President Donald Trump holds notes during a White House listening session with students and parents affected by school shootings. (AP Photo by Carolyn Kaster)
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bo was the best boy 💔
Today our family lost a true friend and loyal companion. For more than a decade, Bo was a constant, gentle presence in our lives—happy to see us on our good days, our bad days, and everyday in between.
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worth noting that
@SenGillibrand
is out hustling her ass off to get Dems elected and flip the Senate
I appreciate the warm welcome,
@Hickenlooper
! Looking forward to helping your campaign in whatever way I can.
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this is the best speech Joe Biden has ever given at exactly the right time. we are so lucky. he’s got it. he knows what to do. and he’s doing it.
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LADY YOU DID IT!!!! You did every single woman I know so proud. So many of us could never EVER have done this
#ThankYouDrFord
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i cannot believe Trump is going to get what is essentially a prime time address to announce SCOTUS - that nets will give him this insane audience and has yet to have to answer ANYTHING about why BABIES are appearing in immigration court. Seriously fuck all of this.
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the fuck it is.
It is highly fitting that Justice Barrett will fill the seat of a pioneer for women, Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg,
@realDonaldTrump
says.
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RIP Senator Reid, one of the absolute greatest
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fuck that guy
Nick Sandmann: "The media portrayed me as an aggressor with a relentless smirk on my face."
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I don’t know what to say about this other than it’s the truth and I could not respect
@aoc
more for how she handles this garbage when she should never ever have to
Rep. Ocasio-Cortez: "Mr. Yoho mentioned that he has a wife and two daughters. I am two years younger than Mr. Yoho's youngest daughter. I am someone's daughter, too. My father, thankfully, is not alive to see how Mr. Yoho treated his daughter."
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when I was deputy chief I was routinely made aware of events planned around DC or anywhere we would travel with potus. I’m talking 75-100 person tea party protests. it’s inconceivable the WH did not have intel on the scope of the Jan 6 plans. but it seems....
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I can’t wait to see a Broadway show again someday
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simple observation that Germany and New Zealand are both led by women and are crushing their curves ** New Zealand isn't just flattening its coronavirus curve. It's squashing it. - The Washington Post
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If pundits stopped saying a woman can’t win, a woman would win.
I was proud to fight beside
@SenatorReid
and
@BarackObama
to protect consumers—and I'll keep fighting to protect consumers as president of the United States. Watch our new ad airing in Nevada now.
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may our landscape be dotted with barack obama elementary schools ✌🏼
School honoring Confederate general to be renamed for Barack Obama
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i love weed. you know why? bc i am not perfect. i get anxiety. i get PMS. there are times when i can’t see the forest for the trees. people who use cannabis aren’t burn out stoners incapable of life. quite the opposite. we need the MORE Act and State’s Act.
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oh also
@realDonaldTrump
- my POTUS
@BarackObama
still has 40 million more Twitter followers than you so your hate reaches half as many as his hope
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may this live forever bc we never let it die.
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this is the truest thing on twitter 🤗 Monica Lewinsky Is God’s Gift to Twitter | Vogue
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god save the Queen.
Today is the 87th birthday of Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg
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after tonight there is no going back for any member of his cabinet or staff. they’re no longer complicit, they’re entirely culpable. there is no sufficient action short of triggering the 25th amendment tonight. we will never ever let you forget
#GrudgePac
@morninggloria
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OH HELL NO. You do not call
@SenGillibrand
- a woman who has spent her career fighting for for families, a mother, my sister “lightweight”. You sir, are the lightweight. And if you are trying to galvanize the
#Resistance
further, job well done ✌🏼
Lightweight Senator Kirsten Gillibrand, a total flunky for Chuck Schumer and someone who would come to my office “begging” for campaign contributions not so long ago (and would do anything for them), is now in the ring fighting against Trump. Very disloyal to Bill & Crooked-USED!
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kind of hard to draw a red line here, ladies .... pussy grabbing and making fun of disabled people were MAJOR flags you seem to have missed
Source also says women in admin, including Ivanka and Melania Trump, were "disgusted" by Scaramucci's language.
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I am crying I am I can’t help it you can disagree with his politics but you can’t argue with his actual love for people
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god save RBG
BREAKING: Supreme Court: Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, 85, hospitalized after fracturing 3 ribs in fall at court.
