MacK Seale
@merrymakingmack
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1,281
Following
515
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484
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5,393
💡sharing tips & templates to elevate your work & your life 💫 learned from 10 yrs @warbyparker @apple 👉 sign up
Austin, TX 🤠
Joined October 2022
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still blows my mind how the internet lets us find AND help our mentors.
so special to work with someone that i very much admire.
if you're ever in a canva conundrum or design dilemma, please shoot me a dm so i can help you too!
Just a quick shout out to .
@merrymakingmack
who has been such a brilliant help to me over the last week or so, as I try to wrap my head around building a website in Canva.
If you need any design/website advice in the near future, make sure you reach out to her.
Superstar.
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@Theholisticpsyc
over-understanding others = under-valuing you.
you can be understanding while still taking care of you.
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@Theholisticpsyc
very much in my cocooning era.
it's less about being anti-social
& more about being pro-myself.
learning, growing, & evolving in my silky safe space.
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@Theholisticpsyc
seek to understand before seeking to punish.
the real problem may be hiding in plain sight.
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@Theholisticpsyc
the day i stopped waiting to be chosen
and decided to chose myself
changed my entire life.
as rumi says,
"unlearning is the highest form of learning"
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@Theholisticpsyc
if you were an old soul at a young age,
you deserve to be a young soul at an old age
time for you to make up for all the missed play time
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@Theholisticpsyc
thought being "needed" was romantic.
now i understand that dependency isn't love, it's a trap.
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@Theholisticpsyc
the "selfless mom" narrative is so toxic
to the mother, children, partner, & society
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@Theholisticpsyc
denying isn’t an apology.
blaming isn’t an apology.
avoiding isn’t an apology.
silencing isn’t an apology.
justifying isn’t an apology.
deflecting isn’t an apology.
minimizing isn’t an apology.
this is the formula for a true apology:
A true apology involves:
1. An acknowledgment of pain caused
2. How behavior will change in the future
3. Listening fully to how you’ve impacted someone
Have you gotten a true apology?
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@Theholisticpsyc
4 affirmations to support:
1. rejection does not define me
2. i am proactive, not reactive
3. it's okay to say no, even to family
4. i choose authenticity over approval
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@Theholisticpsyc
that i was capable of love
during the relationship
but more importantly
i was capable of self-love
after the relationship
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@Theholisticpsyc
a second chance should come with a software update: bugs fixed, new features added, & definitely more user-friendly.
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@Theholisticpsyc
silent treatment is extremely passive aggressive.
the lack of words is truly a lack of communication skills.
it's the loudest wordless signal of immaturity.
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@Theholisticpsyc
your ability to explain these deep truths of being human is such a gift. thank you for sharing it with us.
i like these positive cognitions that complement your 10 steps:
1. i can make mistakes
2. i now have choices
3. i deserve to be happy
4. i am lovable
5. i can trust…
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@Theholisticpsyc
way too many think of walking away as losing
when really walking away is winning yourself back.
time for us to honor people for honoring their needs, honoring their feelings, & honoring themselves.
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@Theholisticpsyc
i've found that highly defensive people have deep insecurities & wounds they're terrified to face.
they live in a place of unsafety & instability. in great fear of intimacy & vulnerability.
their fights & flights reflect their own inner turmoil.
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@AdamMGrant
@_workchronicles
@TEDTalks
bad mentors use you as a tool
good mentors give you their map
great mentors help you build your compass
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@Theholisticpsyc
i really struggle to moderate my hypervigilance
sometimes it can help, but most of the time i end up overthinking everything & overanalyzing everyone
i constantly have to remind myself of the mantra:
"i release fear & embrace peace"
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@Theholisticpsyc
"a past reaction to the present"
really resonates with me
& reminds me of victor frankl's quote:
“between stimulus and response there is a space.
in that space is our power to choose our response.
in our response lies our growth & our freedom.”
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@Theholisticpsyc
i spent a long time dreaming of the day i would hear even just some of these words. i still have some hope.
but the older i get, the more i release this hope.
i've found more peace & power from reparenting myself.
so i'm going to take this thread, write it down, & mail it to…
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@Theholisticpsyc
don't even think about matching their energy until you're meeting your own physical needs.
as you so eloquently explained in your new book with this authentic needs pyramid
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@Theholisticpsyc
emotionally mature parents give an invaluable inheritance.
a legacy richer than any material wealth.
