Herschel Pennymacker
@pennymacker
Followers
2K
Following
42K
Media
75
Statuses
17K
I know why the caged bird drinks. https://t.co/RxYsGZ8pAg
Joined January 2017
I don’t need a “bidet.” I have a “waterpik” and “pretty good aim.”.
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RT @DamonHunzeker: If you ever get attacked by a bear, throw your shark at it if you have a shark.
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RT @darthgordita: had a dream that josh brolin saw godzilla walk by him and just said “lotta meat”.
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RT @DamonHunzeker: I’ll see your apostrophe in Hell.
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RT @AnneHatfieldVO: If you ask me what a turnbuckle is, I'll know. I'm an expert in tension. (Ahahaha!).
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RT @SamSkoronski: Valentine's Day always reminds me how lonely I am, and Labor Day always reminds me how unemployed I am.
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RT @AnneHatfieldVO: I celebrate Labor Day the traditional way. I take out the trash, go back inside, say “goddammit,” and bring the trash b….
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RT @heatherjs: I want to make toast in space so that when it pops, the toast just floats around in the air.
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RT @Benjones2Jones: Sorry, folks. We accidentally made your pizza half pepperoni, half anti-pepperoni, and it exploded into gamma rays. Hav….
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RT @fuzzlime: I once accidentally bought a 10x magnifying makeup mirror and it scared the shit out of me.
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RT @IfIwassomething: Whenever anyone goes to the weasel closet, or WC as they say, you'll hear a mother yell "Don't use the guest weasels"….
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RT @Adora2000: I don’t have enough relatives who like each other to be on Family Feud.
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RT @jlock17: I think I could’ve been in the Olympics as one of those guys who runs around in tight circles and throws something heavy. I th….
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RT @proverbs_jones: People see me spending money and think I'm rich. Bro, I'm just Irresponsible.
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RT @fuzzlime: turns out I either play the harmonica brilliantly or I don't have a clue that's the beauty of it.
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RT @fuzzlime: I dont care if my GPS tells me I'll save 4 minutes going a different way I'm going the way I like.
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RT @Metalligretch: Need a freezer big enough to sleep in.
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