Private Figure
@privatefigure_
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Statuses
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Nah mate, we plant them.
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Russian soldier getting showed more love in Ukraine than innocent African students.
A Russian soldier surrendered. Ukrainians gave him tea, food, and let him call his mother on video. I want to cry from how much I love my country.
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Her once you accept a gift:
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Pick one of those sticks and strike the water like Moses did
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Amemaliza kutudanganya sa ameanza kudanganya future generations
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Yaani huyu mama badala apeleke mtoto rehab alimpeleka statehouse now the whole country is suffering
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Edgar Obare bila resources anaezagather hiyo intel yote on wash wash goons alafu DCI with all the state resources at their disposal wanakuja kufloss hapa wakisolve kesi ndogo zenye hazina adabu. Bure kabisa.
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umeseti mwiko hapo ndio tuone ni kama unasonga😂
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My Aunt got discharged last evening, My uncle was transferred to Nakuru PGH, still in critical condition. Mum didn't make it💔
My mum, uncle and aunt had an accident on their way from a relatives funeral. Been camping here at Naivasha Hospital for the last hour. I've seen my Uncle and Aunt but they won't let me see my Mum. Mimi heri mtu aniambie ukweli kuliko kunizungusha
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The church couldn't forgive him?
Worshipper who stole from Nairobi Chapel jailed for three and half years
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Leo niliacha kama nimesoak nguo kurudi nazipata tu bado ziko kwa ndoo, Igathe vile tu aliskia Sakaja hatakua kwa ballot akalegeza gear kabisa.
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My mum, uncle and aunt had an accident on their way from a relatives funeral. Been camping here at Naivasha Hospital for the last hour. I've seen my Uncle and Aunt but they won't let me see my Mum. Mimi heri mtu aniambie ukweli kuliko kunizungusha
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How did Kibaki do so much without taxing us to death?
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Sonko alikua ameona mbali aki-apply death certificate in advance
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Promote my hustle by retweeting and placing orders.
(Check pricelist in the replies)
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Now I can't unsee
I will never forgive y’all for saying Wabosha and that kaBishop for “arise and shine” look alike.
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Neither CNN nor BBC would've reported about those racism incidents against Africans. Good thing we have social media.
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Raila opposed almost everything Kibaki did, Kibaki is the best president Kenya has ever had. Right now Raila is perfectly okay with everything Uhuru is doing to us. Now we know the type of president he would be.
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Imagine the uproar this picture would've caused if the black man was at the bottom
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After the Kianjokoma Brothers get justice we really need to talk about this curfew. We don't need it.
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She's literally cooking for you bro, si umpee hata heshima kiasi. Don't disrespect your woman to impress strangers on Twitter.
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Close your laptop beloved you have done enough for the week.
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"Halo Mum, uliacha wapi funguo?"
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Kuna shida msee akiingia airport na ndege yake?
Someone attempted to pass through airport security with a live chicken 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
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NTV could've invited Nyashinski but they didn't want to disappoint their viewers in Abuja
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If Nikita Kering was Nigerian or Tanzanian Kenyan radio stations would be playing her music on repeat I swear.
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"Siku hizi nadara pages za Bible...."
Pages za Bible:
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Kuna mathe amejitupa mbele ya gari flani hapa River Rd akijaribu kucommit suicide. Fortunately the driver stopped the car kabla amkanyage. Wasee wamenda kumuamsha atoke mbele ya gari akaanza tu kulia man saying she hajui vile ataface watoi when she goes home emptyhanded again😭😭
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"I started with one bottle of water, now i own two rivers!"
~ Chris Kirubi 2018
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Unaongeleshwa in a Laving-ton ama una - Keleleshwa?
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Tailors pale Gikosh hukua na PhD bana. Unampea shati a-fit Jamaa anakukagua for like 10 milliseconds anaanza kushona & within 5 minutes ashamaliza na hatadisappoint. Hapa esto jamaa anakupima height, weight, waist, haga😂 hadi next of kin na saa hizo labda ni zip tu anafaa kufix
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5 hour car drive and you can only listen to one Kenyan artiste, name the artiste.
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This boy got adopted by Sonko and his fate changed just like that.
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It's hard to understand women. I get home sai napata amekasirika bila reason. It can't be me, I haven't been home since Thursday.
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If 33.5 kgs of bhang is worth a mill yet 90kgs of maize is less than 3k, then Wajackoya knows what he's saying.
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Unaacha kama umeanika nguo, ukirudi jioni unapata Igathe ameanua zote na akazikunja.
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Kanairo kuna hustles zingine awkward sana. Nikiwa donda pale country bus kuna jamaa alikua anakuja daily na slippers imekatika. He'd walk into unsuspecting people's path alafu ukimkanyaga anakushow umekata slippers yake umpee doh apeleke kwa fundi. Sijui kama bado ye hukua.
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For several reasons this clip will never not be funny to me.
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Being broke is better than making money illegally.
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Why introduce someone to a lifestyle you can't maintain? Huyu neighbor ni kama amechelewa kulipia WiFi for the 2nd consecutive month.
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Quote this with a picture of you smiling with your loved one. 🥺🥺
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Jamaa anaamsha trailer kama nganya.... Impressive.
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Alafu tukapitia kwa hoteli flani Kiambu nikaitisha Pilau. Nililetewa mchele iko na food color, waru, njahí alafu badala ya nyama wameeka matumbo. Those people deserved Waititú btw
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Why not just pray for Haiti
Rachel Ruto sets up committee to pray for Kenyan police heading to Haiti
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*CRB
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Maji kiasi na sabuni, towel si must.
Tukuwe serious kidogo, mtu akitaka passport, anahitaji nini na nini?
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The government needs to be clear on the dates. Waseme watatushika lini sisi wenye hatuta re-register sim cards ndio nijue kama nitalipa rent au nikalie deposit.
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Lilian loves Juliani and he loves her just as much. Their love is MUTUA-L.
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Diana aliona vile bwana yake amesurvive kwa industry bila talent pia yeye akaamua kujaribu bahati.
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Na usijidanganye ati hii ni story ya Embu sasa ati we uko safe, No.These guys train in the same college. Police brutality is as close to you as the nearest police station. Only thing that can save you is your voice, speak up while you still can. Silence only gives 'em more power.
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There are 3 types of people
A. 500
B. 527
C. 530
Which one are you?
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Leo nimepigiwa na wrong number and the lady on the other end said, "Hallo... Mama Milka...“ Nikajipata nimesema "Milka Bonyo".
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Mbona uyo mtoi anakuchuna?
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Njoro Boys nao walikua bad news kitambo. Kuna time walikua wanastrike karibu kila term. Funkie wanakuja kila mtu na hockey stick yake. Kuna time tulifika pale Christ the King Cathedral Nakuru music festival nikiwa form 1. Dere alipark tu hivi basi kama wameingia ndani. 1/2
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You want him to walk away from his mother?
“President Uhuru Kenyatta must walk away from bad advice” ~ Linus Kaikai.
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Unaita mwafrika mwenzako wildlife for rts?
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What's a random tweet you remember and just start laughing?
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Now verify your performances
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I look financially stable until it's time to do you a favour
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Mnabebwa na Wababa wako na Wish na unasema hukujua ako na family. Nduta, surely 7 seater anaezakua amenunua kujibeba?
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