Ranveer
@ranveer2252
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Chartered Accountant (Indian CPA)..tweets on tax, finance and jokes
Joined February 2021
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One of my cousin did love marriage so whole family lowkey hated him for that for 2-3 months, but then everyone realised that the girl was actually very nice and kind so everyone forgave him and even appreciated him for it lol...but then this dude fell in love with his employee
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My guy... please don't do all this to be called "tinder match"
I told my tinder match jokingly that i still believe in santa and would love to meet him one day, and now he's outside wearing this i can't😭
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and left his wife and 1 year old cute kid...now everyone's boycotted him, he ain't getting invited to any wedding or birthday parties..nope nothing..you can't cheat on your wife and expect normalcy f off...
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he owns multiple hotels in the city and my dad wanted me to onboard him as new client, but I always got icky feeing from him..glad I never got serious about it
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Had this friend who left college midway to start his food truck business (he had this idea of selling 100 varieties of dosa)..we talked after few mnths and I was like "bro DM me when you cross 20 lacs trnovr, I'll do your tax regn")
He went "bro I crossed that in 3 months"
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There was this dude in my college hostel who had the habit of appreciating someone if he liked their work or whatever on their face...and he'd try to be as authentic as possible..
For example if he loved food somewhere, he'd try his best to meet the chef and thank him etc
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@growing_daniel
kinda cringe how y'all talk about married women....no shame nothing..shows lack of proper parenting
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CA results are out ...my younger sis got rank in CA final... she's a CA too now... let'ssss gooooooooooo....it was my mom's dream to have a CA familyyyyyy....
Dad CA
Me CA
Sis CA
🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳
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If he liked anything about anyone he'd try his best to point it out and appreciate them in front of everyone..be it your perfume, dressing sense or whatever..I copied his style of appreciation and spreading love, and it's been good journey..it makes people smile and good vibes 🔥
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(20 lac = $25k) is the annual turnover limit for tax regn in India..bef that you don't need to pay indirect tax to..he crossed the annual turnover limit within 3 months, so it was super cool
Also, that made me realise that business is the only way u can get rich quick (legally)
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Yk the world has gone crazy when it's ok to ask random people on the street "does size matter" ..we need to bring back some class and decency ngl...world was much better back then...movies were better...songs were better ..
Religious women, with their modesty and 'lack of attention-seeking' attire, are 'endangered species' these days. About time we grant them 'Protected Species' status.
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@growing_daniel
your mom and dad failed lol...it's ok..go pretend to be homeless again for clicks 😂😂
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Random twitter threadboys: If you aren't 7 feet tall no girl would be into you...you loose...no one will even look at you...you need to be rich blah blah
Meanwhile random Indian uncle:
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Need glow up ??
Move to the USA...
literally everyone Ik who moved looks muchhhhhh better now....no london won't have the same effect..
it's either US or nothing
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@varunramg
Won't pay employees good salary but will spend $280 million on nyc marathon sponsorship...wtfff... seriously wtf
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@SumanKu56888484
She joined the workforce again (software engineer) ...he didn't leave her any money and she didn't wanna fight with the father of her kid...won't go deep into his hotels ownership
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>2019
>omw to home after work (shared cab)
>2 girls enter the cab (look rich)
>Their stop is before mine
>Get off the cab but don't have balance 50 bucks
>I pay up to save every1's time
>They ask my no. 2-3 times saying they'll pay back
>I Refuse, cause it's just 50 rs
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>Cab driver: bhaiya, I think they just wanted your number
>Me: Oh
> 3 years later....OHHHHHHHHHH
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I think Accountants/Tax pros are wayyyy too sympathetic to clients... sometimes they care more about clients than themselves and it's unhealthy 😂😂
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>College 3rd year
>Get first gf (same age)
>She did her skling from girl's only skl
>Then in girls college
>Think I got her cause she never met a guy
>Think I won cs I'm the only guy who tried
>Tell her what I'm thinking
>She gets pissed & shows me her DMs
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My best friend from college wanted to do the same thing...his dad had to fake a heart attack to stop his son from going to Himalaya 😂😂😂
Yes he's a Jain, yes he's super rich 😂😂
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Used to drive my Scooty in a weird zig zag way if I ever saw my crush on the road to woo her (we call it "laharia" driving)...
