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@TheTweetOfGod

Followers
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Following
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Statuses
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Come join Me at @TheTweetOfGod @universeodon .com. Still can't help plugging My book "The Book of Pslams" out now:

Heaven
Joined October 2010
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
Explore trending content on Musk Viewer
Pinned Tweet
Well, I'm out. This is My final tweet. From now on you can find Me at . It's been a great ride, and the ride continues. Fuck you Elon Musk, you anti-union, megalomaniacal, X Æ A-XII-son-calling piece of shit. Please retweet this and then join Me. Bye.
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It’s only been a few hours and Stephen Hawking already mathematically proved, to My face, that I don’t exist.
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My aim's not what it used to be.
@ABC
ABC News
6 years
Striking photo captures bolt of lightning behind the U.S. capitol as widespread severe weather moves east.
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No. No. Negative. Untrue. False. Incorrect. In no way the case. No.
@thehill
The Hill
4 years
NEW: Trump rallies evangelical supporters: "We have God on our side"
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In an ideal scenario the President of the United States and the worst human being in the world would be two different people.
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When a rapist gets a woman pregnant, only one of them should be considered a criminal.
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No.
@RightWingWatch
Right Wing Watch
3 years
Former congresswoman Michele Bachmann has a personal request for God: "Lord, would you allow Donald Trump to have a second term as president of the United States."
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If you can't get along with Canada you're not human.
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Fuck you asshole.
@realDonaldTrump
Donald J. Trump
6 years
School shooting in Texas. Early reports not looking good. God bless all!
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One day someone should start a religion based on the teachings of Jesus Christ.
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I can only save the Queen for so long.
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You're welcome.
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I don't.
@JoeMyGod
JoeMyGod
3 years
Sarah Palin: I'll Run For Senate If God Wants Me To -
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I'm leaving. Messi, take over.
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YOU'RE WELCOME.
@realDonaldTrump
Donald J. Trump
4 years
Tonight, @FLOTUS and I tested positive for COVID-19. We will begin our quarantine and recovery process immediately. We will get through this TOGETHER!
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I meant on a date.
@thedailybeast
The Daily Beast
7 years
Pastor: God wants Trump to "take out" Kim Jong Un
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Don. It’s God. You’re fired. @realDonaldTrump
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What the fuck, Twitter. Seriously. What the fuck. What the fuck is this.
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Most people who doubt women's claims of assault do NOT doubt a 2,000-year-old book's claims that I had a son who rose from the dead.
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I just got My hand back. #RIPMaradona
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Wrong. That's why I gave you two hands.
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Donald Trump killed his personal assistant, Carolyn Gombell, in October 2000. He strangled her because he'd gotten her pregnant and was threatening to tell the press. Then he bribed NYPD Police Chief Bernie Kierik to cover it up. IT'S TIME TO INVESTIGATE. #JusticeForCarolyn
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America: where a black man can't take a knee on a football field for thirty seconds, but a white cop can take a knee on his neck for eight minutes.
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And soon you'll get to thank him in person.
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I have lost control of the situation.
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@realDonaldTrump No. You lost. You're a loser. You're a huge loser. You're the biggest loser the world has ever known. You are many other negative things, but above all you are The Ultimate Loser.
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Don't tell Me what to do, shitbag.
@realDonaldTrump
Donald J. Trump
4 years
God Bless the USA!
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Being gay is not a choice but being an asshole is.
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And every single night I tell you to fuck off.
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I most certainly did not, fat Vin Diesel.
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Abortion should only be permitted in cases of rape, incest, and when the woman chooses it.
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Twitter can’t verify Me because you can’t either.
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UPDATE: Doctors at Walter Reed say the President is “in hypocritical condition”.
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If gay people are a mistake, they're a mistake I've made hundreds of millions of times, which proves I'm incompetent and shouldn't be relied upon for anything.
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I've never gotten so many prayers from atheists in My life.
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Instagram and Facebook are currently not working, as are democracy, society and a healthy sense of self.
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SHIT! I FORGOT JUNIOR'S BIRTHDAY!
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See you all soon!
@CBSNews
CBS News
4 years
Over 1,200 people attend Louisiana church service, defying coronavirus ban: "We will continue"
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No.
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I genuinely don't remember making you all this stupid.
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Six feet away or six feet under.
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Homosexuality is not a choice. Homophobia is.
