After:
-changing supervisors 3 times;
-brain+skin tumour;
-4 brain surgeries;
-one suicidal attempt;
I completed my
#PhD
Sometimes I feel that all employers care about is titles,but a doctorate is about the way to get there & the lessons you learn both personally & academically
Ugly and weird as I might look it matters not.
I survived the surgery, but I am not cured, yet.
It's a long way but smalls steps make a continuum.
I hope I will be back soon, fellows.
Take care
On Tuesday I'm having my brain surgery
In any case I wish to thank Prof Christos Papadimitriou, Prof Sir David Spiegelhalter
@d_spiegel
, Dr Kate Bull, Prof Constantinos Daskalakis
@KonstDaskalakis
and my beloved friends Alkinoos Ioannidis, Xanthippi Paschalidou and Emilia Milou
I didn't submit any papers at
#NeurIPS2021
because of my physical & mental
#health
lately
Nevertheless I did voluntary work for our community (reviewing,chairing etc) & continued researching within & across disciplines.
This won't appear in my CV, but to me, it is still important
Spooky as I am, I don't mind :)
I spent the longest night of the year in the General Hospital of Hellenic Air Force, calculating asymptotic bounds of directed information & transfer entropy.
Nomatter my condition, nomatter the place, Science goes first & I'm honoured to serve it
It's official: should I survive the next couple of months, I will be one of the most intellectually privileged researchers as I will be working by the side of a dream team of collaborators both from Cambridge,UK and Cambridge, MA, USA !
My co-author, when realised my health status, decided very kindly but also unilaterally not to submit our work but rather stop & prioritize my health.
So no
#NeurIPS2020
submission stress for me this year
Medical intermission is on:
Just research for the love of research
Polite announcement:
I am happy to mentor and/or collaborate with people especially those stemming from so-called underrepresented groups.
Please do feel free to contact me if you wish.
PS: I will probably have limited time to commit.
#mentoring
#ML
#AI
#bayesianMethods
On a side note: if you feel melancholic/not-as-successful/not-as-excited during
#NeurIPS2019
#NeurIPS
@NeurIPSConf
(or any other social occasion) bear in mind that you're not alone; lots of people around you probably feel the same
#BeKind
#mindfulness
2/2 During my PhD course I dealt with (immense amounts of)
#abuse
,
#mentalillness
,
#cancer
(6 times),
#pneumonia
(5 times) & I'm still here,trying
I have no idea whether I'm gonna make it or not. Sometimes I feel that it doesn't matter.
To me,it does matter to follow your vision
Polite notice/request to all authors:
could you please be respectful and employ colourblind friendly graphs?
It's a very simple thing to do and makes your work accessible to several fellows.
I do not know how I keep going; all I know is that I do.
Consciousness is a mystery in its own right.
I have high fever, I'm in pain, I have a lot of epileptic seizures but am somehow managing.
Small steps. And patience.
I was just told by my PhD advisor that he finds my commitment to research and Science "truly inspiring".
I think that this is the most fulfilling thing I have ever been told.
I'm a computer scientist and statistician pursuing a PhD at their intersection.
My take regarding
#COVID2019
is that, thus far, the only data/numbers that we can trust is the number of deaths. The number of confirmed cases is extremely biased and certainly not representative.
I'm merely a PhD student & every day I'm under tremendous stress regarding my research & keeping up with voluntary work(reviewing, OCs, talks etc)
Is this how it's going to be for the next of my Academic life?
I mean, I love Academia,but
#WorkLifeBalance
here is quite problematic
I am reading the paper "Towards a Theoretical Understanding of the Robustness of Variational Autoencoders" () by
@cholmesuk
@tom_rainforth
& colleagues; it's a truly insightful & well-written work, which I very must enjoy & admire!
A genuine must-read, imho
I'm under a very strict cortisone therapy
Should this not work I'll have to undergo craniotomy & an unprecedented surgery
In the meanwhile despite the side effects I review papers & try to write up my thesis
Not because there's hope, but because there's no other way than trying
I am
#disabled
. One of the conditions that I have is clinical depression.
The way that job interviews are conducted is, by default, inappropriate for people with such condition; depressed people do not really thrive in promoting themselves. Just a friendly notice. Just saying...
30 years ago a Finnish student
#LinusTorvalds
announced his 'hobby project'. He had no idea that his hobby project will grow up to become one of the most pioneering technologies of the 21st century.
Happy 30th birthday,
#Linux
! 🐧🎂
So I reviewed a paper at ICML & I recommended rejection. I provided an extensive feedback to the authors;so did the fellow reviewers who also suggested rejection. The authors submitted the exact same thing at NeurIPS without addressing the issues we raised.What are they thinking?
