Learning how to say “no” is how we gain confidence and self respect. It’s our most basic boundary. Here’s how to practice:.

Are you mean, or are you just exhausted?.

Don’t avoid screen as night if you have trauma or nighttime anxiety. Screens can distract you from your thoughts and be a way of self soothing. Without them, it can be harder to actually fall asleep.

Someone needs to hear this: you can be raised by a parent and not know them at all. More families are familiar strangers than you think.

Disorganized attachment summed up: emotionally unavailable people bring out your neediness, and highly needy people bring out your avoidance.

If you want someone to tell you the truth, become someone who can hear the truth.

One of the way to improve your confidence and learn emotional regulation is to execute on a goal, and push through it when when you’re uncertain or frustrated. Finish things you start, you’ll heal.

Partner with someone who doesn’t expect it to be easy. Who is ready to put in work and effort. Who gives you grace on difficult days and encouragement when you fall into survival mode.

Bookmark this and use it until “no” becomes comfortable.

Take small steps. Every time you practice this, you’ll learn how good it feels to honor your own limits. You’ll teach your body you keep yourself safe.

6. Affirm your choice: next close your eyes and say to yourself “supportive people want me to support myself.”.

5. Repeat this line a few times: notice how your body shifts when you stand up for yourself snd honor your limits. You’ll notice your breathing is slower and anxiety is fading.

4. Speak your truth: say what you wish you had said in that moment out loud . Ex: “no thank you” “I can’t make that” or “I’m taking space for myself next Saturday” . *it’s important to speak this out loud for practice.

3. Feel your body boundary: notice if your chest is tightened thinking about this or if you have discomfort or anxiety. This is how your body says NO.

2. Ground yourself: stand with your hands a few inches from your body with palms facing inwards.

This practice will help you notice when your body says “enough” and gives you the words to respond. 1. Recall: think about a moment when you said “yes” but deep down wanted to say no. Ex: you wanted to turn down plans and rest.

A loving no is a way of saying yes to ourselves. For people pleasers saying no can put us into fight or flight. But it helps us end the pattern of self betrayal.

Meeting someone who genuinely enjoys doing the most mundane tasks with you is one of life’s greatest glimmers.

Feeling bored is a sign your nervous system is finally getting regulated.

How to regulate your nervous system in 2 minutes: