Tim Graham
@tashkentterror
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Retired CUFC Online Editor of 9 years. Now able to spend more time drinking and eating.
Carlisle
Joined August 2009
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Stockport or Salford v Carlisle or Bradford City.
If there was any sense in the world the final would be at Old Trafford.
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"So, Paul Simpson has come back, we've won four on the bounce and are now up to 40 points and 17th place in League Two, and we're nine points clear of the bottom two. Scunthorpe got beat at home to Colchester too, so they're definitely finished now."
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Welcome to Carlisle United.
The club where everything is always up for sale apart from the the one thing that very much needs to be.
The actual club itself.
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Christ on a bike.
The way Clive Tyldesley and John Hartson are going on, you'd think Gareth Bale had just beaten all eleven USA players with his bootlaces tied together and then smashed one in the top corner from 50 yards.
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7 wins in 34 league games.
3 wins in 18 league games.
1 win in 8 league games.
Playing largely poor football.
19th in League Two as I type.
Beech - if not now then when?
Holdsworth - if not now then when?
The Board - should have gone 10 years ago, never mind now.
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If David Holdsworth and Keith Millen are still employed at this club on Monday morning, then the owners of the club get absolutely everything they deserve.
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Botchergate, Carlisle.
10pm Saturday night after the England game.
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I'm extremely surprised Osborne the Aberdeen captain didn't actually nominate someone to do her introduction right at the start.
#UniversityChallenge
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Seriously lost count of how many points Mark Howard has saved us this year.
Should be an absolute shoe-in for player of the season.
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Just seen Owen Moxon and John Nixon in Coral Island in Blackpool.
Moxon is wearing a Sign Me Quick hat and Nixon is at one of the change kiosks trying to swap £400,000 in notes for 2ps for the coin pusher machines.
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Looks like there will be about 35,000 fans of Carlisle and Stockport at Wembley due to cost and travel issues.
People say Wembley is 'an occasion'.
If you can't make an occasion out of a League Two Play-Off final at a full Etihad or Old Trafford then you're very hard to please.
Stockport or Salford v Carlisle or Bradford City.
If there was any sense in the world the final would be at Old Trafford.
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7 wins in our last 39 league/cup games.
Failed to score in 20 of those matches.
Should people be calling Paul Simpson a wanker?
No.
Should Paul Simpson be getting the sack?
No.
Should Paul Simpson, and Greg Abbott, be taking some level of criticism for those results.
Yes.
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An absolute disgrace of a showing, throwing teenagers out of the Paddock and getting the Police involved for them simply holding a flag up.
The idiots running this club dig themselves a bigger and bigger hole with the supporters with every day that goes by.
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Carlisle's plastic Scouser Army in full cry.
Same people, who born and bred in and around Carlisle, vehemently support England in international football as it's where they are from.
And then support Liverpool and not Carlisle in English football, as it's where they are....oh 🤔
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I suppose if you try to somehow forget the late equaliser, that tonight was the reason we all love football.
Brunton Park, under the lights, two teams going for promotion, cracking match, two sets of players going right at it, big crowd, great atmosphere from both sets of fans.
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Carlisle's last 54 league games since collapse began.
W11 D19 L24, 52 points from 162.
@NClibbens
@officialcufc
When is David Holdsworth coming out of hibernation to answer for his part in this rather than cowardly hiding behind Beech and Millen and leaving all blame on them?
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Meanwhile, at Brunton Park, people continue to have to piss into an open outside gutter in the Warwick Road End toilets.
Given the green light.
Councillors have approved the business plan for building a new multi-million shared sport stadium in Workington.
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Managerless.
In the League Two relegation zone.
Michael Knighton in the Directors Box.
Some fans happy to see him back in Carlisle.
12 years of reluctant custodians.
How low does this club have to go before the board realise they are an absolute failure and actually sell up?
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A hell of a lot of the players could do with looking at the example of Jon Mellish.
For all he can lack in a bit of quality at times, his attitude and effort is absolutely faultless wherever he is asked to play on the pitch.
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Let's be fair, that pitch invader ran a lot faster and put in far more effort than a lot of our players today.
Plus, the jammy bastard might end up getting banned from home games.
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0 wins in 7.
1 win in 11.
2 wins in 15.
10 defeats in 15.
4 wins in 29.
7 wins in 43.
Somehow the manager is avoiding any criticism.
#cufc
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Can't help but think that
@SkySports
logo looks way too small in the middle of the QR code 🤔🤔
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One thing days like today do, and the three wins before that, is show any prospective new owners just how much untapped potential there is at Carlisle United.
You can only hope that someone sees that potential and realises what could be achieved with a little bit more ambition.
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See you next season 👍
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Dan Burn just got booked for a foul.
