Rohit Awasthi
@rohitawasthi
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Following
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5,337
Statuses
43,437
Grass is green where you water it | Marketing | Startups | Poetry #pickaword | Dogs #kaiser | Movies | Friend | Joker | Anti Man-Child Lko-Calicut-Mum-Del-Blr
Bengaluru, India
Joined January 2009
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Last Seen Profiles
Pinned Tweet
Every year, we should write our obituary. It may have 2 things:
1) What we want to say to the world
2) List of people we love and loved. Things we are grateful for.
Over time, first should keep getting less and second larger.
#ShowerThoughts
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If you can't hide the crime scene, pretend to be a victim.
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Not getting laid at home, kids dont relate with you, you haven't cried on a friend's shoulder in ages, social circle is all signaling.
Only options left are marathon, coffee or credit cards.
I find it very amusing that people with 60 LPA salary spend 2 hours optimising for which credit card to use so as to get that free flight ticket and get 10 rs cashback on CRED
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Anu (23) works at our home in Lucknow. Got married early, making ends meet as a househelp, but keeps dreaming.
Today she passed her 10th exams in first division. Her happiness on phone, can't describe.
Go go girl!
A night out spend for us can be life changing for someone. ❤️
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2017-18 (39 yr)- Divorced, exited my companies w debt, changed cities. Back to job. Written off.
2020-21-Paid off debts. Meds for depression, anxiety. 1 yr sabbatical
2023 (45) -Decent $ runway. ENM relationship for 3+ yrs, best parties of life, top friends, better health
We need more examples of people who have paused and recalibrated their life.
If you've made a big change mid-life or mid-career, quote this and share your story.
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A man is truly rich when at the end of the day there's someone taking their pants off, lovingly.
Rest can keep filling their life with gaps.
One of my very rich cousin jiju ( 100 crore plus ) told me last night how he can’t wear Levi’s anymore cos everyone can buy Levi’s now. So he shifted to GAP, and doesn’t wanna wear a cheap brand anymore. I sat there smiling wearing my Levi’s jeans.
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Please help. My brother in law Nikhil Sharma is missing from IIT Roorkee from 28th March. Please RT.
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32 years without you Tanya Awasthi.
Rule in peace sis.
30 years ago on this day we lost Tanya, my sister in an accident while she was telling a joke. Way to go sis.
I am not of the jealous kind but I will always be mightily jealous of people who have siblings. Please tell them often how much you love them.
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30 years ago on this day we lost Tanya, my sister in an accident while she was telling a joke. Way to go sis.
I am not of the jealous kind but I will always be mightily jealous of people who have siblings. Please tell them often how much you love them.
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This is a classic. On one of laziest things you have ever seen.
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*Gets a call*
Sir, I am abc calling from Tanishq. Happy Anniversary!
Me: Mam, it's been 4 years since my divorce.
*awkward silence*
*both laugh*
I was feeling quite sad since morning, but this made my day! 😅🤦🏻
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Sir, Tomato in which slot?
Vegetables to be sold from 6am to 11am, fruits 2pm to 6pm in all wholesale markets in Delhi: Development Minister Gopal Rai
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Since this is getting popular, let me share a classic joke.
(Don't try this at home)
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Few minutes into Captain Miller and I am like yaar, South Indian cinema is soooo far ahead of Bollywood.
Also, Dhanush ❤️
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Interesting note: IN 90s/2000s, when dance bars were rampant, "Restaurant & Bar" meant a dance bar and "Family Restaurant & Bar" meant a normal bar :)
One thing I love about Bombay are these small 'Restaurant & Bar' outlets in every street (unlike Delhi) serving value for money food. Especially seafood. 🤩
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@anymysha
@sindhicrawford
Not mine but someone had tweeted - If you are living in Bangalore and your partner stays more than 5 kms away, you are in a long distance relationship.
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Put your last name in the gif search and post the one that pops up.
Perfect, Saare Zameen Par.
Put your last name in the GIF search and post the one that pops up.
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@ZomatoIN
@AksharPathak
Bro, chai samosa Rs 15 mein aa jaata tha before food delivery apps arrived. Now gotta pay ~Rs 100 for it and Rs 60 for delivery. Itna mehnga fuel lenge to gaadi hi bechni pad jayegi.
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Thanks for all the love, wishes and happiness folks. The day ends the way it should.
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Entering my 40th, sharing my story on Entrepreneurship, personal struggles, mistakes & redemption which my younger self wouldn't have been able to share, fearing judgement & exposing my vulnerability. But now, even if this helps 1 person, my job is done :)
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Everyone who's asking which song, it's Sway. Originally sung by Dean Martin in 1954, it has had many versions. My favorite
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For a brief time in Indian history, Ravindra Jadeja is the most hated one.
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When I read about AI and Machine learning based Wealth Management ventures, I am kinda reminded of this story.
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If you are 35+ and have decent money to study something new, choose a second career, what will it be?
For example, I am an engineer (lol) by education and marketeer by practice but would love to have a shot at law.
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2 ghante baad yeh pizza order karega.
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Hey
@CrownitApp
, if not for Old Monk, we would have been really pissed for stealing our concept. Next time your team needs inspiration, send them over with some old monk, we will oblige. Free of charge.
@sameergrov
@kunalb11
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@TheTweetOfGod
The best I have read today on this- "Doug Jones’ margin of victory is so small Roy Moore is going to try to molest it" Source:
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@akm1410
@Subhash_ati9
If you are in mairjuana business and stlll have to take a loan, you are doing narcos wrong.
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@shreyas
In Bangalore, if your partner stays more than 5kms away from you, you are in a long distance relationship.
