Velcro Ripper
@velcroripper
Followers
3,064
Following
5,687
Media
10,408
Statuses
28,432
Professional nobody, Team lead of them, 2nd in command of they, head of the Twitter Masses, sarcasm is my broadsword #2A . #goon #goldcorp
Frisco, TX
Joined August 2009
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Pinned Tweet
Crazy that I’m single when I’m such an amazing cook
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Going through my Dads stuff and found my mom kept this from when he was on the cover of life magazine, he’s the one in the back
June 12, 1964 jungles of Vietnam.
#heros
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Trying hard not to buy this in .357 6 inch.. dang shes seggy
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@stillgray
I think people are missing the goal, the DA knows that they will lose, but in the process bankrupt the man and send a message fight back lose everything, that’s the goal.
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Don’t need….
Maybe…. No.. don’t need… but. Nope not doing that… but…
Nope…
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Colt stop it.. stop it right now how. I do not need such a thing.
I would not strap that on my side and walk around in the house with assless chaps on. Nope never, so stop that.
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I don't need a S&W 1854 I really don't.. please tell me I don't,
ladies chime in here..
I don't right?
I mean you can't stand me now, getting that awesome 1854 lever action limited edition isn't going to change a thing? Right? Come on now.. seriously, I don't need one.
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As promised, I broke 2K followers and said I would post my ass.
Here you go all, this is Fred he likes carrots.
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@cmclymer
Glad you are on board for immediately sending armed guards no less skilled than those we use to protect our politicians to our schools to protect our kids. Finally someone reasonable about this.
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Sweden has joined NATO and received their first shipment from the US of military aid.
It was sent in pieces and without directions
Paybacks a bitch
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@ClaytonEdge1
@TheRichFromCali
Tell the world you know nothing about guns in one tweet… congrats you won
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@mccaffreyr3
OMG that’s some heavy fire, hope his delicate disposition will recover from such a withering attack. Let’s all chip in and buy him a build a bear to keep him comfortable during his long recovery.
@DempMcgee
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There is something incredibly satisfying about wizzing in your own backyard.
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Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears. I have come to say GM, not to praise it. The evil that men do lives after them; The good is oft interrèd with their bones. GM
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@Everytown
If we work hard and pull together as a country we can double that this year. Let’s all do our part and buy a new gun this month
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@WhosChrisHughes
How did you get Uncle Les video from the bar mitzvah party for Ari?
He got so drunk that night.
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Man don’t know about your International day of Jihad but mine has been a bust so far, other than the UPS guy and the squirrel no one has had the balls to even stop by. 1 star do not recommend
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Long long ago, I used to go out partying until 2am, get up at 5am do PT still buzzed from the night before, shake it off, pull a 12 hour day, sleep a few hours and then go out and do it again.
Today I got up at 4am and need a nap at 7pm
Getting old is not for pu$$ies
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@mchooyah
@ScottAdamsSays
I would have voted for The Derek Zoolander Center for Kids Who Can't Read Good and Who Wanna Learn to Do Other Stuff Good Too
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ahh I lost 35 followers cause I posted something supporting guns..
@ZenfinityDesign
hold my beer...
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5ft commanded me earlier to post her picture with her offensive cup to piss of all of the Soi Bois (I had forgot)
One of her friends flipped out when they saw it, she loves stirring the pot
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@JimBowersclimb
@HankVenture5
@monkeynaught83
@grizzlybizzly
More CO2 also means more green plants less deserts, more food for animals
Rising temps mean less energy use, deaths due to cold drop significantly
Average right now is around 400 ppm, we should be at least 1000
GFY and learn something other than propaganda
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@JDCocchiarella
@Acyn
Yes please pushing this line of thinking I’m sure all of those proud women have no concern on the appropriation of their gender… yup no worries at all
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Someone handed me a loaded gun today. (She didn’t know)
Politely I unloaded and corrected her constructively.
She thanked me after.
Always assume they are loaded, been a very long time since that has happened to me, good thing I check every time.
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@Lead_Flinger
I did not hear name rank, serial number and unit. Back to the end of the line and do it again..
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@JewishWarrior13
Brother we stand with you, period, end of story. Don't apologize for being right, and this is right.
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OMG are you in the path of the eclipse?
Me: Yes
Wonder whats that going to be like? Spooky?
Me: 4 minutes of night.
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@STRYDER99245324
@TimRunsHisMouth
@RBReich
Say you don’t know what you are talking about without saying you don’t know what you are talking about
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Hey new gun owners, bit of advice, don’t pick up someones gun without asking first.
It’s bad form…. Better is to ask to see it and they will likely let you shoot it as well.
Thank you, your friendly Goon.
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5ft would like all you to know that Sour Crème is spoiled food and not fit for human consumption
I am currently debating severing all contact and disavowing any knowledge of her.