He then told the referee to 'fuck off' and that 'it was a fucking joke'.
Seriously, at what point are referees ever going to stand up for themselves? Abuse will only lessen if they have the balls to do something about it and send people off.
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Mansfield have now scored more goals against Harrogate in 77 minutes than Carlisle have in the past 412 years.
77 |
#Stags
9-2 Harrogate
Lewis finds Swan from the right who fires low into the bottom corner with a first-time strike.
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Roll up! Roll up Carlisle fans!
The season is nearly over and it's time for the Greg Abbott Summer Transfer Window Wheel of Fortune.
Where will it stop!!?? Nobody knows!!
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I was absolutely no Curle fan by long chalk, but it's safe to say that the board chucked him well and truly under the bus tonight.
They may want to remember who hired him, who gave him greatly increased budgets, who sanctioned his signings and who allowed his excessive spending.
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The Cure knocking the socks off pretty much everything else I've heard from Glastonbury this weekend.
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Was at the very well organised
@CUOSC
meeting with the
@CastleSportsGrp
Piatak family today.
Tom Piatak spoke extremely well and while some may not like one aspect of the deal as far as Trust shares are concerned, it would be madness not to vote the deal through in my opinion.
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Holdsworth gone.
Thank the fucking Lord.
I was on the toilet at the exact time this was announced, which is probably a very fitting epitaph to his career as Director of Football at Carlisle United.
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@james7phillips
@CheckatradeTrpy
@England
@FA
Send him that and then tell him he's talking total bollocks.
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Funny old job with Covid and football isn't it.
Apparently teams having to face other teams full of u18 and u23 players devalues the integrity of the FA Cup.
But apparently teams having to face other teams full of u18 and u23 players enriches the integrity of the EFL Trophy.
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7 wins in 39 league games.
3 wins in 23 league games.
1 win in 13 league games.
0 wins in 9 league games.
23rd place and in the League Two relegation zone.
Just glad our esteemed Director of Football is more bothered about the salt & pepper on his chips than anything else.
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There's clearly only one thing Sheffield United boss Chris Wilder can do tactically to stop this onslaught.
Push Jon Mellish up out of defence and into midfield.
5'—Ødegaard ⚽
13'—Bogle (OG) ⚽
15'—Martinelli ⚽
25'—Havertz ⚽
Arsenal are up 4-0 against Sheffield United in only 25 minutes ⚡
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The problem lies deeper than just Pressley though, it lies with David Holdsworth and an appallingly clueless, ignorant and outdated board of directors.
And then, let's not forget the hand that EWM are playing in this utter shambles, they should either put up or piss off NOW.
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Leyton Orient have scored three goals at home only twice in their last 30 league and cup matches.
1. vs Carlisle, FA Cup, 4/11/23.
2. vs Carlisle, League One, 3/2/24.
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And stop sitting in pubs and clubs in Carlisle vehemently 'supporting' Liverpool in the main, or Manchester United, despite the fact that you have absolutely no affiliation whatsoever with Liverpool or Manchester as cities, but just want a team to 'glory support'.
99% of people who follow football are only interested in the Premier League.
But the Championship is superb. Leagues 1& 2 are really competitive.
And Non-League provides a good standard of community football at affordable prices.
PLEASE SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL FOOTBALL CLUBS
***
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Looking at the Nottingham Forest squad they appear to have:
36 first team players (32 squad, 1 out on loan, 3 unassigned numbers).
And then 22 under-23 squad players, of which 3 are out on loan.
Which gives them 54 available players above youth team level.
Financial insanity.
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@BrendanRogers69
@PoliticsForAlI
@LBC
Yep, taken over a tragedy of a young woman's death for their own political ends.
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Going to be a busy day ahead in town and massively so on social media with the plastic armchair fans derby on at 4.30.
The good news is both Liverpool and Man United can't win today.
Support your local team and city instead of glory-supporting clubs you have no affinity with.
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I've been one of a good few moaning for years that
@officialcufc
desperately needed to update the online ticketing side of things.
Booked ten for Wembley online this morning, only took 5-10 minutes from start to finish, no problems.
Much, much better
@officialcufc
@NClibbens
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Simpson talking about a 'huge turn around in the group' in the summer.
He signed 22 players in this squad, a squad that has been very poor in quality and massively lacking in motivation and professionalism.
Yet somehow he manages to avoid any criticism or responsibility for it.
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For a manager who appears to have a very high opinion of himself, I'd suggest that Chris Beech's record of 2 wins in our last 13 and 6 from 29 isn't exactly something to write home about.
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If our collection of multi-million pound paid Premier League footballers can't get to the semi-finals of the World Cup by beating Colombia and then one of Sweden or Switzerland, then it seems pretty damn evident to me that we need more B teams in the Checkatrade Trophy.
