Emergency Pants
@zwnyc
Followers
3,525
Following
2,867
Media
3,595
Statuses
50,546
Third assistant vice undersecretary to the adjunct office of the acting substitute helper. My long & varied career has been both varied & long. he/him
A van down by the river
Joined May 2009
Don't wanna be here?
Send us removal request.
Explore trending content on Musk Viewer
Vinicius
• 85526 Tweets
Neuer
• 70968 Tweets
Gaga
• 70037 Tweets
Natalie Elphicke
• 59093 Tweets
Chromatica
• 57334 Tweets
Bruno Mars
• 54969 Tweets
ANTT
• 53977 Tweets
Marseille
• 53172 Tweets
Suki
• 50739 Tweets
Gazzede SoykırımaDurDe
• 47505 Tweets
Mother's Day
• 46737 Tweets
Steve Albini
• 45275 Tweets
Gunna
• 41009 Tweets
#RMAFCB
• 36481 Tweets
Santiago Bernabéu
• 34313 Tweets
Piers Morgan
• 28657 Tweets
#EuroLeague
• 28603 Tweets
Fenerbahçe Beko
• 21570 Tweets
Kimmich
• 21001 Tweets
نوير
• 19824 Tweets
Big Black
• 19693 Tweets
البايرن
• 16963 Tweets
#RMABAY
• 13403 Tweets
Fiorentina
• 12146 Tweets
Vamos Madrid
• 10685 Tweets
Pinned Tweet
On the subway tonight, I was suddenly overcome with the most peaceful sense that despite everything, we are all one, & ultimately we are inherently good. I would have missed my stop if the guy on my right hadn’t reached across me to stab the guy on my left for masturbating.
52
124
601
She’s such a loathsome, entitled, sociopathic piece of shit. He supported her unequivocally after the primary & held 37 rallies for her in an exhausting schedule that included 14 events in seven states in just five days. He literally worked harder to elect her than she did.
381
11K
60K
My theory about Biden is that he’s a massive piece of shit.
75
190
2K
$15/hr is not enough. $1,200 is not enough.
Even the handful of people in our shit government who are “fighting” for us are only aiming for scraps.
13
295
1K
That’s right, bitches.
Los Angeles sued over its curfew, drops rule - New York Daily News
8
314
739
Bernie is fucking crushing it. No wonder Biden’s handlers are terrified of a climate debate.
17
89
637
I sincerely love Left Twitter, but some of you motherfuckers truly have no idea how to communicate. Half the time I honestly have no fucking idea whether I’m being agreed with or insulted. 🤪
55
37
635
This fuckery in IA is designed to slow momentum & demoralize us. To make us think there’s no point fighting on cuz they’ll just rig the shit no matter what.
DON’T LET THIS SLOW YOU DOWN
Leave them NO CHOICE but to cheat in the open like this.
We’ll make them pay, win or lose.
14
217
614
@marcformarc
“Vote out *the* fascist and we’ll worry about fixing shit later” is the “Thoughts and prayers” of liberal politics. Trump didn’t happen by accident. Decades of betrayal by Dems brought this dumpster fire on. There will ALWAYS be a GOP boogeyman as a Dem excuse to delay progress.
16
48
574
Fuck off, Nazi cunt. It is utterly fucking disgusting to me that a nation can base its entire existence on theft, murder and brutality, then commit genocide and blame their victims for having the gall to fight back against 75 years of bestial cruelty
@yarahawari
@MuntherIsaac
I am appalled that the government and military of Gaza brought this tragedy onto their own people by starting a war with Israel, hiding in tunnels they built only for themselves and stealing the food, water, medicine and fuel the world has supplied their people. Shame on them!
305
15
225
102
182
544
If I could afford to relocate outside of the U.S., I’d already be out. I believe things will only get much worse here.
65
76
556
@Scousegrrl
@igitt
Why don’t you explain to us all how someone can “split” the vote without even running in the general election.
Hillary lost because she was a horrible candidate w a horrible record who thought she was entitled to an unopposed primary as well as our votes. Full stop.
7
11
534
“Living wage” is such a fucking meaningless term. No such thing will ever happen under American capitalism. It’s like asking sharks for a 15-foot head start. Why are we always begging for scraps instead of fighting to take down the whole system?
