JΔKE
@peakeachu
Followers
134
Following
796
Media
220
Statuses
2K
It takes a village to raise a child, but it takes a Viking to raze a village.
Joined October 2011
Edmonton is up there for the best show of the tour thus far. So ridiculous.
2
4
15
"I make way too much money to be drunk in the middle of the street" - some drunk guy in the middle of the street
0
0
2
You can actually guess the number of buttons a dude has open on his shirt based on how far away you can smell his cologne from #EauDuDouche
0
0
1
Me as a cop: I bet you're wondering why I pulled you over? Well I see you have a dog and I was wondering if I could pet it
20
1K
2K
Can't wait to tap tmrw's cask of Coffee Infused Brown Ale from @alley_kat_beer featuring @transcendcoffee. #yegbeer
http://t.co/AvlZNS9lj1
1
2
3
"You don't look at all like you just spent a week in Mexico" - Everyone today #PastyKidProblems
0
0
2
The coolest thing about being a girl would definitely be the supersonic hearing & mind-reading powers you get when you become a mom.
0
2
3
The amount of times I get called Ed Sheeran on a regular basis is getting out of hand
1
0
3
Waka Flocka Officially Enters The 2016 Race For The White House http://t.co/NpWBlwBYpP
http://t.co/CLbu3sycP7
1
82
74
If by "bring glory to His name" you mean "kick the shit out of that loathsome bastard Floyd Mayweather", then yes. http://t.co/P8wj5x69VJ
92
3K
4K
"Did your hair look like that all day?" ".... Yeah?" "Oh. You still make good tips?" #ThanksMom
0
0
1
.@GOP How can we encourage kids suffocated by student loan debt to turn to violent crime so we can fill private prisons with them?
38
509
1K
I think using chocolate as a spoon to eat cake after going to the gym kinda defeats the purpose
0
0
4
An Atheist, a Vegan, and a Crossfitter walk into a bar... I only know because they told everyone within 2 minutes.
0
28
25