I hope you get the idea.
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Lovely story. Till 2013, every quarter an email will go to all Snapdeal customers with
@1kunalbahl
's id. We would get 15-20k responses from them, directed to Kunal. Rarely good, many bad, few ugly.
This insane guy would reply to each email with cc to core team! 🙌🙌🙌
This is the story of how
@snapdeal
got its first angel investor 14 years ago, who still continues to be an investor in the company. A short 🧵about kindness and serendipity...👇
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Bengaluru weather is so perfect for athletes, creators, writers, musicians, artists, theater, research. Ironical it's known for tech, they gonna sit in AC anyway 🙈
#Bangalore
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Since Winter is coming, my favorite joke on it and may be Venture Capital
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When spaces are done right. Hardly need to use fan for like 6 months in a year. This Atomberg seems sufficient for the Bengaluru summer.
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Time to absorb all the love and celebrate with a drink may be?
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As layoffs loom, here are some pointers for marketing people in Startups. For the ones with 10+ year experience. (The VPs/AVPs)
A startup after 20+ people or Seed A starts looking for people who know the playbook and can build the system to stabilise/scale.
(1/n)
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Kaiser going through all your messages, love and wishes, just like this. Such a good boy ❤️
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This blew up. So sharing a wish and a must read book for my fellow Legends.
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@arfunnnnn
@DeePakao
Virginity and youth gives you acquisition ideas around love. That you have to get them at any cost. Driven by possessiveness, jealousy and want.
In 40s, finding love feels like growing together, is constructive, tolerant, accepting. Butterflies are a bonus.
30s is confusing.
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@abhishek_tri
This made me write this:
She isnt waiting for the moon,
She is waiting for you
Cos you believe
In the stories of the moon,
And she believes in you.
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@asxna
I was this person.
But when I met folks from small towns or NE, I realised how privileged I was to live in a city, study in English, exposure to so many things, if not all. There are smarter ppl than us, but they didnt get the opportunity & training to belong where they could.
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This aged well.
The fact that there are warnings like "Do not drink" on bottles of bleach makes me realise that Donald Trump can become president.
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If she was there today, she would have been at least 5'8, charmingly diplomatic, most probably in politics or bureaucracy and always impeccably dressed for the occasion.
I was (am) the emotional chu but she knew where power lies and how to string it to get what she wanted 😊
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Nothing to see folks, just an avalanche rescue pupper ❤️
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Buying a flat isn't success, having a place where you are loved and valued is.
Marrying a great looking person isn't home run, breaking the bed and bread with them is.
Getting promoted ain't it, number and quality of people who want to work with you is.
- Baba Hawasthi
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Prepare yourself to deserve what you desire.
To make Dad move, gave a fitness band on Diwali and told him if he does 8k steps/day we boys are going on a trip abroad. Man has been consistently clocking 12k+ steps!
Soon we shall 😁🤘
Happy 73rd to Dad. I love you.
"Ilaaj yahi hai ki majboor kar diya jaun,
Warna yun to kisi ki suni nahi maine"
Happy 72nd you crazy handsome man. I love you. ❤️
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Saar
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There's a book. With my name in it.
In a library at University of Cambridge!
@apurv
☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️
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Celebrating the success and fundas of
@ravihanda
with
@pacificleo
@IT_Kabootar
@roshanonline
@shobhitic
@JitinNair1
🍻🍻🍻
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This was written for her by a family friend who stayed at our home for a month while at LU.
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Scoops , scandals and audio tapes with incorrigible
@ravihanda
and
@IT_Kabootar
@roshanonline
@malikgarv
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@zhr_jafri
Thanks for sharing this. Can we use this as a case study in our to rehabilitating FOSLA* member program?
*Frustrated One Sided Lovers Association
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@WeekendInvestng
If I survive this, all my energy will be focused towards moving out of India. Need to be treated as a human.
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Give me people of Mumbai, food and infra of Delhi and weather of Bangalore. ❤️
Mumbai is a very busy city, no one is free, no one cares for each other.
Meanwhile Mumbaikars:
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To 3 Years!
Hum Nawab Lucknow ke
Tum Trivandrum Tamburati
Main ek farzi engineer
Tum masters in lit priye
Main kasrati khiladi
Tum Maharani of Couch
Main hun jagta jaldi
Tum alarm ka khel priye
Mushkil hai apna mel priye
Ye pyar nahi hai khel priye
@NikitaKurup
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Friends ask me why I don't bring Kaiser with me to Bangalore. I can't leave him alone and then this is how he's treated in Lucknow by parents.
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🤯🤯🤯
"Attempting to escape from prison is legal in Germany. Attempting to escape from prison isnt punishable, as the law considers 'freedom' to be a basic human instinct. A prisoner who damages property,murders or assaults someone while escaping will be guilty of those crimes."
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@KyaUkhaadLega
Here's me having a sip at Chang La breaking my own previous record at Zero Point (Sikkim, 14xxx ft)
#TeamOldMonk
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This blew up. I can't recommend this book more to my fellow men.
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I am not working anymore and looking at my savings, was skeptical to donate, but then came dogecoin!
This is for you Kaiser 🙏
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Mutton Korma. Marinaded overnight, Cooked slowly for 3 hours in Desi ghee. Melts in your mouth with tangy, pepper and cream flavors, followed by juice burst. Should marry myself for this 😍
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I will pay for Twitter if they have a private space for people who joined before 2012. Those were the people and times. ✌️⚡🍺
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From winning trophies in College with
@avallark
to now working together to make flying easier for the World.
Joined
@VerteilNDC
as Head of Marketing. ✈️🙌❤️
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