41
126
523
If Biden manages to win, I’m convinced he won’t last a year in office. This entire ridiculous exercise with Biden is the DP’s “Plan B” to install Kamala Harris in the Oval Office. A candidate who never won a delegate & would have lost her own state. This is American democracy. 💩
29
109
504
@Jessicaderifie2
@donnabrazile
Couldn’t agree more. Cannot recall any other shit tweet making me this angry. Ever. BRAGGING about retaining the ability to nullify the will of voters. Right out in the open. Jesus fucking Christ.
8
47
465
The left needs leadership. I’m not talking about politicians. Fuck all politicians. We need revolutionary leadership. Somebody with Fred Hampton’s guts & ideas & charisma. You want a general strike? Someone has to step up & bond the left. I can’t do it myself because I’m a moron.
40
54
476
BREAKING: Eyewitness from Burlington delicatessen says in 1972 Bernie took TWO complimentary dinner mints after paying cashier. Will he drop out of the race?
30
76
460
What is your favorite beer?
If you don’t like beer, who hurt you?
543
14
441
Time to mute this thread before my day is stained by delusional shitlib tears 🤣
HRC & her stans are as petty & vindictive as Trump. They are blind to the irony of accusing Berns of divisiveness while she attempts to sabotage the 2020 primary from her whiny irrelevant corner.😫
12
17
449
24
11
388
@richcurren
@madykayvon
The “wait times” nonsense against M4A is basically, “But if we continue to lock people out of doctors’ offices, I won’t have to wait as long for an appointment!” It’s a disgusting, selfish, sociopathic objection. I would gladly wait with everybody else.
4
33
453
Jesus Fucking Christ this world is a grim, dismal place. It did not have to be this way.
45
82
441
@Fuckminster
“We Built This City” is in every conceivable way the worst and whitest song ever visited upon the people of earth.
25
8
411
The left is never going to get anywhere if we don’t even have the conviction & fortitude to withhold votes from a party that fucks us & derides us at every turn. If you buckle now, what will you do in 2024? 2028? 2032? What will you do when it comes to more than just voting?
29
124
376
We had a chance to take down the Democrat Party, or at the very least to teach them they cannot win by ignoring the left. Instead, weak-kneed leftists handed them a victory they are already using to shit all over us & taught them they can do whatever they want & still win. 👍
37
66
359
Unpopular opinion, but I truly wish people would shut the fuck up with these sad fantasies of Bernie Sanders swooping in to save the day. He abandoned us & isn’t coming back. And frankly, he’s not the right leader for this moment anyway. This is a fucking FIGHT, & Bernie ain’t it
37
56
370
Why the fuck is Biden always squinting like he’s speaking in a hailstorm?
99
24
353
Abolish congress. Why the fuck do we send people to vote on our behalf when we can do it ourselves and they don’t do it anyway? This whole system is not only horrible for us & the rest of the world, it’s obsolete and unnecessary.
16
61
352
Biden/Harris groupies with BLM in their profiles are truly confusing to me.
29
32
336
Other than cops, is there a single other union on the planet that will pay for your legal defense if you murder someone?
24
70
339
@Whatapityonyou
I was in a voting booth about to vote for Clinton in 2016 when Susan Sarandon sawed a circle out from under the floor where I was standing and I dropped through it.
0
18
318
Is it my imagination? Or did someone call for progressives in Congress to challenge the most anti-progressive ghoul in the House to leverage a floor vote for M4A & then a bunch of “left” Twitter/Podcast types had complete fucking psycho-ass meltdowns for an entire week?
23
44
301
Short version: The Washington Post is full of shit.
The Washington Post Fact Checked Bernie Sanders. It Went Poorly – Rolling Stone
6
98
282
If you want to get into a nasty argument with half of Left Twitter, I suggest tweeting absolutely anything at all.
20
32
287
Every now & then it occurs to me that I’m perpetually afraid. Afraid of not finding a job, losing a job, my wife or one of my cats getting sick. Afraid of being evicted, afraid of being sued or garnished for unpaid rent, afraid of shitty credit... Poverty is ceaseless fear.
33
60
289
@BethLynch2020
This was not a coup. This was a mob of people who have a structured settlement but need cash now.
