samuel
@samtrayter
Followers
3,523
Following
995
Media
29,294
Statuses
291,304
a normal guy, into normal things, in a normal way
cleveland, oh
Joined October 2010
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queen elizabeth was just in my DMs talking about flying me out for the weekend. this is crazy. RIP.
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when u try to cook and hope its good cause you love her very much and just want her to be proud of you
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charlie brown snapped with “good grief” and winnie the pooh cooked with “oh bother”
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a single shoegaze riff would turn a medieval peasant into a fine red mist
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yes, i would love to be the most mentally ill 6 yr old
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ur basketball team is losing cause of your moral failings as a fan actually
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straight up no i did not kd
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this trade
The Pistons and Wizards are finalizing a deal to trade Marvin Bagley, Isaiah Livers, and two second-round picks for forwards Danilo Gallinari and Mike Muscala, sources tell ESPN.
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actually showing my dad peep show was a mistake. he just texts me stuff like this now out of the blue.
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oh this should absolutely come back lmfao
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hitting my 5th three over some woman i met on hinge
They’re opening a basketball version of Top Golf called Jumpshot Live👀🏀🔥
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this tweet literally got worse word by word
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this is so real, packing a lunch that you know will induce a wage theft shit around 1:30-2pm
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my main proof sports arent rigged is the yankees losing the 9/11 world series to the fucking diamondbacks
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i wanna be one of the townies on a triple d episode where i say that this diners apple pie gets me dumb hard and guy fieri has no choice but to look at the camera and say “thats out of bounds!”
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srry i faved ur tweet 12 hrs after the fact but in my defense it was in my "in case you missed it..." AND i love you very much
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you see jd v*nces tweets and fully understand why his mom traded him for some perc 30s
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if i threw a baseball 102mph you wouldn’t be able to tell me shit. id do armed robberies with baseballs.
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thank you for all you did master chief
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funniest thing about the nba is how one player is just straight up an enemy of the state in turkey
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me after smoking legal amish country sour diesel
Decision Desk HQ projects Ohio Issue 2 has passed.
#DecisionMade
: 9:12pm EST
Follow more results here:
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*bowing* my liege
Weiner dog wearing armor at the Michigan Renaissance Festival (2002)
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a new type of gf is arising:
matthew dellavedova gf
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the guardians are 16-6 since lil baby posted his contradictory stop being racist fit
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you hear that queens? start fighting over screens and forcing dribblers to their off hand.
Rick Carlisle on the Pacers:
“Even dating a pretty girl gets boring after a while if she can’t guard anybody.”
(via
@TonyREast
)
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ja in the players only meeting
REPORT: The Grizzlies held a players-only meeting to discuss off the court road discipline with Steven Adams leading the charge, per
@ShamsCharania
.
After the meeting, Ja Morant still went out to party at the club which led to the gun incident.
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that sucks. i have tons of friends.
wtf is a “group chat?” i am an adult, i only have two friends and they don’t know each other
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fleetwood mac is proof positive that infidelity, cocaine and passive aggression can create something beautiful
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THE CAVS ARE PLAYING ANDRE DRUMMON, JAVALE MCGEE, LARRY NANCE, AND THON MAKER AT THE SAME TIME
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threatening to contribute at the level of a role player is so funny
“I’m used to a certain standard for myself. … One of these games I’m going to break out for three or four threes and change the game.” 👀
- Dillon Brooks
(Via
@DamichaelC
)
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no way are they calling their nut milk company JOI
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seeing susie essman in an incredibly normal outfit is jarring
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high schooler in traffic court vibes
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reading about the guy that shot james garfield, they absolutely boomed his ass with this one
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ur going to hell balloon pervert
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thats uncle junior
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congrats to steve nash. got out before he gets asked about the elders of zion in postgame on a wednesday night in charlotte.
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“you know, it was 1993 and i was telling someone that something wasnt right about waco, texas”
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ppl will drink a seltzer and look you dead in the eyes and say they taste good. i was born in the morning, not this morning.
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tweeting “series doesnt start till the home team loses” and “now its a best of 3 series….” every day for the next 2 months>>>>>>>>>>>
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@coopercooperco
*something with the same hue of snow getting churned into mud*
and the color is beautiful
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dave chappelle being a freak loser on a local level. and they say triple threats dont exist anymore.
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ginsberg is absolutely at the top of the mid card mad men characters
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julia fox in uncut gems is like when mo williams randomly dropped 50
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the unstoppable force of embiid, harden, maxey vs the immovable object of doc rivers and the rest of the 76ers roster
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imagining the guy who has “gamer girl bath water” in their cart and then has a change of heart upon finding out the seller is problematic
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charlie gooch
Florence Pugh spotted with new man Charlie Gooch after Zach Braff split
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*rudy gobert deep throating reporters recorders*
are zhou triggered hon hon hon
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biden said the taliban’s hustle and grind was different
"We gave them every tool they need- an air force- something Taliban does not have. We gave them every chance to determine their own future. What we could not provide them was the will to fight for their own future." - Biden on Afghanistan
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baker plays football how i play madden where i decide what button im throwing too before i even get out of the play select screen
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sahbabii is the master of saying insanely foul shit over some of the most peaceful production in the world
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just the funniest guy on the planet
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scraping the bottom of the grinder for my vaccine>>>>>>>>>>
Massive news: We may have WAY more Pfizer vaccine doses than we originally thought — because health care workers noticed extra in the vials.
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thinking about swiping right so i can get murdered by whoever put their mannequin on tinder
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a round from a high caliber rifle
what modern day thing do you think would kill a victorian era child? I think a single sip of 4loko would wipe them out
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tyler herro looks like a guy at a bar who asks you if you think his wife is hot. either answer may send him into a fit of rage.
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for who? the physical therapy wing at cedars sinai?
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nba saw the stakes of baseballs all star game and upped the ante by putting resources for children on the line
this.......LEAGUE
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god imagine seeing the “whos on first” bit for the first time and just absolutely losing your shit
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i think slim jims is at the center of the human treats/dog treats venn diagram
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bro they were giving uncle junior hell for eating pussy. couldnt believe it lmfao
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cant even fathom how good that probably feels
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🎶 woke up with my toolie what it do?
meet me in the alley with the troops 🎶
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when she puts me in the george lopez show collection>>>>>>>>
Sometimes you gotta spoil your man ☺️
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