wheelchair jimmy Profile
wheelchair jimmy

@wheelxhairjimmy

Followers
552
Following
1,601
Media
43
Statuses
2,857

ex runescape influencer. pro child labor. parody of a comedy account.

Brooklyn, NY
Joined September 2012
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
3 years
@IrateMaxwell @Olang_Moses 💀 bro let them have this 😂
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
2 years
@AlexBerenson I hate when u get “murder your kids” high
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
2 years
Wheelchair jimmy has legs reveal
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
3 years
Moved 5 min away from my gf and she showed me this amazing sub shop. Today she broke up with me and that sub shop closed permanently. Life comes at u fast man lmao
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
1 year
Delta delayed my 7am flight till 11am. 5 mimosas deep and all I want to do is call my 5th grade baseball coach and ask if he’s proud of me
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
2 years
Tim said he hated that euphoria song so I learned it just to spite him
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
3 years
My cousin just got married and is calling her his “first wife”
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
2 years
Goth girls
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
10 years
If I get a 100% on all four of my finals, I will come out with only a 3.1 gpa. WE ARE (failing)
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
1 year
I tried to end a situationship with a “I think we’re just on different wavelengths” text She flipped it and said I really liked going out with you but I don’t think this is gonna work She literally did the you can’t fire me, I quit! Fuckin well played samantha
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
1 year
There will never be a run like Will Ferrell from 2003 to 2010 Old school Elf Kicking and screaming Wedding crashers Talladega Nights Blades of Glory Semi Pro Stepbrothers The other guys
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
2 years
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
8 months
@SeanDaBlack did u mean absolute disdain lmao
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
4 years
I’ve found the best Mexican food in Brooklyn and now it’s literally all I think about. I’ve consumed 12 enchiladas this week. I should be ashamed but I’m blinded by flavor.
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
3 years
Apologies to the lovely lesbian couple I left with the psycho on the 4 last night but I had to get off when the homeless guy said “I’ll gut u right open white boy” for the eighth time
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
10 years
Getting drunk is like borrowing happiness from the next morning
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
2 years
If u have a short lil black bun and a body like Mewtwo hit my line I’ll literally just give u all my money
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
10 years
I overhear so many people talkin shit on their parents here. Bitch I know you ain't payin for psu, be more grateful...
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
2 years
Conservatives so wrapped up in the game they forgot this is taking freedom away
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
3 years
@drunkdrvngobama BRAIN BLASTING KIDS
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
3 years
I’ve done it. Befriended the 92 year old living on the THIRD FLOOR WALKUP of my building. Stairs hardly intimidate her. The apt is a legit time capsule. She made me tea (she’s British). Incredible stories and lessons. Best hour of my life.
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
10 years
I swear I have fun even though I don't snapchat every waking moment of it
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
3 years
flirting with the halal truck guy to get extra white sauce
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
3 years
Didn’t check the weather and wore a white tee shirt into the city and now everyone can see my tits
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
10 years
People so fast to share the blunt but won't give up one McDonald's nugget
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
2 years
3 pabst, 2 bites of a sketchy bodega shrooms bar, and 1 joint of cougar piss and ima have myself a NIGHT at Dom fike
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
2 years
LN a hinge girl told me another one of my hinge girls reached out to her on insta and told her I ghost girls lmao this is insane
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
3 years
Saw Eric Andre filming in Brooklyn today! Prank was so funny he made me blow him. Huge fan!!!
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
4 years
Imagine if my girl found out I only click on about 5% of the links she texts me
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
2 years
Queens be like you went to 462-41 s 661st ave not 462-41 s 661st rd
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
2 years
My ex broke up with me so I’m getting coffee with the even older ex. Bad things to come. Will keep u updated
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
5 years
@Real_pluto_ @Fact Yea that’s pretty evident
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
6 years
Just held the door open for some lady and she said “I could’ve gotten that” lmao
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
5 years
Starting to think this billy eyelash dude is a chick
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
6 years
@russwest44 @MichelleObama You ran into her? Bruh it look like you just interrupted her Netflix marathon
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
3 years
“free market”
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
2 years
Nyc is hilarious man Walk into a sandwich place to eat and they’re already acting annoyed Gives me different sandwich AND coffee from what I ordered, and both taste better than what I would have got Bathroom no paper towels and dude tells me to wipe on my pants 10/10
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
2 years
Just found that I’ve been paying my parents EZ Pass bill for the last three years. Take a closer look at your bills folk
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
2 years
Tried flirting with my hot ass Latina hairdresser at the salon and she said “sweetie my husband will murder you”
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
4 years
Here’s a tip: If you have coronavirus but just NEED to go to Disneyland with your 8 children and toothless wife; freeze your flask of southern comfort the night prior. This way you can place to your forehead at the gate to trick the thermometer.
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
4 years
I work with this Ukrainian dude and whenever you’re saying something that he doesn’t feel like listening to he will shout “doesn’t matter, doesn’t matter!” and move on to what he wants to talk about
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
5 years
Started hiccuping in the Uber and driver rolled my window down lmao
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
4 years
A coworker called me a little bitch boy yesterday and my boss’s solution was for us both to join CrossFit
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
10 years
Shoutout to Ma and Pa for their 33rd anniversary and more importantly the creation of me lol much love
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
2 years
I literally got 0 emails yesterday. People really giving up huh
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
6 years
This dude @abhi_thenomad is so fuckin dope. Check out his jams
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
11 months
Dom fike dropped new album so obviously I had to try one Sick by Dominic fike
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
2 years
Whether it’s 4 hours or 9 hours of sleep, I still wake up a tired little bitch!
