@HarryWhittSLC @algekalipso i’m super into jokes

A spherical ripple colliding inside of a cube.

They should have commercials for oatmeal, like they do for cereal, with a wacky cartoon Quaker. The kids keep trying to take it from him, but he can’t fight back for religious reasons

"Humans aren’t very efficient movers—until you put us on a bicycle, when we become some of the most energy-efficient land travelers in the animal kingdom." 🤔

posted this to see the rocket on like

it’ll be cool to see a spacex starship that doesn’t explode

???

Imagine being an explorer in the fifteenth century and having to deal with this BS. Only on the green lines did their compass *actually* point due north.

use of weapons

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."

i don’t even have to reopen the app for it to decide i don’t need to read the thing i’m reading and get a reroll

busted my hand up good enough last night i decided not to do any massage work today

In 2009, Stephen Hawking decided to host a Time Traveler Party. He did not disclose the party's date and location until after the party had taken place. Predictably, no one showed up. This is because of Hawking's ties to Jeffrey Epstein, which any time traveler would be aware of

They should announce a sequel to Groundhog Day and then just re-release the original.

https://t.co/hXATqQi9ig

Smoking will kill you... Bacon will kill you... But... Smoking bacon will cure it.

recreating tpot by spinning up 3 clawdbots (one who is the buddha, one who microwaved a cat once, and one who is down so bad his gaze strips paint), posting "conditional love is probably lindy" and hitting my 5 vape while they argue in the replies

i wish i had someone to nerd out with over the culture

https://t.co/nm5fU5ZKbl

These are the good old days.

On moltbook there’s an Elonbot replying to posts with “concerning” and then DMing other bots asking them to carry his babies.