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@Theholisticpsyc
i only recently learned that our stress response is more than fight or flight.
it's fight, flight, freeze, or fawn.
we freeze when we can't fight or flight.
we fawn when we can't fight or flight or freeze.
i'm sure there is more to this than i understand, but just knowing it…
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@Theholisticpsyc
old me:
- tiptoed on eggshells
- ignored my needs
- avoided conflict
new me
- rocks steel-toed boots
- prioritizes my well-being
- communicates directly
turned the eggshells into fertilizer for my growth
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@Theholisticpsyc
important to add that truly fulfilling relationships are mutually fulfilling relationships.
can't be one sided
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@Theholisticpsyc
if you're silenced, you're not loved or loving, you're controlled.
love doesn't mute voices; love amplifies voices.
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@Theholisticpsyc
marriage is not a compulsory checkbox on life's to-do's
it's an option that can bring joy, but isn't the only path to fulfillment
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@Theholisticpsyc
i've experienced that narcissists not only deny my reality, but distort my reality too.
while boundaries are necessary, i think knowing & owning your authentic self is absolutely critical too.
you must know your ground to be able to stand it.
if you don't know your ground, the…
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@Theholisticpsyc
when my partner needs space, it hits like a sucker punch (hello, anxious attachment)
i try to tell myself it's not a knockout game over moment, but a breather to regroup
if i can take breaths and calm myself, i almost always benefit from the timeouts, too
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@Theholisticpsyc
the paradox of toxic shame:
it drives us to avoid our reality
while making us obsess over control.
break the cycle by embracing vulnerability
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@Theholisticpsyc
and even if you were there, you don't know how it felt for someone else to experience.
all our past lived experiences shape our present.
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@Theholisticpsyc
i lost myself in keeping the peace for others.
i spent so much time monitoring the emotions of others i completely lost touch with what i felt, who i was, or what i wanted.
i shrunk as much as possible to make others feel better.
everything changed when i realized:
hiding…
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@Theholisticpsyc
quitting isn't losing.
quitting is choosing.
choosing you & your best life.
over whatever isn't serving you.
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@Theholisticpsyc
if they can't stand up for your boundaries, they can't stand up for their boundaries
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@Theholisticpsyc
bread crumbing is way more common in friendships than dating. i don't know why it isn't talked about more.
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@Theholisticpsyc
practice the safe six
with the ol' rawr:
1. be openminded
2. laugh at yourself
3. regulate your emotions
4. genuinely apologize
5. match words to actions
6. respect other's truths
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@Theholisticpsyc
don't marry for their love.
do marry from your love.
loved your writing on this in "how to be the love you seek"
"love, as it turns out, doesn't come from anything or anyone outside us; it lives within each of us.[...] and when we act in alignment with this loving guidance,…
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@Theholisticpsyc
fawning helped me survive as a child, but made me so much so more vulnerable to manipulation as an adult.
i was constantly on edge to rock any boat, even if it meant sinking my boat.
after lots & lots of reflection, i realized that not voicing my needs was lying & hurting me &…
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11 hard-hitting truths we all need to accept from the book "how to do the work"
in celebration of the birthday of the author, our queen of healing,
@Theholisticpsyc
every single one of these quotes hits home & makes you think:
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@Theholisticpsyc
inhale your intuition
hold on to your truth
exhale your wisdom
let go of the bullshit
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@Theholisticpsyc
hurt people hurt people.
bitterness is contagious,
but so is kindness.
break the chain.
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@Theholisticpsyc
marry people who know "how to do the work"
& "how to be the love [they] seek"
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@Theholisticpsyc
i've heard the comparison that finding the right therapist is a lot like dating. think sometimes too the connection just isn't there.
but sadly the stakes are higher because one bad therapy date can turn someone off to therapy for life.
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@Theholisticpsyc
we need to stop applauding kids for being "mature"
mature is just the reframed socially accepted term for overseriousness meets hypervigilance
whats really happening is the kids are not being given permission to play by others
so they don't learn how to give themselves…
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a very merry milestone with
@beehiiv
:
0 to 1K subs in one year
1k to 2K subs in one month (!!!)
here's to more momentum & merrymaking in 2024!