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I was never the biggest Alan Green fan, but he's entirely right that it's all about the BANTZ these days.
Enormous dumbing down across society, never mind just football commentary and punditry.
"I feel a mixture of disappointment and anger. I was basically told, ‘you don’t fit our profile’. There are new people in favour. They match the requirements in terms of ‘bantz’,” Alan Green on being phased out by the BBC.
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One for the older Carlisle fans.
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Two former Carlisle United legends at the Appletree ahead of supporting the Blues at home to Exeter
@officialcufc
@bbccumbriasport
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Quite possibly the best thing about the takeover.
Seeing that carpet where it belongs.
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@JuliaHB1
Trolling you maybe. I'm not as utterly obsessed about going on a foreign holiday as some are.
And I went on five in 2019, so it's not as if I don't normally.
I'll go next year when everywhere will be better.
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1/2
McCarron, Galloway, Branthwaite, Hope all sold for what must be over £1m. Possible Cosgrove sell-on to come. FA Cup run and TV money banked.
Club in 21st place in League Two and never been in a worse place with fan support under this regime. Change desperately required.
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@MediaGuido
@GuidoFawkes
The map is correct. There is a small village called Sunderland in Cumbria about 20 miles from Carlisle where I live.
Might not be the Sunderland they are alluding to mind.....
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Last 51 league and cup games.
W8 D15 L28
This season league and cup.
W5 D8 L24
Last 17 league games.
W1 D3 L13
Last 7 league games.
W0 D0 L7
Difference between being loyal to a manager who has done brilliantly in the past and realising it's not working anymore.
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Absolutely seen it all now.
Just been turned away from the Cally at 5.20pm on a Saturday for wearing plain dark blue knee length shorts.
Clearly the Cally is a high class establishment with a very strict dress code for evening service.
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Current run of form:
P1 W1 D0 L0.
Clean sheets:
1 on the bounce.
Still 13 points from safety, but great to finally get a win, as well as ending the losing run.
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Pompey boss John Mousinho:
"The overwhelming feeling is that we’ve nicked it and it’s probably the first time we’ve come in feeling like we perhaps haven’t deserved it. Carlisle can feel very hard done by."
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There seems to be a disconcertingly growing amount of our fanbase that think it doesn't matter a jot if we get relegated, because it's a cast-iron certainty that we'll piss League Two next season and get promoted straight back.
That's one hell of a confident stance to take.
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Forced to think that if this excellent run of form continues to the end of the season, despite maybe a few hiccups along the way, that it's going to be very difficult for Paul Simpson to walk away from the Carlisle managerial seat in the summer.
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Great news for Carlisle that Bromley have been promoted.
Mainly because it means someone else in League Two will hopefully end up getting all the shite Crystal Palace loan players next season.
P.S. I always said Byron Webster was class 😬
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Back at Brunton Park for Carlisle now for the next two games, got the most home wins and scored the third most home goals in the division so no reason why we can't get back to winning ways 👊
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Tonight, and where we are in the league now, is partly the result of a dreadful summer of recruitment for which both the head of recruitment and manager have to take some level of responsibility regardless of other issues.
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I witnessed a beautiful heart-warming Carlisle festive scene at 1am last night at the top of Botchergate.
A barefooted woman, with a bag of chips in one hand and her shoes in the other screaming angrily at her husband: "Don't worry. Next year I want a fucking divorce. End of."
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11 defeats in last 12.
15 defeats in last 19.
8 points from our last 57.
Reaching point where this is what can happen if the club and local media give a manager a completely free card to lose as many games as he likes, with zero criticism, while pretending it doesn't matter.
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Celebrations in full swing all across the directors' box.
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Still say Mark Howard has been by far and away the best signing of a very average bunch.
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@FootyScran
@GordonRamsay
Should have done it years ago at Southampton's old ground.
Dell's Kitchen.
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Watching the FA Cup Final, it's hard to think it was only six days ago that it was us there at Wembley celebrating and watching a trophy being lifted into the air.
#cufc
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Race Across The World.
When he opened the book, how did Dom know that Emon and Jamiul had won by just 20 seconds when there is nothing in the book to say they won it by 20 seconds?
Time just says 11:25 for both pairs.
#RaceAcrossTheWorld
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CUFC - It's all CUOSC's fault.
CUOSC - It's all CUFC's fault.
I wonder if there will ever come a point where both of them actually realise they are responsible for the absolute shitshow of a club we have at the moment.
Sadly, I doubt it.
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"The last two weeks have been a tough time for this club and our supporters."
Says David Holdsworth.
Yeah, that's right David, I mean everything has been absolutely fantastic for donkeys years until the last fortnight.