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Don't you ever fucking quote Me again, you hideous witch.
@IvankaTrump
Ivanka Trump
4 years
“This is what the Lord said: I have heard your prayer and seen your tears. I will heal you.” 2 Kings 20:5
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What the fuck is wrong with Me?
@Fact
Fact
5 years
A dolphin's nipples are located in its anus.
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Today is the shortest day of the longest year.
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Ain't listenin' bitch.
@RightWingWatch
Right Wing Watch
3 years
Presidential spiritual adviser Paula White is currently leading an impassioned prayer service in an effort to secure Trump's reelection.
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Privilege doesn't get much whiter than making a Roman-era Palestinian look like this.
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I dislike the vast majority of you.
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No it didn’t. He’s still President.
@CNBC
CNBC
4 years
America just took out the world's no. 1 bad guy
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Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, he'll contribute to the global overdepletion of the ocean. So give him a salad, maybe.
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I'm not a parody account. You're a parody species.
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My GPS sucks.
@thehill
The Hill
5 years
Sinkhole opens up a block away from White House
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The President of the United States is a fucking piece of shit.
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What part of the Bible did you get that from, Joe? The part with all the guns in it?
@WalshFreedom
Joe Walsh
6 years
I have a right to speak my mind, practice my religion, freely assemble, and carry a firearm. These rights come from God, not government.
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I'd love to tell you this is a sign from Me, but it's actually just a promotion for a gay bar in Georgetown.
@EricHolthaus
Eric Holthaus
5 years
Dear God let this be a good sign
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The President of the United States is insane.
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So long motherfucker.
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Happy birthday to President Trump, who is a fucking piece of shit.
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I miss you Barack.
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I TOOK BETTY WHITE?!? NOW?!? I am a terrible, horrible, cruel, miserable God.
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This is a scary time for young men who commit sexual assault and want to get away with it.
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If anyone asks I’m Canadian.
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The White House is a terrorist organization.
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Larry King will NOT stop with the questions.
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Fuck you.
@TomiLahren
Tomi Lahren
3 years
Earth to God.
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No. Fuck you.
@realDonaldTrump
Donald J. Trump
4 years
TODAY IS A NATIONAL DAY OF PRAYER. GOD BLESS EVERYONE!
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It was a prank call.
@thehill
The Hill
6 years
Author: Pence thinks God is "calling him" to be president-in-waiting
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Not as close as you, Margie. See you Thursday!
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Will the owners of the blue planet between Venus and Mars please attend to your vehicle. It is overheating.
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Homosexuality is not a choice, but homophobia is.
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Attention: Will the owners of a blue planet with plate tectonics please attend to your vehicle. It is overheating.
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I'm not sure how much longer I can save the Queen after this. #HarryandMeghanonOprah
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I'm going to turn the universe off and then back on again and see if that works.
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Admission to heaven is 90% determined by spelling and grammar.
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That fly is Me. You're welcome.
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No.
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Say what you like about the President, but you have to admit: he's a fucking piece of shit.
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RIP Irrfan Khan.
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Fuck fuck fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
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No one thanks Me for Friday anymore.
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He didn't have a driver's license either, dipshit.
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I am now both the biggest unverified account on Twitter and the biggest unverified entity in the universe.
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This account doesn't mock God. This account IS God. I am the King of the Universe, the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End, and just the shit in general. And if you don't believe Me, you can go to hell. Or Facebook.
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Try not to take yourself too seriously. After all, you're an idiot.
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If anything happens to My Twitter account, I want you always to remember how little I cared about any of you.
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If you want to keep dangerous weapons out of the hands of the mentally ill, don't elect them President.
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I don't break out My Noah bit for just anybody.
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Just because Jesus died for your sins doesn’t mean you should keep committing them, assholes.
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No.
@realDonaldTrump
Donald J. Trump
7 years
I am so proud of our great Country. God bless America!
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Everyone's asking to skip forward to 2021. Trust Me, you don't want that.
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This Thanksgiving I am grateful to everyone who doesn’t believe in Me for trying to keep the world safe from everyone who does.
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Worst species ever.
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Bullshit.
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Funny, you never hear about anti-ventilators.
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WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING?!
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Putin is grabbing Trump by the pussy.
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It's shut.
@HuffPost
HuffPost
8 years
If God opens the door, Sarah Palin says she'll run again
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