My new thing that I write on the train to work:

Sorry, as a historian of early medieval English royal women: the fuck are you talking about?

Like if you skip the opening teaser montage of The British Baking Show because it spoils many of the fun bits in the episode. Retweet if your 15 year old self read this tweet, they would be VERY confused by the person they'd become

I think much of the incoherence & backflips in #COVID19 response, esp in rich countries, came about b/c ppl don't understand who ICU teams are & what they do I'm an intensive care specialist who did an MBA to try & understand this better myself, here goes at an explanation: 🧵⬇️

If you are a grown man tweeting a picture of a little German girl crying at the football, I hope you get your cock trapped in your zip.

Did you know, not all birds nest in trees 🌲 😲. Ahead of the nesting season, our site teams have been busy arranging the FINEST nesting accommodation for lots of different birds #watchyourstep! https://t.co/d5S2TOrDe5

Man is a crook.

Millions of impeaches, impeaches for free. Millions of impeaches, impeaches for me. LOOK OUT

So, @YodelOnline - the good news is it finally came. The bad news is there is a literal fucking footprint indent on it. It's a vinyl record. I'm pretty certain they aren't supposed to be trodden on.

Can't believe Palpatine would declare himself Emperor, wipe out the Jedi and build a Death Star, despite repeatedly and publicly saying he would do all of those things. Absolutely shocking stuff.

Alan Dean Foster is an sf legend - a writer who produced a shelf of original novels but also made a reputation novelizing movies and TV from Star Wars to Aliens, turning out books that transcended quickie adaptations, becoming beloved bestsellers in their own right. 1/

If the Rebels win the next election they will kill all of the Jedi, build a Death Star and blow up Alderaan. You won't be safe in Princess Leia's galaxy.

NZ leading the headlines yet again.

https://t.co/S9e3ZuD4QH

@Jeremy_Hunt Is this you?

I sympathize with their complaints but this rowdy threatening behavior solves nothing. The way to make their voices heard is at the ballot box.

The reactions to this though. Fucking hell.

For everyone who says, "If Rayshard Brooks didn't resist arrest, he'd still be alive":

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