JasonKPargin Profile Banner
Jason Pargin, author of John Dies at the End, etc Profile
Jason Pargin, author of John Dies at the End, etc

@JasonKPargin

Followers
64K
Following
115K
Media
3K
Statuses
39K

Author of John Dies at the End & the Zoey Ashe series. Former Editor at https://t.co/rPxhhz6fP4, now: https://t.co/rHIoNS0xCv

Joined March 2009
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@KellytoyDK
normie 𓆏🦔
15 hours
I wonder if there’s some filmmaker in the world of zootopia who just wants to name a film normally and is mad as fuck that they’re obligated to slip in some stupid animal pun
@KellytoyDK
normie 𓆏🦔
1 day
zootopia 2 taking place just weeks after the first movie implies meowana got a live action(?) remake ahead of its release
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@thorku
Thor Nystrom
11 hours
I love how much of an afterthought that was in this video 😂😂
@jzulgad
Judd Zulgad
11 hours
@thorku Now find the kid who sailed away in the untethered hot air balloon.
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@batmancurated
.
13 hours
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@frankiefey
frankie fey 💚
12 hours
wtf is Joker’s Grinky and why are they selling it at my corner store
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@charles270
Charles J. Moore
17 hours
@TheChicagoWave
The Chicago Wave
19 hours
Bloodhound Q50 hangs out with YFG Fatso’s daughter 👀👧🏾
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@JasonKPargin
Jason Pargin, author of John Dies at the End, etc
12 hours
I’m at a store and they’re playing an old Christmas song I’ve somehow never heard in my life and i swear the chorus is something like ‘Get outta here, Mr Frost!’
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@catgirlprostate
maddy catgirlprostate
1 day
I love audiophiles so much. Look at the price of this Amazon listing for wired earbuds and if you laugh you go to hell
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@archaicf0ssil
Yaffa the Lesbian Witch🖖
1 day
Data in his usual monotone voice: your dead son would not be happy with you right now *cut to credits* such a brutal way to end an episode holy shit 😭
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@cholent_lover
berman jewish databank peruser
2 days
X has discovered Ben Stiller’s secret ancestry
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@Rickfromtheteam
Derrick From The Team
5 years
Accidentally typed "lmao" in my family group chat....this is what my mom sent me I'm 24. 😂
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@ConorOrr
Conor Orr
2 days
DeVonta has peak Week One With a Juicer energy.
@ZBerm
Zach Berman
2 days
DeVonta Smith bought a juicer on Black Friday. He’s been making his own juices ever since — orange, apple, pineapple. “Let me tell you something: It’s amazing!” Smith said. He’s planning to start mixing fruits later today.
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@JasonKPargin
Jason Pargin, author of John Dies at the End, etc
17 hours
If an acquaintance or family member has always been weird around you for seemingly know reason, there's a greater than 50% chance it's because they secretly perceive themselves as being in competition with you
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@heyjoydoe
Kitty Parker 👩🏾‍🍳💕
1 day
also, the daughter is an adult with special needs. they staged the kidnapping to “teach her” to not to talk to strangers online so they tricked her, told her she was meeting her celebrity crush and tied her up to a tree in the woods instead
@hemantmehta
Hemant Mehta
2 days
Tammi Hamby was just arrested for staging a fake kidnapping of her own daughter to teach her a lesson. Turns out she's the same Christian woman who crusaded to remove LGBTQ books from the library in the name of child safety. The hypocrisy is WILD. https://t.co/hLQxSCSOry
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@NolanAnalyst
Nolan Archive
1 day
Christopher Nolan in 2020, when Warner decided to release all of its 2021 films simultaneously in theaters and on streaming: “Some of our industry’s biggest filmmakers and most important movie stars went to bed the night before thinking they were working for the greatest movie
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@simonsarris
Simon Sarris
20 hours
I think if you door dash steak tartare the entire app store should close to you. Like an ancient tomb sealing itself forever at the wrong password. You are not prepared for the mysteries of technology.
@kuberdenis
Denislav Gavrilov
2 days
I deadass thought this was an AI image and the egg + meat would come prepared Um… what the actual?
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@justinbieber
Justin Bieber
1 day
If I hit this dictation button after sending a text and it beeps and stops my music one more time, I’m gonna find everyone at apple and put them in a rear naked choke hold Even if I turn off dictation I somehow hit the voice note thing The send button should not have multiple
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@ScottyGZone
Scott Garrard
2 days
My uber driver is arguing with his wife over speaker phone. I don’t know what she wants specifically, but she’s trying to buy something pricy for the kids for Christmas. He is emphatically against it. He claims tips are down and so it’s tough to afford Christmas. Not gonna
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@flieldy
Pink Floyd battle vest
2 days
Why is every website and account trying to force me to create a “passkey”? What’s going on there
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@bryanbehar
Bryan Behar
2 days
Is this really the Dallas Cowboys’ trainer? He looks like one of the guys who let Jack Ruby shoot Oswald.
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@NeilNevins
Blake ™
2 days
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