.

RT @bf_crane: Holy moly me oh my, women are my favorite guy

Found @Junebagio’s AIM account

Was driving home and “Cat’s In The Cradle” came on. Let me say with both my lungs: FUCK YOU, HARRY CHAPIN!.

RT @FeralPHunter: me and hoo

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“Now listen to me yodel”

RT @jakedc6: the holy trinity of scoreboard spellings

My daughter thought she could break the world record for fastest french fry eater, and it gave me an opportunity to teach her about the GOAT— the greatest competitive athlete America has ever produced: Joey Chestnut. We went over highlights of some of his 55 world records, and.

RT @HenpeckedHal: My daughter came downstairs and offered me a piece of candy. She was learning to share, and I was proud. Moments later my….

QT fighting on the tl is the worst. That is all.

Father of everlasting goodness, our origin and guide, be close to us and hear the prayers of all who praise you. Forgive our sins and restore us to life. Keep us safe in your love. Grant this through our Lord Jesus Christ, your Son, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy.

What I love most about twitter is the US could actually exchange nukes with Russia, and— assuming some of us were still alive and the electrical grid and internet still worked— someone would post, “see, told you Trump was Putin’s puppet!”.

RT @JasonKPargin: If there's one episode of TV I wish I could force everyone to watch and internalize, it's the 30 Rock where Liz, who has….

RT @97Vercetti: Dentist: "You've been grinding in ur sleep". Me: "I appreciate it big dawg"

RT @_Realtee: Having siblings is so important because you learn the exact amount you can annoy someone before they try to physically kill y….

RT @coffeetime33: It’s not jingling to you that I’m standing on christmas.

It will be just as much a “tragedy” when one of these cave crawlers dies as it was when the guy from Grizzly Man did. Everyone instinctively knows not to do this. But hey, keep fucking that chicken, dude.

RT @TheAndrewNadeau: Crazy that the Jurassic Park was so good at making dinosaurs but so bad at making fences. Like, of the two, fences are….

I’m thinking of buying a Jeep but I don’t want to participate in the stupid duck thing. Is that even possible?.