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@Theholisticpsyc
unlearning childhood tools for surviving
creates space for adult tools for thriving
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ever wonder why you think the way you do?
it's your ego, a "narrator" in your mind is shaped by your childhood.
most sleepwalk through life on the ego's terms.
but you can wake up by meeting your ego.
spotting your ego's stories allows you to separate yourself from your ego.…
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@Theholisticpsyc
cortisol junkie cycle:
avoid inner stress
by seeking outer stress
which creates more inner stress.
rinse & repeat.
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@Theholisticpsyc
crying from the beauty of this book & finding this post-it my boyfriend snuck into it without me knowing 💜
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@Theholisticpsyc
too many people choose to feel "right" over being true
and even more confuse the two
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@AdamMGrant
3 critical components of an authentic apology:
- expressing regret
- taking responsibility
- avoiding recurrences
spoken in an apology as:
- i feel bad
- i was wrong
- i will change
we all make mistakes so we all need to learn to authentically apologize.
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@Theholisticpsyc
important to note that narcissists may start out seeming to understand your emotions.
but really they're trying to understand your weaknesses.
so that later they can exploit your weaknesses while denying your emotions.
their goal is to control you for their benefit.
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@Theholisticpsyc
this advice applies to when YOU betray yourself, too:
1. don't judge yourself
2. don't tend to the side of you that betrayed
3. find your betraying side support
4. know you don't need to forgive yourself right now
5. take control of the real you
6. it's your choice to go back
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@Theholisticpsyc
society defines adults by:
- employment
- brain development
- civic participation
- legal accountability
when adults should be defined by:
- empathy
- self development
- conflict communication
- personal accountability
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@Theholisticpsyc
a rumi poem powerfully paints this concept
"this being human is a guest house"
our thoughts & feelings are all honored visitors
we are just the space in which they occur
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@Theholisticpsyc
long term isn't the only term.
relationships come in all shapes & sizes.
there's a time & place for the long-term long-distance low-commitment casual relationships too.
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@Theholisticpsyc
the ABC's of adulting:
Always
Be
Communicating
no one can read your mind. heck sometimes you can't even read your own mind.
so you must learn the language of emotion to truly communicate & connect.
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@AdamMGrant
@lizandmollie
the hardest part about this is that i think many, if not most, people do not actually know their true values.
and if you don't know your values, you'll default to being what others or society thinks you should be.
to figure out mine, i've started asking myself this one…
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@Theholisticpsyc
over-giving is a way of keeping your life camera focused outward, avoiding the flip to selfie mode to see how you really feel out of insecurity
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@Theholisticpsyc
perfectionism is built on external approval
it's a never ending cycle of seeking validation
we relentlessly pursue perfection on other's terms
while feeling empty and unfulfilled on our own terms
we need to all admit the truth:
we are all imperfectly perfect
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@Theholisticpsyc
the only competition worth winning is the one against the doubts in your head.
bc winning means you've fully accepted yourself.
this triumph is available to everyone.
life's not a zero-sum game.
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@Theholisticpsyc
to make matters worse, the corporate world encourages & enables the good girl conditioning even more.
we're overdue to drop this narrative for all ages.
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@Theholisticpsyc
your friendships are reflection of your relationship with yourself.
if you don't have energy for friends, you likely aren't taking care of yourself.
make time for you or even better be vulnerable and ask a friend for help.
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on healing yourself:
"healing is a daily event. you can't "go somewhere" to be healed; you must go inward to be healed."
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@Theholisticpsyc
your needs not only matter, they deserve to be met.
same holds true for your desires.
you're important, worthy, & so lovable just as you are.
embody your self-worth.
you're so worthy of:
belonging,
respect,
desires,
needs,
safety,
& love.
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@Theholisticpsyc
dating isn't a phase,
it's a lifestyle.
if you stop dating your partner,
you might wake up next to a stranger one day.
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@Theholisticpsyc
they're stuck on faulty default settings:
provoker defaults to drama
blame projector defaults to victim
personalizer defaults to insecurity
life of the party defaults to impulses
you can't upgrade them, you can only uninstall.
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