Melissa McDerpDerp
@somecatsfloat
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Rants from a graphic designer, web developer, hip-hop lover & art nerd.
Southern New Jersey
Joined August 2008
My midwestern ass man said "This intersection should be a circle" and that's the sexiest thing my Jersey ass has heard him say
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My local @ChipotleTweets had a scale & weighed the protein portions for a month. They need to do that at ALL locations ALL the time!
BREAKING: Chipotle COLLAPSED after reporting horrible earnings today. The consumer is OUT of money.
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cheese is by far the most important
Guys, if you are in a relationship, you need to be actively working on making your woman healthier: - get her off birth control and tracking her cycle instead - morning body temp to ensure her thyroid is functioning appropriately - non toxic tampons - feed her beef liver
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What Del The Funky Homosapien did on Clint Eastwood gotta be studied on a university level
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I think instead of kissing at midnight I’m just going to go outside and scream.
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How the U.S. Government Spent your Tax Dollars in 2024: -$7 million on various projects studying magic -$1,513,299 to use kittens in a study to analyze motion sickness. -$419,470 to determine if lonely rats sought cocaine at a greater frequency than happy rats -$123,000 teaching
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GTA San Andreas is 20 years old and it is still more detailed than games releasing TODAY. It's still insane what Rockstar managed to pull off on the PS2 hardware. Here are 10 insane small & hidden details from San Andreas that prove it was ahead of its time. A Thread 🧵
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I wish I could choose Bill Burr's voice on my GPS. I want it to sound incredibly annoyed that it has to explain anything to me.
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Mf looks like a washed-up pirate and ya’ll are surprised? #FloridaMan
Tampa’s viral ‘Lieutenant Dan,’ who refused to leave his boat for Hurricane Milton, has mile-long rap sheet https://t.co/owNeenEiti
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Not sure if I’m mildly depressed or just need stronger coffee ☕️☕️☕️ #NationalCoffeeDay
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I been feeling like a sad clown lately but then my fav rapper sent me an unreleased track so now I’m a slightly less sad clown
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The only thing that could piss me off more than a Kamala speech is an illegal alien eating my dog.
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I'm 2 weeks late, but RayGun's dancing was 10/10 on an interpretive scale. Her confidence alone might have been worth 9 of those points 😂
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This is true 😂
I’m never dating a Virgo placement again lmfaooooo they don’t like anyone including their lovers, you just become their favorite person to somewhat tolerate while they consistently tell you what they think is wrong with you
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Tonight's song: NORE - "Nothin'". Pharrell say the n-word is disgustingggg lmao
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I grew up listening to the radio and MTV. Every now and then, I'll hear an unedited rap song from my youth and it's the most vile shit I've ever heard.
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