S€X Outlaw
@sexual_outlaw
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Last Seen Profiles
Pinned Tweet
There’s 3 ways to do well on this app. Be a white guy pretending he’s black, be a hot girl, or just be schizophrenic
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My job called me at 8:30am saying I had work and said I was late, but they put the schedule out at 8:27am
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This guys says he’s a “podcast sommelier” been watching him do lines off a cumtown vinyl record for about an hour
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Found Meg Bitchell in fallout, should I blow this hoe away?
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It’s crazy how girls know to go to the bathroom together even before they are old enough to know what cocaine is
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Fr though people are cartoonishly bisexual at this Alex G show
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Damn this is the most anyone has ever cared about what I have to say
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She threw it back so hard I flew out of frame like a smash bros character
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Shameless plug but I have good standup and would like to do that instead of service industry stuff
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*Annoying Teacher Voice: “The School shooter doesn’t dismiss you, I dismiss you”
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Guys remember, this app is only for crying and tattling on people
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A Dominican guy taking off all his rings so he can finger a lady
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100% chance he’s in Valhalla now
Man dies after trying to drink all 21 cocktails on menu on Jamaican vacation
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DSA Guy:
“This is my ‘significant brother’; the black guy who has sex with my girlfriend”
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“You must be a comedian who proved the whole world wrong about him if you think we fuckin”
Me:
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Gf hiring a PI just to find out I stare at my ps5 all day and I don’t even turn it on
Girlfriend hires PI on boyfriend because she thinks he’s cheating. Just to find out he’s getting food and watching a movie by himself
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“Mr.Beast here! Today I’m making an NFT of the prophet Mohamed”
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Oh you make 6 figures working for a mutual fund? She let me hit raw Bc I like Cocteau Twins
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Started imagining how bloated her feet probably get when she’s pregnant and now I’m so horny I think I have to call out of work tomorrow
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The feminine urge to pick a different table at a restaurant even though the one you’re at is fine
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Bro, she’s not hot. She just has a trust fund’s worth of tattoos
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Get a DUI and marry a woman from the Philippines
What’s the libertarian solution to the BlackRock problem?
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I earnestly used to think the “Mandela Effect” was white people thinking Morgan Freeman was Nelson Mandela
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Cause they’re not men
I feel so uneducated I went through every single face and name and didn’t know any of them smdh 🤷♂️
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Anyways here’s Aaron Ransom being America’s best comedian
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I been on that
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Was visiting North Carolina, now I’m in Boston. If you go far enough north in this beautiful country, people start being racist again
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Alcohol is a vice for people that have to pay their own bills
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Worked in restaurants since I was 14. You really do get a sense of who would own slaves if it was still legal
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People in the middle of nowhere’s fear of being canceled is so funny. They genuinely think Brooklyn white people are gonna take everything they have. No, the bank’s gonna take all your stuff
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White guys get old and either never talk to another human being for the rest of their lives, or they’ll talk to every Uber driver and waiter they have for the rest of their lives
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Really wish I had found a video of a guy putting a cigs in a tail pipe
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Going as a version Nardwaur where he interviews politicians this Halloween
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Heard a middle schooler on the train talking about how his dad going out to buy vape pods and not coming back
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Katt Williams challenges Kevin Hart to a poop off 💩😵💫
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Telling my kids this was Theo Von
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We should be able to pistol duel celebrities
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I can always spot a rogan fan at the sauna mainly bc they’re almost always doing karate in the sauna
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Was at an open mic. Saw a guy say “Women be shopping” and he started rapping instead of doing standup
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