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Just because I feel like being a Richard today custom 870 from the wizards at Van Comp who built this for me when I was teaching. Ported 12g, night sights lots of extras. If I miss you I can beat you with it.
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Holsters here, fits perfect. She’s thick and I got to break her in.
Not the first time I’ve said that
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@JewishWarrior13
Suggestion, just keep closing the noose.. "You wanna talk realistically? No?" IDF takes another block.. "How about now?, Still no?" IDF takes two more blocks.. and so on and so on.
They don't really feel they have no choice, until they do they will continue to play games.
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@gaywonk
We are waiting buttercup… been a while since I sent rounds down range… oh bring friends lots and lots of friends
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WAS to going to Church (AKA Shoot clays) but a homie needed an oil change and is hard up, so I got him a filter, had spare oil and we had fun fussing at each other while we did it, raided the freezer and pantry for "extras" for him and his family before sending him home.
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Mr Hawk is up to his BS again, chasing birds into my windows to unalive them and then proudly eats them in front of me.
"What you going to do about it fat boy?"
One more time Im going to send dawg out there to bark at you.
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Homie came over and I had homemade Korean BBQ, rice and kimchi for him.
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How do you get a farm girl to marry you?
Attract her.
(Hint SAY IT OUT LOUD)
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Man would not guessed that, I would have said maybe after 19?
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if I hear the word synergy one more time I am going to flip out
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Operation Date Night… that red dress was painted on. My brian shutdown while she wore that. I did wear a suit that day but damn the whole place just stared
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As requested by the Twitter masses. Keep in mind the homie who took the pic is 6’5 so I look smaller than normal. No I am not related to Casper the ghost
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It’s hotter than a girl doing jumping jacks wearing a tube top out there….
@BuckGraver
@Amer1can_Barbie
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Boss: did your annual review
Me: ok
Boss: do you want to know what it said?
Me: don’t care really
Boss: laughing.. figured as much, put you in for another award.
Me: thanks, more crystal trophies
Boss: also a cash award.
Me: wait what? How much? can I buy that shotgun I want?
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Older lady widow down the street made me peanut brittle, it’s really good and that was nice.. not really cause I just spent 20 minutes eating peanut brittle… shaking like I’m on crack… sugar high
@tweetsmoe
@TejanoVaquero
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1) I am a Tard and a Goon
2) 5ft is short for 5ft demon woman whose heart is black as her hair
3) dawg is my furry Hungarian terrorist who steals covers
4) I post nonsense, mildly inappropriate musings and stuff about guns
If I offend you, too bad and lastly
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Usually I sneak off on Good Friday before noon most years, however this year I was in min to min negotiations with Mega Corp. We signed 10 mins ago.
Boss very happy, big boss very happy, Biggest boss extremely happy.
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Almost 58
Selma Hayek.. also the namesake of my shotgun for reasons...
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Ok airport report.
No boobies -sad
Did get felt up by TSA
Listening to someone’s speaker phone call right now.
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A twatwaffle schedules a conference call at 5pm.
I shan’t be wearing pants
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Wasn't going to tell you what the rando field pictures but changed my mind. There is an elderly lady that lives at the end of the street, she wanted to see the bluebonnets and other flowers so I drove 3 hours round trip to take her. So make fun of me all you want.
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Sir I believe you promised treats, get your dumbass here and give me treats or I will tell mom you were mean to me.
Chop chop bag boy
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Thor is making his move on my lady friend… dang it. He got much better fur than I do.
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I really hate the 5k follower limit. Sorry been slow getting to those that have followed me, having to prune the deadbeats to make room for you. I'll get to you as I do.
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I'm so white I could use white out for make up if I wore it.
I pour gravy on my mash potatoes to keep track of my fingers.
I am world champion in "Fog Hide and Seek" for 11 years in a row.
Frosty the snowman looks dark next to me.
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For “snakes” and things….. ones that are really really far away.
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While this world has a little less shine on it, all dogs go to Heaven, and Heaven is a better place today.
Larry left this world yesterday. I've loved sharing him with all of you. Even though I only had him for the last years of his life, we had a great run -he really was my best friend.
"I will not say, 'do not weep', for not all tears are an evil."
I know I'll see him again.
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Bar is open, I shall limit myself to two drinks cause reasons
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@3cCustom
Are you suggesting I wasn’t a 69 Helvetica Combat Calligrapher?
All good brother, being a cook was the most important job when the troops were hungry. Supply when you out of shit paper.
Everyone did their part, be proud of how you contributed
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NORAD has confirmed multiple bogie launch, repeat multiple bogie launch, GM incoming
Set Condition 1 SQ, load all tube, flood tunes 3 and 4 plot a firing solution and prepare to launch GM
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