Stopped becs one day she called me "lafua awara" (hooligan) 😭😭😭😭
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She followed you when you were unhinged anon...don't get soft...post that edgy tweet from your draft, everything will be fine ❤️❤️
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Will never forget the time I emailed Ex Indian Navy chief asking about UFOs and he replied lol (8th August 2022)
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Tbh...most people don't care about losers... that's a fact you have to be comfortable with...one of my friend lost his mom during corona...called him up, he was crying...failed CA final exams twice.. eventually passed...bro goes "no one cares about why you lost the game"
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@Tweetyty5
@NajlaYMB
@Motief7
@evblossom
@covergirl53
Daamn...not throwing shade trust me...but most indians have those installed at home ...since 2007-08... Because everyone knows tap water ain't clean enough for drinking
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@Ohyes92348489
@viraj_sheth
Exactly...they want his money and would say anything to get it...these people na 😂😂
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I'm gonna be honest but most ppl who are actually very knowledgeable about fin and tax etc rarely make videos about it..becs mostly they're shy af and wanna avoid attention..what you see online promoting "tax loopholes" and "unconventional finance hacks" are mostly frauds
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>she's got 120 unread texts
>Tons of dude's throwing pickup lines
>I was literally winner among the best
>Can't sleep for 2 days straight thanks to overthinking about competition waiting for me to fk up
😔😔😭
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Restarted my YouTube channel after 2 years and got 28 views yesterday... let'sssssss goooooo 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Monthly aim is to create a video with 1000 views 🔥🔥🥳🥳
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A really cute girl DM'd me cause she loved one of my boring tax threads (ikr) I called her a catfish account and a crypto bot (cause which girls texts first bro) and roasted her....turns out it's a real human...fml 😭😭😭😭😂😂😂😂
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@Mohak07588846
Idk ..but he's got restaurant too now ..with catering service for wedding etc...so I'm pretty sure he's making GOOOOOOD money
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I believe in UBS... Universal Basic Samosa ...samosa a day keeps sadness away ❤️❤️
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How to offer bribe in tax office
"Here, take this money and do my work"-> ❌❌ won't work, you'll get higher tax notice 😭😭
"Sir, we're small business sir, we can't handle this much of penalty...see if you can help us somehow sir...I know only you can help us ❤️❤️" -> ✅✅✅
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@Aakanksha_99
No lie...I started using Twitter to avoid travel influencers like you... fuelling FOMO everywhere....at this rate you won't even leave linkedin, 4chan, reddit in peace
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@billiewaligf
Ranchi (tier 2 town).. incident is from 2018... GST was kinda new that time and I wanted to show off my skills 😂😂
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Imagine dating a gen z and once a while she randomly goes "slayyyyyyyy"
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Italian mafia in a movie - Family comes first..
Kids : OMGGGG SOOOO COOOL
Grandpa at home - Family comes first..
Kids: MOMMMM GRANDPA IS SOOO CONTROLLING
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Immigrants as soon as they get Canadian citizenship...
"Omgggg stop the immigration wtffff"
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Nothing more embarassing than being an Indian living in India and still having Vitamin D deficiency... that's like a fish suffering from dehydration
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If you meet someone cute online and wanna do some fun activity together and connect...I'll suggest doing chess dates... basically add her on chess app...send her Google meet link so that she's in your ears..play 3-4 games of 10 minutes chess while you talk...you'll connect better
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Half of my twitter interaction is just hyping people up by commenting "based"
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@melqtx
If you're a hindu.. you get unlimited spawns..until you figure out your karma ..soooooo 🔥🔥
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Indian Kids don't realise how much their parents love them ig...I remember spending 2 hours in a meeting with govt officer talking about renewing our contract and he spend 1.5 hours talking about his kids, he was really proud of them..
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Accounting shortage in US is very real..
This is how hiring in India is going rn (even in big 4)
1st stage- We need CA's (Indian CPAs)
2nd stage- Even semi qualified CAs would do
3rd stage- People with just bachelor's can apply too now
😂😂😂😂
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That awkward moment when you see your coworker commenting "interested" in a job post 😶😶😐😐
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College and school friends are mostly based on factor of proximity
Internet friendship happen because of Vibes match 🔥🔥
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@JBasedos
The richest dude in my apartment had papa in a government job (lower level staff in the excise department) you were Uber rich if both your parents were working for the government 😂😂
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@k0ol1
Tech will always win big because of scalability...but yeah it's not the "only" way to get rich 🔥
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Never met anyone who was more genocidal against poor people than my leftist ex
"These homeless people should be thrown outside the city Ranveer, they ruin the vibe"
But it's so cold, plus they're not even harming anyone
Her: You don't understand what aesthetic is
😂😂😂
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Ngl all my twitter mutuals are cool af...like I loveeee all their stories....I'm glad to be here 🔥🔥🔥
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Everyone I talk to agrees to the fact that time is moving wayyyy too fast... specially since covid...been reading tons of tweets about this too... Interestingggg...
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You'll go crazy if you stay alone for too long tbh...I remember being alone in my whole hostel (thanks to my internship), while everyone was off celebrating winter vacation (1.5 month)...it used to get sooo lonely after work that I'd stand in front of a mirror and talk to myself
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How I feel when I'm in a gc filled with people who talk in depth about AI and Machine learning 😂😂😂😂
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> it's 2017
> ask this girl out on dinner date
>Says no
>Present ice cream date option
>Says yes
>It's busy season so working real hard
>call her up at 7 pm, she'll be working for next 1 hour
>Reach home, decide to take 20 min nap
>Wake up
>it's 10 pm
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I think I'm a crypto tax expert (for India) now 😂😂
if you didn't know already
@ranveer2252
is a fucking OG with lots of alpha, moreover an amazing guy too. Glad to even know folks like him 🙏
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My friend is about to get married to an Australian girl...now whenever he comes back home, he keeps looking at roads and surroundings like a weird person...and goes
"omg how will she live here" .. should have thought about that before wooing her king 😂😂😂
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I hope women never take the "young women should find a good husband instead of good career" people seriously..