10
28
271
I won’t vote for the lesser of two evils.
Won’t vote to perpetuate oppression, imperialism, elitism.
Won’t make myself complicit in perpetuating a corrupt establishment.
Won’t vote for a neolib, & the more you ignorant assholes insist that I must, the more I’m convinced not to
27
78
253
NINE fucking accusers. So far. Cuomo needs to get the fuck out of government. And he needs to be criminally charged for killing 15,000 people.
7
66
262
Is anyone else getting this weird Twitter shit where you’ll start reading a tweet and, unlike the usual annoyance of Twitter just “refreshing” the feed so you have to hella scroll to find it, the tweet you were trying to read disappears entirely, forcing a specific search for it?
50
15
256
Keep the minimum wage so ridiculously low for so ridiculously long that when you finally double it, it’s still only half what it should be.
-Both parties
4
72
245
@NotAshleyHannon
@ClevoZW
Must be fun to live in a bubble & never have to think because your head is filled with MSM bullshit. DNC/HRC camp (same) had decided “he wasn’t getting the nom” before anyone had voted. Time for your pathetic kween to take responsibility for being a loser.
5
4
242
Why the fuck are people suddenly obsessed with re-phrasing “Defund the Police”? Shut the fuck up. No matter what phrasing you use, racist fascist bootlickers will always frame it as something it is not. Stop being so fucking weak and gullible.
#DefundThePolice
21
64
232
@MyassesDragon
@SusanSarandon
What a pity that Biden, with only five decades in government, was somehow unaware that judges exist who might block policies related to immigration.
If your argument is that he cannot unilaterally implement policy, then maybe he shouldn’t be making promises he can’t ensure. 💡
3
4
231
5
4
230
Many of us are desperate. We want to push back, but don't know where/how to start. Here's a thought. Two years of ongoing protests in France began when a 33-y-o truck driver suggested online that motorists block traffic in their areas over a weekend. 300,000 people took part.
13
75
224
Curious: What price do you think members of Congress should pay for their action/inaction in response to the pandemic?
139
26
224
Feeling utterly defeated and demoralized. This shit machine is so massive and so seemingly insurmountable, and the army of brainwashed unreachable sycophantic liberal fuckwits is so fucking enormous. Jesus Fucking Christ on a pogo stick.
23
36
220
👇🏻
When Even The Nazis Aren't Nazis
Last year liberals were calling their political opponents Nazis and comparing Putin to Hitler. This year they’re defending Nazis and saying you can’t hate someone just because he swore allegiance to Hitler.
85
731
2K
5
44
232
We’re never going to do anything, are we? Gonna just vote third party & hope for 5% while the world catches fire.
31
30
219
@bookdellector
@kokeshi_me
Israel making all these claims while simultaneously claiming the minimal investigative effort required to produce actual evidence would somehow be disrespectful to the dead is absurd & warrants contempt. The western media has once again made a joke of itself by parroting the IOF
2
18
221
I have a joke about masturbation, but I’m not sure I can pull it off.
20
13
192
I won't be voting for Dr. West-- not that I have anything against him. I just can't invest any more faith or time in our rigged bullshit electoral system. We need a revolution. HOWEVER, I'm glad he's running, if only to further expose liberal contempt for truth & democracy.
67
26
213
Oh thank God. Because I was really, really starting to worry that she might GO THE FUCK AWAY AND LET US CLEAN UP THE SHIT HER HUBRIS CAUSED IN 2016 instead of, you know, getting in the fucking way of progress. Again.
Netflix to produce series inspired by Hillary Clinton's presidential run
1K
192
1K
11
24
181
This ridiculous fucking nonsense about Taibbi being a mouthpiece for Elon Musk is the same garbage hurled at Assange by shitlibs for “helping Trump.” Empire hacks like Mehdi Hasan will always be horrified by factual journalism.
17
43
202
Pretty sure my cats are Maoist. I hear them talking sometimes.
12
19
176
@FlyThaiMMA
He also said, on “60 Minutes,” “Don’t judge me against the ideal, judge me against the alternative.”
The perfect encapsulation of the only thing the DP has offered in the last 40 years: Being marginally less shitty than the GOP.
3
16
184
@RioSlade
@Jawn_Hancock
Usually, if someone calls me comrade I just give them all my personal info and my keys. Is that wrong?
