DM: you find the phylacteries, suddenly a voice emenates from around you "muwahaha! You are too late mortal! For I have been reborn!" Me: I use intimidation by checking phylacteries, and ask "with all due respect, when was the last time you brought these to a soifer?"

Blocking so many people, after not blocking anyone for years, feels just like shutting my phone for shabbos

OMG these look gorgeous Baruch Hashem

Technically, if someone wants to, they could copy images from a certain company with a mouse mascot, and put them on tshirts and hats etc. and sell them for cheap And since the federal government is shut down, technically they can get away with it

This is completely my own fault, but I want my feed to be #3DPrinting #warhammer40k and #battletech again

Shalom Al YeSrael

Serious post This is a great idea https://t.co/rqSVQKFnzv

Need a Jewish lo-fi list

don't hate the machsheifa hate the kishuf

Worst chassan classes ever.

Good stuff @PJLibrary

Me when someone suggests I get a little exercise

I want to thank all the haters for getting me another 200 followers

It's almost like the only reason THEY voted for him was because of his opinions on Israel, and not his actual policies

My kid had anxiety because of socialist policies that might lead to food shortages and violence rampant with no police He doesn't worry about what mandami thinks of Israel, I never bring it up But most leftist assume that is the issue

Now I'm actually famous! First time getting random "free Palestine" comments

Serious post My kid is having anxiety that mandami won I'm trying to calm him down and saying it's going to be fine, but he doesn't believe me I have no idea what to do

Welp At least we're going to have 4 years of consistent content for jokes

New policy: You steal my kids food, I smash you

There's something primally satisfying about smashing a mouse with your fist

I voted for SLIWA!!