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
10 years
Some of these nickels be thinkin they're dimes lol
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
4 years
You just can’t make this up folks
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
2 years
Some guy just called me stupid fuckin liberal in a Verizon store bc he couldn’t buy a car charger with cash. Lmao I was literally just a customer shopping I didn’t deserve the smoke
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
4 years
Two weeks in a row no Chris D’Elia pod?? Wonder what happened
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
2 years
this is demented lmao
@ATFHQ
ATF HQ
2 years
Valentine's Day can still be fun even if you broke up. Do you have information about a former (or current) partner involved in illegal gun activity? Let us know, and we will make sure it's a Valentine's Day to remember! Call 1-888-ATF-TIPS or email ATFTips @atf .gov.
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
4 years
My boss’s father died and on today’s conference call my boss pushed away condolences saying “he had a good run”
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
2 years
My favorite song of all time. Pool house by backseat lovers. I’m quite literally obsessed
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
2 years
I miss trump on twitter sorry 🤷‍♂️
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
10 years
Tooker could've made that
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
4 years
Okay I legit had 8 full boxes of cereal I told my new roommate he could have some We’ve been here for 11 days and he’s eaten legitimately all my cereal. 8 full fucking boxes? ??huh??? I WANT SOME FUCKING FROSTED MINI WHEATS AARON WTF
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
10 years
There is nothing I hate more then someone telling me to relax.
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
2 years
I don’t even talk to girls on hinge I just rack up matches for ego inflation
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
4 years
Showed a lovely old Chinese woman where her subway was and I literally demand the Nobel peace prize
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
11 months
Life is expensive as a fat
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
10 years
Spending more time calculating what your grade would be if you fail the exam than actually studying for the exam
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
2 years
This is the most fucked day in subway history. We’re on hour two of trying to get home from 59th st and lex. Generally a 25 min subway. @MTA I plan on vandalizing
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
4 years
My new rando roomie drank my entire handle of tequila and is now butthurt that I told him to braid the pubes on my lower shaft
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
10 years
Hi @AbbyWambach give a shoutout to your biggest fan @YoungWildN_Bree who is currently in treatment kicking cancer's ass for the second time!
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
3 years
Day 90 of not hearing tekashi 6ix9ine’s name. finding sanity.
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
2 years
It’s already too hot I’m sweating and annoyed and my underwear is a size too small
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
3 years
Girls only get engaged so their friends will share on their stories. Convince me otherwise
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
2 years
Broke ass hoes get at me
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
3 years
I feel attacked lmao
@ymmayer
Youngmi MAYER 💜
3 years
every person ive slept with lives in the room that is 200 dollars cheaper than their roommate’s
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
10 years
Weird that at 19 I'm living in the biggest house I'll ever live in
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
4 years
I work with a bunch of old white conservative men and they’re all experts at missing the point.
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
4 years
I want to comment on new boyfriend insta posts, “thought you loved the last one???” with the swaggy P meme
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
4 years
IN A MERE 3 WEEKS IVE DEVELOPED C-CUP BREASTS
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
4 years
Waitress says “wow you finished that quick!” And held out her hand to take the plate and I thought she was tryna dap me up so I gave her that skin baby!!!!
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
3 years
hoodie season is back I am hot again time to fatfish these hoes
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
10 years
Already bored of doylestown, get me back to state
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
4 years
THE NEW VACCINE ALLOWS KAMALA HARRIS TO SEE YOUR PORNHUB SEARCH BAR HISTORY
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
5 years
They need to invent a shock collar for dieting
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
2 years
Why doesn’t Biden just send Skete to steal Putin’s girl
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
3 years
I have three personalities Driving, thinks all people who bike don’t deserve life Biking, thinks all people who drive don’t deserve life Walking, thinks about mozzarella sticks
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
2 years
Hi 👋 My name is Matt and it’s been 182 days since I texted the Colombian girl
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
2 years
Timothée Chalamet just blew me a kiss from the checkout line of Dallas BBQ and mouthed “it’s my little secret.” Loved him in Dune.
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
10 years
Holy freshman
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
4 years
Girls actually think being 45 minutes late is okay
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
4 years
I could and might beat up @LookAtMeMao
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
5 years
We prioritize people thinking we had fun over having fun
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
4 years
No China virus can stop you from you god given American inalienable rights to go on splash mountain and kill people
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
2 years
Why did they make Brock from Pokémon so god damn horny lmao
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
6 years
Thank god you posted an insta story of you and your BFF for her birthday because I was seriously starting to doubt your friendship
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
6 years
Fall/Winter be my shit! Type o weather you can hide your fat in
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
4 years
True Englightenment
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
6 years
Living with my roommate Jake is great. It’s like having a free maid.
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
2 years
Reading and imitating @anxiouscucumbe2 tweets in an attempt to score some box this weekend
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
2 years
Getting humbled by subway momentum is important to our egos
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
4 years
How teenie weenie does your little boy penis have to be to want to kill elephants?
@1SpencerGarrett
Spencer Garrett
4 years
They killed a baby elephant. The hunting company is Charlton McCallum Hunting Safaris. The owner is Buzz Charlton. The professional hunter is Max Delezenne and the trophy hunter is Mike Jines, the owner of TopGen Energy. Do your thing, internet.
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
5 months
Nothing gets me more excited than the $85 1 hour 9 mile Uber ride home from jfk!!!!!!
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@wheelxhairjimmy
wheelchair jimmy
1 year
I’ll actually never fly United again
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