4
2
183
@NateSilver538
Just when I was certain you’d achieved maximum wrongness, you go and label prioritization of substance “elitist.”
“Hey, it’s only the most influential office on earth, with literally the power of life & death over billions of people. Quit overthinking & flip a coin already!”
0
17
182
@BethLynch2020
@nypost
Don’t act like you’ve never stabbed a cop in the face & then booked it to your trailer & stripped naked & screamed at a police robot.
Everybody in my Antifa chapter does this shit every Thursday.
3
2
176
From a population of roughly 320 million, we have managed to pare down the primary choices for POTUS to perhaps the two greatest examples of upward-failing fuckups this country has ever produced.
6
57
169
I couldn’t give a shit whom Biden chooses for VP, but it’s definitely gonna be Kamala because she’s the worst case scenario & it’s 2020.
9
16
165
Michael Tracey had a joke, but Maxine Waters beat him to it.
4
23
148
“I was raised by Juan Epstein in James Buchanan High School in Brooklyn”
JUST IN - Biden told a group of rabbis on Thursday that he was “raised in synagogues in my state [Delaware]” — after previously claiming to have been raised by Delaware’s then-tiny Puerto Rican community, NY Post reports
101
293
682
39
51
173
Funny how you never see the “BUT MA’ FRENCH FRIES PRICES!” argument when it’s 7-figure bonus time for executives. 🤔
1
49
159
@musicmonster809
@chaotictooth
There is a special breed of moron that just gets a random idea convenient to its narrative w no basis in reality & decides this idea is fact.
Dear moron:
No one “preyed” on any of us. HRC was a shitty candidate & we voted our conscience. Neoliberals would never understand this.
8
7
154
Is it my imagination? Or is nearly the entire American political mindset based on denial and cognitive dissonance?
18
21
147
You fuckers realize getting the vax doesn’t mean you can go run and play in crowds, right? I’m all for the vax. I got the vax. But some of the tweets I’m seeing suggest some of you weirdos think that once you’re vaxed you can go to concerts every day naked or some shit. Stop it.
19
29
146
But actually, no.
No, dear Fartlow.
Israel is strong. Israel doesn’t need the world. The world does, however, need Israel. Uncomfortable for you to admit perhaps.
154
83
745
29
16
157
@christapeterso
@mattsteinglass
@natashakorecki
It is a well known scientific law that if one is unable to pay rent on time, one cannot be sexually assaulted.
0
1
147
It’s a tragic paradox that while the left is rudderless & needs leadership, people who are attracted to power/leadership are inherently degenerate narcissists. Because left ideology is the most compassionate & empathetic, leader types are particularly rare among us.
16
20
138
Absolutely dreading the capitulation of God knows what % of “leftists” who will begin sheepdogging for Rapey Magoo any day now.
Fuck that.
Dedicating myself to the permanent destruction of the Democrat establishment, & formation of a third party that puts humanity first.
22
29
136
“Well yeah, I guess putting pressure on politicians to do their job and actually make something happen or at least highlight a vital issue is the right thing to do, but I have a vague, personal grade school gripe about Jimmy Dore, so fuck pushing for M4A during a pandemic.”
5
16
140
$500/month is nearly half the gross earnings of someone currently making minimum wage. If I want to go broke working my ass off to make pharma execs rich, I’ve got that covered under Trump. What the hell makes you think this is affordable???
.
@Pfizer
"promised" it wouldn't raise prices, then turned around & raised them anyway. We can't count on drug companies to tackle rising drug costs, so Congress must. We can start by passing my bill to put a $500 monthly cap on what families pay for out-of-pocket prescriptions.
1K
2K
7K
5
49
129
Leftists: No one is coming to save us. Not the Greens & not any of the countless infinitesimal grassroots parties we keep dividing ourselves into, to the amusement of the establishment. We cannot vote our way out of the shit we are in. We either fight or eat shit.
11
27
125
@MuhammadSmiry
As a Jew, and as someone who once lived in Jerusalem, I am so horrified and ashamed of the barbaric crimes against the Palestinian people by the IDF. Particularly in Gaza. I cannot understand how, with our history, we can treat people so terribly. The world must stop allowing it.
5
60
132