🍓Strawburied Alive ⚰️
@unsolvedmisery
Followers
333
Following
559
Media
1,309
Statuses
7,063
I'm just a normal functioning member of the human race and there's no way anyone can prove otherwise....no dm's please.
Boston, MA
Joined April 2015
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Before you DM me just know I'm built like this...
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I saw someone get mad about "a bunch of "middle aged people posting weed selfies". You cant ruin our day.
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Its my 39th trip around the sun and I never thought I would make it this far but I'm glad I did because I feel mentally and physically stronger than I ever have and truly no longer give a fuck what people think. And its also Gary Busey's birthday so there's that. ♋️'s rule!
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Glasses are hott. Change my mind.
It really baffles me ppl choose a life of glasses over lasik. I truly think ppl hate technological advance
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I just told somone no in a mature and respectful way. Yea i had to shut my phone down for an hour after and was shaking but I am proud of myself. Please clap for me.
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Lol. Who hurt you?
@WikingWings
Women have no business with a guitar in their hands trying to emulate heavy metal.
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My first homemade loaf of bread. I've never been more proud 🥹
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Summer is coming. Bands, please add more booty shorts to your merch inventory.
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Ok but how do I sign up for this? Really want to be besties with a crow, its my dream.
A human became friends with a crow. After a month, the bird brought him the skull of another crow as a gift.
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Not a lot of kids last night, so much gabagool left over.
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I wanna take this short king out of the box and play with him so bad...but I also like the box.
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The only good thing I found thrifting in Portland.
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Everytime I go to Salem to get my hair done I do a silly little photo shoot in the Howard Street Cemetary cause I knowy hair wont look this good anymore in like 3 hours.
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Sorry I cant come to work today its too snuggly.
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This guy thinks he is coming over to make out but really he is gonna play hours and hours of wario ware move it until he begs to go home.
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This week sucked. But I get to see a bucket list band I haven't seen yet tomorrow. Girlschool!
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I remember when I first started playing out years ago I had a Schecter I loved and some guy laughed at me. He was like "friends dont let friends play Schecter". I was like 20 so it made me sad and eventually traded it. But you know what fuck that dude. What do I name my new baby?
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Do I look my age? I am actually 100 but practice black magic and bathe in the blood of a virgin once a week.
Do you look your age?
Sometimes😌but i still won’t ever grow up
(I’m almost 42)
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Why am I posing like I'm doing a photoshoot for my resume?
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@obeliskobeyer
Why is it impossible for me to picture Taylor Swift as a sexual being? I just assumed she had like a barbie vagina.
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I hope all the Presidents have a terrible day.
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@CornOnTheGoblin
Shes thinking ahead and doesnt want to get up for another drink and miss the movie.
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Tattoo I got about 15 years ago I recently explained to someone and they were like ohh so yer like dark dark 🤣. Its one of Jack Kevorkian's paintings. In addition I just learned Kevorkian also played flute and piano and shit and put out a record.
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@woofknight
Boundaries are for you to follow not the other person to follow. You can't control other people's actions but you can control how you respond and what you will tolerate.
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I wish I didnt say yes to leaving the house :(
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Holy shit. I came back after a week off...and I just got promoted. Like a good promotion. Like im a boss ass bitch holy shit.
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Friday night thirst trapping.
5678's are cute.
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Made it to Portland and am having a sweet delicious beer.
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I always forget this mean jeans shirt is also a secret king diamond shirt.
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Its 2024 and this year I'm no longer responding to "hey beautiful" texts. I feel a need to let everyone down gently when I should really just be saying fuck off. Fuck off is the only way some people understand.
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Booked a little cabin for me and the doggo to unwind. I'm looking forward to bringing a ton of music and art supplies to do something creative then just playing Cult of the Lamb the whole time instead.
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Wearing the shirt of the band I'm going to see because Im a huge piece of shit.
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