I had a horrible appointment with the head of neurosurgery of the hospital I'm about to have my craniotomy
He actually told me that I've zero chances of surviving,no matter what I do,because of the syndrome & the clinical symptoms that I have
It feels like nothing makes sense now
Being a
#disabled
junior researcher in
#AI
comes at a massive price; when your disabilities flare, you are on your own: there is neither medical insurance nor salary for you during this difficult time
This is a very important aspect that needs our attention
#Academia
#Insecurity
I study, I push through but on Monday I have another head surgery and earlier today I had a brain MRA where the good scenario would be another brain surgery.
I am tired.
I am sad.
I cannot understand why (some) people think that being at
@Cambridge_Uni
or
@UniofOxford
or
@MIT
implies that you do not suffer physically and/or mentally.
Being a good student/researcher/Professor implies nothing about your physical/mental status.
@AiDisability
@WellBeingInML
I've already expressed my opinion on the matter:
I really think it is *wrong* to say that someone lost their fight when dying because of cancer/any disease.
When we are sick/undergoing a course of treatment, our bodies respond the way they can.
That's it, there's no magic here
I am fighting, I'm literally fighting, for the rights of
#disabled
in
#AI
I have been discriminated against because of my conditions.
I know that there are many of you out there having faced the same problem.
It's not okay, it's not alright, we need to protest
Law is by our side
I need to be hospitalised
Again
I'm loosing my vision
If you think about it, all great mathematicians & computer Scientists had their vision intact (during their "productive period")
It feels like I'm going to be amputated again, but this time I might not be able to work
Having 0 submissions to
@NeurIPSConf
this year hence 0 accepted papers means that my chances of getting a good academic place next year are very poor. Am I worried?Honestly? Yes. But, optimality is usually theoretical, what we end up doing by evolution is "self-preservation".
I have a defected brain and a single eye with several severe problems based on which I am to continue doing
#research
.
I do not feel that
#Academia
is supportive for "people like me" because of the uncertainty of contracts and lack of "proper" medical insurance.
I'm all alone
The biopsy results are somewhat sad: the tumour was of aggressive type.
Events like this help towards reassessing priorities and perspective
I'm nothing like Prof Sir McKay but I, too, think that there's value in sharing the-less-bright face of life
#keepwalking
#CancerAwareness
I was just granted the 2023 Blackwell-Rosenbluth Award of the International Society for Bayesian Analysis !
So so touched and humbled to have been given such a great honour
I feel like declaring something, especially to those fellows claiming that they are "inspired" by me:
there is a (quite substantial) probability that I might not survive the coming surgery.
Me not making it, doesn't mean that your and mine efforts are in vain.
Just don't give in!
Disclaimer:
The only reason that I share such private+sensitive information is not to take any kind of advantage of my "condition" but to rather remind to all of us that Academia should be (& to an extent is) a
#diverse
,
#inclusive
+
#accessible
place for everyone to join+flourish
Today is my birthday
I decided to celebrate it via donating platelets to Massachusetts General Hospital
@mghfc
It is very important to give back
Gracias a la vida!
#BeKind
The main reason I share so personal information is because we, researchers, human beings, are also subjected to several challenges
Some of us, have to deal with a heck of health problems
Nurturing solidarity is important; people standing by the side of strangers is important
I need to be hospitalised
Again
I'm loosing my vision
If you think about it, all great mathematicians & computer Scientists had their vision intact (during their "productive period")
It feels like I'm going to be amputated again, but this time I might not be able to work
I have just realised and "confessed" to myself that had I chosen to continue writing up my PhD and not focusing on my health since May, I would have probably be dead by now
Sometimes you may fail/let people down (including yourself) but it is always health that comes first.
Gentle disclaimer: I share at Twitter my (very personal) story hoping that there is people out there having gone/might need to go through/being related to the whole thing.
I was inspired by Professor David McKay and encouraged by my beloved friend Dr Kate Bull.
But that's all.
Everytime I'm under general anaesthesia I'm more and more convinced that there's nothing after death. It's just blank; nothing.
Everything just stops
So, everytime I wake up I'm like "you've gotta live your live to the fullest"
That's my deepest wish to everyone, actually
I'm so so glad and honoured to have my proposal accepted by
@CambridgeCMIH
@Cambridge_Uni
-- it's the second time that
@Cambridge_Uni
recruits me :)
I am also very happy and owe a debt of gratitude to Professor Carola Schönlieb
@caromitreka
for accepting me to work with her!
I've noticed a couple of white hair strands on my head and I got so happy: I've made it thus far!
As a good friend of mine once told me:
"To age is a privilege; wear it with pride"
#perspective
#Gratitude
Line of life.
One surgery down, together with my stamina.
I've just regained consciousness after a long & painful brain surgery & the first thing I found out is that I ll need to undergo another two.
Then I read that Trump suspended all new visas.
Why did I bother waking up?
Tonight is my last night at home, by the side of my loved ones. Tomorrow onwards I shall be in Athens, hospitalised in several clinics (mostly neurologic& orthopaedic) whilst (try to continue) working on a couple of ideas & a Neurips paper.