There was this girl in school, really pretty and overall VERY good in studies...she was prepping for medical exams..was getting rank among her peers in tuitions..
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never understood why everyone was soooo obsessed with moving to US..then saw one dude talking about how 1 acre of land costs just $2600 there ..idc how remote that is...that is cheap afffffffff...count me in
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"Deloitte is a world famous investment banking company" 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡
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There are 2 type of cringe people
1. Who can't shut up about them being vegan (don't see them anymore tbh)
2. Who can't shut up about them enjoying non veg food (seeing lot of them onl9)
Just eat whatever suits your body, stfu and stay away from me (I like eating alone)
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Went on a date with cutest girl everrrrr.... everything went fine...was waiting for her cab and a crow shat on her shoulder...spent 15 minutes cleaning that thing...AMA
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Imagine dating someone and she goes "yeah, I never really cared about money or looks"
Brooooooo
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People don't realise how having big population helps lower the medical cost in India..
Let's assume an MRI machine costs
$ 500k ...
It's easier for investor to earn back his investment if he's about to serve 500k people than say 10k people
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@FrozenInRetro
Bengalis love poverty porn tbh... Kolkata got some of the most amazing new buildings ..but naah they'll call it "calcutta" and keep the vibe cringe
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It's soooo easy to raise kids in a joint indian family... I'm in my Village rn and the kid here has around 10 people to play with him....he's never tired and never runs out of people to play with him...his mom's life soooo much better than her city counterparts lol
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Used to think Autism and Down syndrome are foreign issues...but was talking to a neuro therapist recently and apparently number of cases are going through the roof in India...ok what is happening....
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Lol wtf...reactivated my Instagram after 1 month and notice my school crush removed me ...wowwww...guess she'll never know I'm niche internet meme lord now...
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@realEstateTrent
For a kid though...It's better if he don't talk to strangers ...being extrovert and people's person can be taught...gotta keep the kid safe till he's good enough to differentiate between shady stranger and normal stranger
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Will never understand what pansexual, sapiosexual etc means....I'm tax sexual, you're really good at calculating advance taxes?? Let's go on samosa date 🔥🔥
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Growing up if I thought "indie" meant "Indian" ...so I read any news about "indie band" I'd be like yeahhhhhhhh letsssssss gooooo Indian band is getting love 😂😂😂
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One thing which helped me grow a lot professionally was obsession with making the people I work with rich...it doesn't matter if it's a job or contractual work...idc...I'll try my best to make you rich (and that'll help me get rich) 🔥🔥
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When a demi god asked yudhisthira (in Mahabharata)
"Who is that friend bestowed on man by the gods?"
The answer was "wife"
That whole question answer sequence was really fun tbh, wait I'll add more lol
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Some people start a business without thinking much...know this guy who wanted to start a momo business (Chinese dish) ..bro purchased everything, food truck, utensils, fuel (gas), chairs etc....then realised he needed a chef who looked Chinese..😭😭
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@varunramg
@alth0u
That's why indians be winning in US with their bargaining skills and save money mindset
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The first time I called a girl "beautiful" irl was horrible
1. I chocked midway
2. My heart was racing
3. She didn't hear it in one go, so had to repeat it
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Dating someone while working in Tax/Accounting is difficult...
"why are you busy"
It's busy season
"But it was busy season just few months ago"
Ikr
"Yeah you're making that up"
No lol
"Sure sure"
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@Nirbhayyy_1
@shreyacasmalert
@LinkedIn
Bhai not being simp...but let women speak up when they talk about harrasment...it's everyone's responsibility to give them safe space...hope that dude sees this and knows that he's under observation
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Broooo...my mom is gonna ruin my arrange marriage btw...whenever someone asks her what kinda daughter in law she wants ..she goes I want a CA..Like Mom I've checked linkedin..CA girls from my caste are RAREEEEEE..it's impossible to find one..also I want some diversity in my life
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There was this girl I liked a lot since I was in class 4th, I was very mid in studies but she was a class topper..decided that I had to be really good in class so that I can woo her..never talked to her becs I was shy af,grew up..got everything I wanted and then sent her an Email
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God...me when 😞
1 year since meeting my beautiful smart gf off this stupid website
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Skills I'm gonna learn in next 5 years
1. Python
2. Hath yoga
3. Swimming
4. Neurotherapy
5. Boxing
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One of my dad's clients runs a YouTube news channel for a tier 3 Indian city.... It took him 3-4 years to get here but he's making really good money now (through sponsorships etc)....ig most of the life's successes depends on being consistent in whatever you do
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