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2020 alert: if i say a candidate did something well, or interesting it doesn’t mean I’ve tossed everyone else into the dumpster. I prefer to note positive things (except abtTrump+people who hate clogs) so pls don’t @ me+tell me how disappointed u are in me, i have cats for that
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I hear that the Office of Special Counsel says this WH South Lawn obscenity is legal. Cool.
I was told by OUR counsel I shouldn’t hang the framed front page of the Poughkeepsie Journal from the night Obama won with a pic of me, POTUS-elect and
@danpfeiffer
smiling big
So, ok.
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of all the things that I could retweet this morning, I choose this
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for the record, I don’t know about you - but my mom would have locked me in my room, told me to think about what I had done for a GOOD LONG TIME and come down only when I could explain what I had learned. Trip to NBC would not have been included.
Sitting down with Nicholas Sandmann - the student at the center of the protest controversy at the Lincoln Memorial. Airs tomorrow on
@TODAYshow
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All day. Every day.
#44istheAllWeatherPOTUS
Obama always beats trump in the rain challenges
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Hi
@ABCNetwork
Ive given Roseanne a chance in hopes it cld help us understand what’s going on in this world. You must remove the show. I ask ALL SPONSORS to drop the show. Racist is as racist does. My friend
@ValerieJarrett
is empathetic, patriotic and kind. FUCK YOU ROSEANNE.
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legalize cannabis use
reform the laws
expunge records
work for equity and equality in the industry
use taxes from sales to build better schools, feed our citizens, fix our infrastructure ✌🏼
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my president wears white
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just in case anyone was wondering...YES ITS FUCKING NUTS THAT OFFICIAL WH STAFF ARE SPEAKING AT A CAMPAIGN RALLY while in their official capacity.
Trump has called up Kellyanne Conway, RNC chair Ronna McDaniel and Sarah Sanders together, creating a visual of himself surrounded by women. "I always said that women were smarter than men," he says.
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if
@danpfeiffer
and I were still working at the White House you can bet there would be a presidential statement on the passing of Luke Perry.
#RIPLP
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I love this stage. I love the flags. I love the lighting. I love the drive-in.
You did good
#BidenHarris2020
advance team!!!!
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here for it 🤗
NEW: Former Pres. Barack Obama will deliver a nationwide commencement message to the country's high school seniors on Saturday, May 16.
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Everyone needs to understand this and talk about it nonstop. So many people are unaware of the swift consequences we could face
If
#RoevWade
is overturned and gutted, only eight states—out of FIFTY—have constitutional protections for a woman’s right to abortion.
#WhatsAtStake
#SaveSCOTUS
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tonight the
@maziehirono
“hell no” when voting on Amy Coney Barrett expressed the anger...the rage at this total fucking hypocrisy so many of us feel tonight.
#thankyouMazie
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it is what it is
No former President has ever attacked his incumbent successor at a convention like Barack Obama tonight, or even come close.
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when i was 18, I met
@BernieSanders
when he came to register people to vote
@uvmvermont
- i was a French major but I was so overwhelmed by his message i applied for an internship and got it. It changed my life entirely + until i die i say health care is a human fucking right
Sen. Bernie Sanders slams the “cruel and dysfunctional” health care system in the US: “We are the only major country on Earth not to guarantee health care to every man, woman and child as a human right.
#CNNTownHall
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merrick garland and go fuck yourself and learn how the senate works
For FAR TOO LONG Senate Democrats have been Obstructing more than 350 Nominations. These great Americans left their jobs to serve our Country, but can’t because Dems are blocking them, some for two years-historic record. Passed committees, but Schumer putting them on hold. Bad!
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god can you just fuck off for the weekend?
The NFL National Anthem Debate is alive and well again - can’t believe it! Isn’t it in contract that players must stand at attention, hand on heart? The $40,000,000 Commissioner must now make a stand. First time kneeling, out for game. Second time kneeling, out for season/no pay!
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this woman is Keri Thompson and she’s my friend and we grew up together, graduated together and SHE IS MY QUEEN and she took down Harvey
#byeharvey
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i will dedicate my life to making sure she never sees the inside of the West Wing ever again
"Ivanka Trump thinks that she will president. She may even try to run for office by 2024, but she has a better chance of ending up in a jail cell than ever seeing the inside of the Oval Office again."
via
@politicususa
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explain to me right the fuck now how the
@USWNT
doesn’t deserve BETTER money than the men?!?
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thank you, RBG. rest in power. we all fight on ♥️💔♥️
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