I don't really know what to feel or say
So, today, I start writing the paper whose topic is me, my case study, as doctors said that this would be of interest to the whole community.
I guess this will be the most important thing that I have ever done. My suffering will not be in vain, at last.
#healthcare
#RareDisease
I wish to publicly thank my University
@Cambridge_Uni
and my College
@Catz_Cambridge
for their help and financial support through these, difficult to me, times.
It is highly appreciated and I am really grateful.
Every time that a fellow sends me a message saying that they are inspired by my work despite all the hardships that I've been going through, my eyes get full of tears.
You see, maybe my research will never be awesome but helping people to keep pushing is so much more important...
Gentle request: when reviewing, please make sure that you are "emotionally sober"; the way you feel during reviewing, does affect your response/evaluation.
#Review
#AI
#ML
#CS
Today is a good day, I 've managed to put pain aside and am working again!
Research has always been my escape room -- my favourite place to be, mentally
Huge thanks to all fellow researchers who have been producing all these great pieces of (GAN and Bayesian) mental work!
So far I've been trying really hard to stay alive, visiting more than 10 specialists at least twice per year & yet again I ended up having metastatic cancer
Sometimes there's just nothing more that you can do, you just need to take life as it comes no matter what & that's alright
I love research; that's who I am
I have been reading & thinking & when possible writing about it in hospitals, doctors' waiting rooms, during chemos, MRIs, single-handed, no-sighted etc
I love research & I will continue doing so till my last breath; that's who I am
#determination
I feel like stressing out again that I am determined to support & advocate for
#disabled
people in
#AI
by any means & I shall definitely try to do so through DI&A Chair
@NeurIPSConf
That's what we do
@AiDisability
Please, do reach out.
I am here to help. Please, do to talk me.
I'm in pain, like big time, my health condition implies that I have either undergone a brain stroke or have brain tumour -- doctors are yet to identify what the f*** is going wrong -- my vision has further deteriorated & there are cutting-throat deadlines imposed/running after me
On this day, one year ago, I was undergoing a severe brain surgery
Today, I've just applied to submit my thesis.
One might go through whatever, literally whatever and move forward, living their life according to their choices
"Gracias a la vida"
Publishing at the Journal of the
@RoyalStatSoc
Series B (Methodology) feels quite good -- especially when thinking that this is the product of your MSc thesis
Today I had an honest discussion with my supervisor; one that every such pair should have
She was sweet & told me things that I've always wanted to hear, very precious words, especially these days where I need to have perspective & not to give up
Today, my supervisor helped me be
I'm about to submit my thesis on probabilistic
#ML
@Cambridge_Uni
I can clearly talk about/ understand
#CS
&
#Statistics
(up to an extent)
However,I regularly choose to raise my voice regarding
#disabled
people in
#AI
'cause there's still a lot of things needed to be addressed
Richard Turner and colleagues from
@Cambridge_Uni
@CambridgeMLG
@ETH_en
put together a very interesting piece of work on Gaussian Processes and Variational autoencoders, namely "Sparse Gaussian Processes Variational Autoencoders"
I highly recommend it!
I read a letter that my next/coming department wrote in order to explain why I should move to the USA asap and I bursted into tears.
Some people actually do acknowledge my efforts and scientific/research identity.
It's very touching.
I've been reviewing the whole weekend and I can confidently say that:
1) scientists do try hard
2) I feel optimistic about the future of our field!
#reviewers
#AI
#ML
When life gives you cancer, you can raise awareness on the topic and remind to everyone that they need to take care of themselves and people around them.
We take life as it comes, but we certainly do have a say on how to act upon it
#BeKind
#Cancer
It's really interesting/weird how we react when life happens
I am supposed to undergo a craniotomy & might also need to undergo another risky tumour-removal surgery
Nevertheless, I do work on a side project & think of my thesis write-up
I might not make it,but it's going to be OK
During 2022 I got more holes in my skull, more tumours to deal with, more scars in body and soul
I almost lost myself
It's about time to bring closure and start new
I heartfully wish that 2023 will bing peacefulness and love in our hearts
#HappyNewYear
I feel like a wreck both physically and academically speaking.
Nevertheless, I have been receiving emails from undergrads and MSc students asking me to mentor them and this is truly flattering.
I am a mess, but I still want to help :)
I'm a computer scientist with MSc in Statistics. A big chunk of my research is to deal with uncertainty
Nevertheless, on a personal level, I feel so powerless when it comes to realize how exposed and weak we are when it comes to facing uncertainty and dealing with chances.
Paper of the day:
"Cauchy-Schwarz Regularized Autoencoder"
by Marc Deisenroth
@mpd37
and co-authors.
For those of you interested in
#VAE
, in my opinion, that's a very interesting piece of work
I need to declare that I am only sharing so damn personal info via twitter because I know that there are people out there (that I might don't know) who are going through difficult times as well. So I only want to say out loud that I'm like the & you are not alone & we can do this