✍️ Carlisle United are delighted to announce that Keith Millen has today been appointed as first-team manager.
Full details 👇
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@officialcufc
Pirelli discount needs getting rid of and has done for years.
Some of the best paid workers in the city are getting nearly 20% off, while people working on minimum wage get nothing.
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@NClibbens
Chris Beech has come to his end, but it's mad to suggest he's the only problem.
David Holdsworth has to go, and the club should be put up for sale officially.
You are all sending this club massively backwards.
No transparency, no sense of responsibility, no shame.
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1.50pm and there are about 12 people in a quiet protest outside main stand.
Really sad thing is that the board will view that as a success, rather than realising a lot of people just don't give a shit anymore and have simply walked away from the club.
That is their protest.
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Like Dale Vince or not, like Forest Green or not, the club have a clear plan, a clear vision and an excellent project for a new ground and fantastic training facilities underway.
Can anybody say we at Carlisle United have any of those?
🏃♂️ 11 training pitches
🏠 First-team, women's and academy complex
🏺 Archaeological survey and dig on the site
It's the next step in our journey to Eco Park, with work on training facilities set to begin in the coming months ⬇️
#WeAreFGR
💚
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My season ticket in B Stand has gone up by 8.31% from last season.
Personally, I think you'd be pretty hard pressed to complain about that considering we are in a higher division and overheads for businesses all across the board have shot up in the last year or so.
🔵💙 “We’re looking forward to seeing you ‘Back the Blues’ once again as we take on the challenge of League One together.”
Our 2023/24 season ticket details are here 👇
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Made a sarcastic comment to a bloke in Carlisle yesterday who was wearing a Liverpool shirt.
He said: "You a United fan are you?"
I said: "Yeah, Carlisle."
He looked confused.
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On a positive note, Luke Armstrong is coming on now and looking like he should be a big asset in League Two next season.
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I didn't know Tony Hopper, all I knew about him was him giving his all in every game in a Carlisle shirt
But, putting aside him being an ex-player of ours, the fact that those who did know him all speak so incredibly high of him as a person should tell the rest of us everything
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Quite surprised Jordan Gibson actually showed the motivation to walk all the way back to the dugout to be honest.
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Team for Stockport.
Holy
Armer
Huntington
Mellish
Whelan
Gibson
Guy
Moxon
Patrick
Dennis
Edmondson
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Better quality football and very well worked goal.
Simpson should be answering serious questions why Dylan McGeouch was left in cold for 3 months as passing midfielder while we humped it up the park.
But as he hasn't been asked a searching question all season that won't happen.
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@BBCNews
The bigger concern is how on earth they have earned so much money for appearing in one of the worst television shows that has ever existed.
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Any Carlisle fans going down to the Bradford City game today, keep an eye out on the big screen at half-time for a special birthday message to someone who follows the Blues every game home and away, and whose 70th birthday was yesterday.
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FOR SALE:
A5 size green book. Some marking on front and back due to being glued under armpit for 90 minutes.
Contains unused green shoots, numerous diagrams of bizarre starting line-ups and tactical formations, alongside gorgeous intimate drawings of Byron Webster.
#pressley
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Just had a quick glance at the record of club captain Dean Lewington ahead of the MK Dons match on Saturday.
He's made an amazing 784 appearances for the old Wimbledon and MK Dons over 15 years and 8 months since his debut in early April 2003.
A pretty incredible achievement.
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One great thing last night was how well the attendance stood up when we haven't been getting many results of late, and it was a Champions League night.
Not even two years since we had just 3,172 in for Harrogate on a November Tuesday night, last night was double that at 6,390.
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Love the way the BBC are trying to make out Leeds fans are wonderful just because they travel in big numbers and sing a lot of songs.
So did the Nazis and they weren't very pleasant either.
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Not the result we wanted today, but still an enjoyable afternoon.
Not often you get to witness such an excellent atmosphere with a crowd of that size in a ground like that.
Brilliant support from us Carlisle fans again today, hats off to those who go away every game all season.
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Other way round and we'd be screaming for a red card.
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More than happy to put my name to this with the other 11 people.
The club, our club, YOUR club has too long now stagnated, found itself massively underachieving and is way behind the times in so many areas.
Join us in the campaign for change and modernisation.
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One of the worst days in the Carlisle United supporter calendar as the pubs fill up with all the plastic Liverpool and Man United fans for the armchair derby.
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Cobblers boss Jon Brady:
"We came up against a side who showed a lot of fight. They are fighting for their position in the table, they are fighting for their fans and they are fighting for their manager who is a very good man."
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I'm very surprised Paula Vennells actually remembered to turn up at the Post Office Inquiry, considering she seems to be able to remember fuck all else.
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Stevenage go on incredible two week unbeaten run.
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