20’s: I hope I can be normal long enough for them to like me. 30’s: They can like me or not, I don’t care. 40’s: Maybe if I act REALLY weird they will leave and I can go to bed early.

Me: 2023 is the year of decluttering my life!. Also me: I may wind up in the midst of a murder investigation and I’ll need proof of my innocence and that’s why I can’t delete that accidental screenshot I just did.

RT @dadmann_walking: Spent last night in the ER from severe abdominal pain for 2 days. After an EKG, blood work and X-rays the doctor told….

RT @deloisivete: *driving past the school parking lot 10 minutes after pickup*. 7yo: whoa the teachers are still there?.

RT @itssherifield: Used my husband’s dude wipes and now I’m mumbling about how all the lights are on and loading the plates on the top shel….

RT @mcdadstuff: Love when my daughter gets a cookie and sort of half ass closes the package, so when I go to get cookies they’re stale.

RT @mommeh_dearest: I was looking up cottage cheese recipes but now I’ve lost my appetite

RT @DragginFatherB: 4yo and 7yo were playing "neighbors". 7 did something questionable and 4 says "geez what a stupid neighbor". art does….

RT @deloisivete: Love the gentle tones of my children in the morning. Just kidding, they're fighting about who can look out which car window.

RT @MumOfTw0: Was telling my husband that now that I’m done breastfeeding, I can use the good skincare stuff and take real medicine again,….

RT @mcdadstuff: Little kids cough like they are releasing demons into the world.

RT @MommyingHard: An old man sitting next to me on an airplane watched homemade porn for 3.5 hours, and I've given up on the human race now.

RT @reallifemommy3: My kids have trashed the house again but they also reminded me to buy the ice cream which I’m currently eating instead….

RT @ericamorecambe: The only problem I have with getting back into work on a Monday morning is everything.

RT @notmythirdrodeo: School - “Here is an amazing photo of the kids outside enjoying a beautiful spring day!”. Every parent - It would be a….

RT @mxmclain: When seasonal depression closes a door, it opens a window for seasonal allergies.

RT @BattyMclain: Your mom listens to Kidz Bop.

RT @notmythirdrodeo: You have 10 apples and ate five - how many are left? is not fruit math. Fruit math is when you had five bananas at….

RT @mxmclain: Cocker-doodle

RT @mxmclain: How to get late night snacks without waking dogs.

I’m gonna start doing a YouTube series about helpful ADHD apps. One of my favorites by FAR is @centered_app , who has brought me into a community AND helped me do work in a less stressful, fun, better-focused way. HIGHLY recommend.